Dear No One | Ethan Dolan Fan Fiction

Chapter 19- Parting Gift

A/N- Listen to Talk Me Down while reading this for an enhanced experience and major feels :)

Just then, I hear knocking on my window and a quiet voice calling my name. Secretly hoping it's Ethan, I reach over and pull up the shade. What is Grayson doing here at 3AM? My house is only one level, so he stands outside my window, shivering in only a hoodie and sweats in the frigid early December air. I gently pull open the window, trying to be quiet do I don't wake Mom again.
"What the hell Grayson?" I whisper as I help him through the window.
Grayson doesn't respond; he simply closes the window, pulls the curtains back, and sits down on my bed. His head is turned downward, eyes fixed on my bedroom floor. I should probably be more afraid; I mean the school's biggest bully just climbed through my bedroom window at 3AM. But I am no longer afraid of Grayson Dolan, I am not even angry at him anymore, all I feel toward him is numbness. He took everything from me, he can't hurt me anymore. He stripped me of everything, and there's nothing left for him to take. I sit down beside Grayson on the bed, and watch him. His hair is wind blown, his lips are chapped, his cheeks and nose rosy from the cold. The thing that stands out to me the most are the dark bags under his eyes. I can't help but wonder what thoughts fill his sleepless nights. I wonder if he tosses and turns, struggling to escape the darkness of his nightmares. I wonder if his thoughts strangle him in his sleep. I wonder if he can't sleep because of me.

Grayson clears his throat a little, and then begins to talk softly.
"You should see him."
"What?"
"You should see him. The way he sits in his room all day. The way he doesn't smile anymore. The way he gazes into the distance, lost in thought."
And I instantly know who he is talking about. I can see it happening in my mind as he continues.
"The way he walks around: lifeless, like a zombie. The way the bags hang under his eyes. The way he cries when he thinks no one can hear."
My eyes brim with tears for the millionth time this week; I am so weak. Everything brings me to tears now.
"Brittany?" His beautiful, hypnotizing hazel eyes lock on mine.
"He is so in love with you."
The words take a few seconds to register in my brain, and my heart skips a beat. Did I hear right?
"Who could ever love me?" I whisper under my breath.
Suddenly, I feel Grayson's hand under my chin; he props my tear stained face up so we're eye to eye.
"How could anyone not fall in love with you?" His wide smile lights up the dark room as he continues.
"The way your smile lights up the room, the way you hide behind your hair, the way you blush when someone compliments you, everything about you is perfect."
I feel myself blushing and I give him a shy smile.
I can hear a twinge of sadness in his voice.
"I hate you so much Brittany Grace! You tangle my emotions in knots, and pull me under your magical spell. I was just supposed to bully you, that's it. It was supposed to be simple. But instead I fell in love with you. So in love with you."
His voice he cracks.
"But you love Ethan," he whispers.

Tears are now slipping down his face, but he does not make a sound, and somehow that hurts me worse than if he had broken out into sobs, because he is trying so hard. I assume he's here to try and win me over. I expect him to desperately plea for me, to beg for me to give him a chance, to say something spontaneous and radical like we could run away together, but instead, he whispers out a single word.

"Go," he croaks in a low, raspy voice.
"What?"
"Go."
"Go where Grayson? I have nowhere left to run," I tell him.
"You've taken everything from me Grayson. EVERYTHING!" I scream.
"My best friend, my happiness, and finally Ethan. What are you hear to take now?!" I cry.
"My sorry excuse for a life is all I have, and I doubt you'd want," I whisper.
Tears roll down his face as I speak.
"Go back to Ethan," he whispers.
"What the f*** Grayson... He told me he never wanted to see me again," I say, tears streaming down my cheeks.
"Go back to Ethan; he misses you more than you'll ever realize. He feels horrible about what he did to you, but he's afraid you won't want him back."
My heart jolts at the idea that Ethan might still care about me.
"It's all my fault that this happened. I-I was jealous of how much you loved Ethan, and of how much he loved you. I wanted you," he whispers, and I can tell he is on the brink of tears.
"But now I realize how selfish I was. I tried to take something that wasn't mine to take. And I'm sorry. Now I see how wrong I was. You and Ethan need each other, and you both love each other. He needs you Britt; don't let his angry words fool you."
I sit in shocked silence, letting Grayson's words sink in. Ethan still loves me. Ethan still cares about me. And then I remember Grayson.
"What about you Grayson?" I ask him, sadness in my voice.
"I'll have to move on," he says softly.
His glassy eyes meet mine, and I pull him into a warm hug. His arms secure around my waist tightly, and I pull my head under his chin, letting his tears drip into my hair.
"If it's better for you, we don't have to be friends," I whisper into his hair. I can only imagine how painful this must be for him.
"No, I want to be friends. I'm sorry for what I did. Can you ever forgive me?" he whispers.
"Already have," I reply, turning my head slightly to see a smile enter his tear streaked face.
"Can I ask one last thing?" Asks Grayson.
I nod.
"Can I kiss you?"

~ Grayson's POV ~

"Can I kiss you?"

The words hang in the air like a cloud of smoke. I shouldn't have said that. I'm only reopening her healing wounds. Stupid Grayson stop f***** everything up.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have-"
My words are cut off as Britt presses her lips into mine. I sit there, tears streaming down my face as she kisses me, even though she doesn't love me. I don't deserve a girl like this. Even after all the crap I put her through, she forgave me. Even though I've hurt her so much, she still cares about me. I don't deserve her.

Her lips on mine feel wonderful, but so wrong. She is meant for Ethan; she and I both know it. But my own selfish desires needed to feel her body against mine like it is now. I can feel her heartbeat as we kiss, and I realize how hard it will be to let her go. To know that she will never love me like I love her hurts terribly. Even though I'll still see her everyday, things will be different. There will be nothing more than a friendship between us, and in a way, I'm giving her up. I'm giving up the girl I love most for the brother that I love more. I guess you could call this a parting gift.

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THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 2K READS!! I know I put it at the end of my last chapter just before I hit 2K, but I honestly can't thank you enough. So many people have voted and left me sweet comments, and it makes me so happy to know you guys like this book! By the way, on my last chapter, I mentioned doing a Q&A for 2K reads, so if you're interested, here are the rules: If your interested, leave me a comment with a question in it or message me privately. Questions can be about ANYTHING (Ex: about this book, about me, etc.) I'll answer them all, but I'll only do it if I have enough. Ask me as many questions as you want! So far I have only a few questions. Also if you are interested in making me a cover for this book, leave me a comment, and we can talk. Thanks for reading and please vote!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!

-Erica