U L T R A V I O L E T

XXVI

June 1, 19—
These past four days have probably been some of the best that I have ever experienced. I stayed in the sand from dawn until dusk. I waded in the water until I was completely capsized and I could no longer breathe. It was a time of total peace in serenity. No one was yelling. No one triggered my millions of horrid pet peeves. I felt okay and I finally was able to convince myself that maybe I'm not as horrible as I once thought I was. I now know that no one deserves to die, not even I. I am no longer responsible for trying to please others. I won't apologize for not being extraordinarily beautiful anymore. Maybe I'm just not meant to be that. I'm not meant to be a person who constantly interacts with the public. Good looks would be wasted upon me anyways. I can't apologize for my feelings anymore, because if I do, I know that I will never be the same. I'm not in a giddy, uncontrollable happy, but I am still content and that's all I can ever ask for. I'm flying home tomorrow morning and I will start creating. Soon it will be determined as to whether or not I am an ultraviolet or just a violet. I honestly don't think that I am good enough to be an ultraviolet, but I have found that people are full of surprises. I can't wait to explore more and see what this grand universe is comprised of. I can't wait to see what I'm made of and what I can actually do. We all have universes inside of ourselves, and that's great, but also terrifying, because we will never know everything that we hold. Will all of that be lost when we die? That is just another thing that we will never know.
-a.l.r