U L T R A V I O L E T

XXIII

May 25, 19—
Today I went exploring without my mentor for the first time. I woke up halfway through the hour after twelve, which is extremely late for someone like me. I used to wake up no later than six in the morning. I used to be so simple minded and lazy. I never had the motivation to work and better myself and be the person I have always wanted to be. I let doubt become my best friend and control me but not anymore. I went to a bar today at the end of my short exploration trip. I had two or three glasses of vodka, and  then I found this giant glass orb formed in cool, analogous colors. I saw a few people had their hands placed on it, their eyes zones out and hazy. I was taken aback, but I didn't cower away from my curiosity anymore. I placed my hand on the magnificent crystallized object. In that instant, I could feel every neuron in my brain expanding and contracting with electric shocks of life. I never knew how little I have actually lived. My constant daily routine of my past life has left me with nothing more than a melancholic, minuscule memory. My brain has subconsciously hidden these thoughts from my frontal cortex. The part of myself that I have yet to meet knows that I don't want to know what happened to me when I was younger. I never have and I never will. The past has past and the present is far to stressful to ponder and scratch over things that have been forever carved into stones. I saw the joys and hardships of life in that orb. I'll never forget what I saw and I hope to build a better me with the knowledge I have gained in such a short amount of time. I hope to stop hoping and being, something I couldn't even dream of doing in my past world. Maybe everyone was right. Maybe ultraviolet will be my total escape. It's working really well so far.
-a.l.r