Dear No One | Ethan Dolan Fan Fiction

Chapter 15- Why Does Life Hate Me?

The sound of my mom's voice shatters my sweet dreams that kept me safe.
"Brittany! It's Thanksgiving! Come help with the food!" she calls from the kitchen.
I can hear pots and pans clanging, and the smell of turkey wafts into my room. I roll over and turn on my phone to discover that is is 10:00. Groggily, I climb out of bed and head into the kitchen. Breakfast is long over, but I open the fridge and grab a plate of food my mom saved me. I head over to the coffee pot and pour half a cup into my mug and take it to my bedroom.

I don't normally get ready or even wake up this early on break, but since my family is here, my mom will be mad if I don't get ready. I take a quick shower and throw on a semi- clean black sweater from a few days ago and a pair of ripped black jeans. I braid my wet hair back and put on a little bit of concealer and mascara. I check my appearance in the mirror and sigh heavily. I hate the way I look. My hair is a dark color that makes my skin look ghostly pale. My eyes are the color of a stormy sky. I'm pretty thin, but I still feel fat when I look at my stomach. How could anyone even like me? I sigh, and put these thoughts out of my head. I have to pretend to be fine for one day, just one day. I remember the scars on my wrists, so I slip on black braided bracelets to cover them.

While I get ready, I munch on a little bit of eggs and toast, but throw the majority of it away. I'll have to eat a good amount today, and I don't need to gain any more weight. I head down the hallway and put my plate and mug in the sink. Mom is bustling around, trying to make everything perfect. I can tell she feels a need to show Dad that she has moved on. Currently, she is mashing hot potatoes and gradually adding butter. She refused to let Dad do any work, so he and the kids are sitting in our pathetic excuse for a living room. The TV is on, and the kids are playing with a couple of my old stuffed animals. Susan insisted on helping Mom, so she is chopping up veggies for a salad.
"Britt! Come on!  I need you make the cranberry sauce!" she calls.
I grab a bowl and start on the sauce. Two hours later, pretty much everything is done. It's only about 1:00, but we decide to eat early. We all grab a seat at our tiny table; everyone barely fits. The table is packed with turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, gravy, pumpkin pie, mashed potatoes, and salad.

My mom says a short prayer of Thanksgiving, and then we eat. Now comes the awkward part, conversation.
"So, how is school?" my dad asks me.
"Good," I mumble.
I can't tell him that I am bullied practically every day, and hated by everyone.
"How are your kids doing in school?" asks Mom, graciously taking the attention away from me.
"Great!" brags Susan. "Avery and Jennifer are excelling in school, and have all A's!"
I give a weak smile.
"That's fantastic!" says my mom, avoiding my eyes. "How about Angela?"
"I'm keeping her home until she is old enough for Pre-k. I wouldn't dream of sending my baby to a dirty, unsafe place like that!" she says in disgust.

The conversation between them continues, so instead I watch Dad. He shoves his mouth full of food to avoid conversation, and he looks nervous. He keeps eyeing my mom and his wife in a weird sort of way. I guess this might be just awkward for him as it is for us. Does he feel any guilt? I can only imagine what he is thinking about.

~ Dad's POV ~

I sit awkwardly at the table, shoveling food in my mouth to avoid conversation. I can't help but stare at Susan and Alyssa, my ex wife, wondering if I made the right decision by cheating on her with Susan. I used to be positive that I made the right choice, but now I'm not so sure. Seeing her this time was hard for me. I thought it would be an enjoyable get together, but instead I wonder why I did it. For the first time, I an doubting my decision. The way she smiles shyly at me sends tingles down my spine, and when we touch, sparks fly. But I am married; I am not allowed to fall in love with Alyssa. Besides, we divorced. But when I look at my own wife, why don't I feel nervous? Why doesn't kissing her set fireworks off? When I just brush against Alyssa, sparks fly. But I could never ask for her back, not after what I have done to her. That was so wrong, and she will never fully forgive me for that. I can see the sadness and resentment in her eyes when I look at her. I wonder if she misses me like I miss her.

