Chapter 14- Thoughts

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Dear No One,

It's been one day since the encounter with Gray, and I can't sleep. I'm laying here on the night before Thanksgiving, and nothing fill my mind but Grayson. Gray, I feel like you are watching me, begging me with those beautiful eyes. Willing me to feel something toward you.. Something that cuts through the hate I have built up toward you. And the thought of you tortures me. The image of you crying hits me in the heart, and I can't breathe. I am afraid. Afraid of what my heart is telling me every time it thumps in my chest. Afraid of what I feel when I image you. Afraid that I am slowly falling in love with Grayson Dolan. I can't do this. I told you no. I told you I don't feel anything for you. I told you that I love Ethan. But what if Ethan doesn't love me? What if he feels nothing? Emotionless as a rock, watching you kiss me with your soft lips. The thought keep rushing in like tidal waves, and I want to be free of them. I can feel your lips, pinning me against the bed. But then I can feel Ethan, kissing my tears away. The tears that you created Grayson Dolan. I hate that name. Grayson Dolan. Why do you have to play with my feelings?

I think of resting in Gray's arms, but then remember how many girl's hearts he has played with. He is the bad boy of the school. Jumping from girl to girl, telling each how much he loves them, and then getting bored of them. Then, I feel Ethan's secure arms holding me as I cried after Grayson beat me up. He has inflicted so much pain on me. He is not worthy of my love, and yet my heart stirs when I see him. But fireworks went off when Ethan lightly brushed my cheek with a caring kiss. I feel something toward both of them. I wonder if either of them lay awake thinking of me.

-Britt

~Ethan's POV~

A suffocating darkness surrounds me, choking the life out of me. My lungs scream for air, but I can't seem to gulp the air. I stand up and tip toe to my window. I slide it open, and slide out of it using a rope that I keep by my window. I have been doing this since I was 7 or 8, but I have never used my escape because of a girl. I slip out into the cold night air, and sit on the ground. The wind bites my cheeks, and the cold numbs my exposed arms and legs, but I am hardly aware. I keep hearing Britt crying in my head. Her horrific sobs fill my thoughts, and I can't silence them. I can see the tears pouring down her beautiful cheeks, and my heart breaks for her. I love her so much, and I need her to stay with me. I am so angry at Gray for what he did. How can he hurt such a beautiful girl and feel nothing?! Popularity changed him. He is no longer the brother that I shared my childhood with. But why do they hurt her? She has no idea how beautiful she is because she has been told so many times that she is nothing. I wish I could bring myself to tell her how I see her. I wonder if she lays awake thinking of me.

~Grayson's POV~

A girl walks down the hallway, carrying a large stack of books. As she comes closer, her beauty becomes more apparent. Hazel eyes framed with black glasses, hidden behind waves of dark hair capture my attention, and I can't take my eyes off her. A boy appears in front of her, tall and muscular. In one swift motion he knocks her down. His fists slam into her delicate body, and he does not stop until she is laying on the ground sobbing. I feel sick to my stomach. How could anyone hurt such a beautiful, innocent girl? I try to move forward to help her, but my feet feel as if they are glued to the ground. I can only watch in horror as she is hurt more and more. I pull with all my might, and free myself from the ground. I run to see who is hurting her, ready to do to him what he did to her. I come up behind him, and when he turns around, I am shocked to see a reflection of myself, staring into my eyes. His eyes are full of hate and bitterness.

I wake up screaming for her. Tears leak down my cheeks, and soft sobs escape my lips. I hate myself. Why do I do that to her?
"I'm so sorry Britt," I whisper.
"I know my apology is nothing but words to you. Nothing can make up for what I have done to you. I am such a jerk. I cared more about my reputation than you, and now I see how wrong I was," I whimper.
"I love you Brittany Grace," I whisper.
I can't help but wonder if she is awake too, thinking of me.

~Britt's POV~
I pull out my phone and text Ethan.

You awake? -Britt

His respond comes in a few second later

Yup - Ethan

Why aren't you sleeping? -Ethan

Idk.. Just lost in thought. My brain won't turn off -Britt

Same tbh -Ethan

What are you thinking about? - Ethan

Grayson and you -Britt

I'm sorry Britt -Ethan

You didn't do anything, so don't tear yourself apart over it -Britt

But I care about you - Ethan

Thanks :) I needed to hear that - Britt

My heart flutters when I read his text. I can't recall the last time anyone said that to me, and it feels so good to know someone cares. I fall asleep thinking of Ethan.

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700 reads?! Nearly 60 votes?! People actually like this story?! Thank you all SO MUCH this means so much to me. @peanie_005 @denae_razo @DolanOverdose @natashaweber2001 THANK YOU FOR ADDING THIS TO YOU READING LIST ILY!!
See you in the next chapter!

-Erica

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