Cloak and Dagger

Chapter 12

"Do you think you could manage all that?" I ask softly.

"It would be my pleasure, Aikurushii." Watari smiles, taking the envelope from my hands.

"Do you... want to see the Death Note?" I ask, even more softly.

"No, thank you my dear. I somewhat doubt my old heart could take it." Watari chuckles. "But we'll see to everything going just as you and Ryuzaki have planned."

"Watari, you never did tell me... How?" I ask. "How can you accept everything I've told you, especially just on face value? Everything that was meant to happen to Ryuu..."

Watari smiles gently, patting my hair as he passes me.

"It's much easier to accept what I've already seen," he says. "In all truth, Aikurushii, in that respect, you're very much like his mother."

"Ryuu's..." I can't quite finish the thought.

"I just pray that you will see a brighter future than she did."

I swallow hard, forcing my legs to work. I've taken more than enough time to sulk. I head for the elevator, making up my mind. I need to see him, too.

I knock on the door to his room. I find myself nervously chewing on my fingers. He might have any number of reasons to turn me away.

"Ellen - I mean... Aikurushii."

"Hey, Light." I murmur, looking up at his brown eyes. "Can I speak with you? It's kind of important."

"Are you alright?" Light asks, brows furrowing in concern.

"I... I will be." I answer honestly, pulling on a small smile. "Thanks. But I still really need to speak with you."

"Of course. Come on in."

Light's room is sparsely decorated, though the furniture is just as luxurious as all the other suites. Light gestures to the couch, and I follow the silent direction. I find myself especially interested in Light's body language; he sits close enough to prove he still wants to be in my company, however, he also rests his elbows on his thighs and stares at the floor as if he can't look at me.

"Light... I'm sorry that I left you." I whisper. "We couldn't risk you messing up the stratagem. If you or Sayu-chan acted at all out of character for someone who'd just lost a member of their family, and I really was being watched by Kira... They would've known. We wouldn't have gotten any reaction."

"I understand that." Light mutters. "What I don't understand is why you stayed away for so long. Your point was more than proven."

I cross my arms over my midriff.

"Did he make you stay?"

"Ryuu made it certain that I knew I could leave whenever I wanted to." I tell Light. "But I... was really scared. What if Kira took me away and locked me up? What if I never got to see the sun again - what if I lost you and Sayu-chan and okaachan and otouchan?"

"That's why you stayed with Ryuzaki-kun?" Light asks, looking up at me at last. "You were afraid?"

"Pitiful, am I right?" I mumble. "You were never phased by anything, huh, Light? You don't register fear, you just act. You know that you're probably gonna get hurt, or face adversity, and you take it in stride. Meanwhile, I just..."

I sigh, leaning on my legs and staring at the carpet despondently.

"I just had to be sure he didn't force you into anything." Light says. "Ellen, I know you. The are two things you undoubtedly are; loyal and free-spirited. The idea of you being locked up against your will, forced to pretend you disliked me, made to be something you're not... You told me, one time, that it was your idea of torture."