~ Britt's POV ~

Dad seems to be in a trance- like state. His eyes are glued to Mom, and I hope he feels guilty about what he did. I tune out the conversation between Mom and Susan and inhale my plate of food, and help myself to a second plate. The turkey tastes AMAZING! I wish I could cook as well as Mom does. My mind wanders to Ethan and Grayson. I wonder if Grayson will be ready to beat me up when I go back to school, or if he will really be sorry for what he did and try to play Mr. Nice Guy. Either way, I know I am safe with Ethan.

~ After Dinner ~

After we finish eating, we all help clean up, and then I head up to my room. I collapse onto my bed and open my laptop. I scroll through Tumblr for awhile, and then fall asleep.

When I wake up, it's about 6:00. Susan is in the living room with her kids, and she is reading them some sort of story, but I can't find Mom and Dad. I want to ask Mom if I can go over to see Ethan. I notice the bedroom door is closed, so I open it and gasp in horror. My breath is sucked out of my body, and my heart stops. I feel like I have just been punched in the stomach. Time is frozen, and I can't move or speak. I can only stare. At Mom and Dad.

My dad has my mom pinned to the bed, aggressively kissing her. His tongue is down her throat, and there are hickeys just below her jawbone. My mom is moaning softly as my dad deepens the kiss. He trails kisses down her neck, and then freezes when he sees me. My eyes meet my mom's, and I run. I hear her calling after me, but I don't stop. I sprint out the door, not stopping to grab anything or to see Susan staring at me like I have two heads. I run faster than I ever have, not caring where I end up. I just want to get far away. My vision is clouded by tears that I brush away, but new ones keep forming. I run and run until my lungs burn horribly and my sides cramp, but I don't stop. I need to get away. And never come back.

I dive into the woods beside the road and crash through the brush. Thorns stab my legs, but I am too numb to feel anything. I trample through the forest until I reach a giant rock pile. I pull myself up the rocks, hands shaking and cold sweat running down my back. The icy late November wind bites my cheeks and dyes my nose a shade of light pink, but I don't stop. I am horribly unfit, and my body begs for me to stop, but my emotions are in the drivers seat. Tears run down my cheeks in fountains, chilled by the air. I tear my black skinny jean on the rocks, but I don't stop. Maybe, just maybe, if I run far enough, I can escape forever. Escape the sequence of agony and misery that I call my existence.

I reach the top of the pile and look out. I can see over the top of the trees and into my town. The wind's howl is deafening, and I feel overcome with a tidal wave of vicious emotions. I scream as loud as I possibly can, the sound drown out by the wind. I scream again and again, releasing all my built up emotions with each scream. I scream until I am completely hoarse. I just crumble to my knees and cry until tears won't come and then just lay there sobbing. How could Mom do this? HE CHEATED ON HER! HE DOESN'T LOVE HER! HE IS JUST PLAYING WITH HER HEART ONCE AGAIN! HOW CAN SHE BE SO BLIND?!

I wish Ethan was here to hold me; I crave his gentle, soothing touch that creates sparks between us. I wonder if he can feel them exploding when we are together. But now I am alone, utterly alone. Suddenly, I hear ringing. I dig my hand in my pocket and pull out my phone. I thought I left it at home, but I guess it was in my pocket all along. Ethan is calling me, so I answer.
"Hello?" I croak.
"Brittany? Thank God you answered... Your mom is worried sick about you. Where are you?" he says.
I sigh in relief at the sound of his voice.
"I'm at the big rock pile outside of town, but please don't tell my mom I'm here. Just tell her that you think you know where I might be. Come by yourself; we need to talk."

I hang up and whisper to the wind.
"Why does life hate me?"
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Thanks for 800 reads!! And congrats to daddy_dolans FOR HITTING 1K VIEWS!! Thanks for all your sweet comments; I read and reply to all of them. And now its Christmas break for me, so NEW UPDATES COMING! Ily all!!

-Erica