U L T R A V I O L E T

XXI

May 24, 19—
This morning was an absolute train wreck, but what I just experienced a few moments ago was absolutely mesmerizing. I saw Ultraviolet's annual water show and I don't think me describing it could do it justice. It was so amazing. Breathtaking. Water was streaming and flowing in every direction. It was fast and slow at the same time. Thrilling and calming too. As the water descended from its ascend into the clouds, it covered all of us with this crystallizing mist and I didn't even mind getting wet. It's a funny thing, you know, little things that used to bother you, no longer bother you when you are at peace. Everyone was shouting, and my panic never even took over once. It was an absolute fantasia. I feel very at peace right now, and it feels like such a release. I am usually teetering right on the edge and it feels nice. For right now at least. My mood changes around fifty times a day, and I don't know if that is a problem or not. I'm suicidal one second and happy-go-lucky the next. I think this causes people to not take me seriously, because everyone thinks that it's just a game or something. It frustrates me to the max, because I just don't know how to make people understand how I feel. I can't write much today, because I have to go to sleep as soon as possible, because I have got a big day ahead of me tomorrow and I need as much rest as I can get. Still hoping and working.
-a.l.r