U L T R A V I O L E T

XXIV

May 26, 19—
Today I woke up and I felt like a completely different person. I don't feel the melancholy that I once did. I don't feel that overwhelming desire to disappear and fly away forever. Nothing triggers me anymore. The imaginary weight that crumbled me and made my shoulders cry has dissipated. I feel free and I don't feel myself lying when I say it anymore. I had a dream last night that I was sitting in front of a TV. I was in an opiated state. All that flashed and scattered across the screen were breaking cracks and buzzes of blue and purple with flicks of red. It was the true ultraviolet experience and I had no control over it. They told me that I would have some pretty crazy dreams, and that being the reason that sleeping pills were so popular here. I didn't learn anything from the dream, but I still can't fathom how three colors can match so well. Two basic colors and their sole derivative. In that derivative there are an endless amount of possibilities. That excites me, because it's kind of like life. You can do anything. You can be anything. You can change what you have become. All these endless possibilities and you have so much more control than you think you do. Your mind has the upmost power to make you feel like you are so weak and worthless, but they're only thoughts. They are not shackles that are u breakable. They are like those cheap hand cuffs that you can buy at the general store in the children's section. They always have a little safety escape button on them, so that if a child gets stuck they can safely get themselves out. That's what our minds are like. They like to act like they are all big and bad, but in the end they are weak, fragile little things. They are the worst victims of napoleonic syndrome. They know they don't control you unless you let them, so they have to come up with the best lie and problem to hold you back. If you can't teach yourself that thoughts are not facts and that they are not always true, you can and will conquer everything that you have ever wanted to. You and your mind, and mine and I as well, will soon be the best of friends and we will all be so glad that we never gave up on life. I hope that everyone, ultraviolets, violets, and everyone who hasn't chose to come here, lives out a happy life in the end and that it was all really worth the fight. Our minds are weapons, and we shouldn't use them or let them hurt ourselves.
-a.l.r