Credits to tumblr
This is not how I planned it. This is not what I had been dreaming of for years.
I met Johnson in kindergarten, we were good friends and even though we went separate ways we still kept in touch. I was by his side when they got famous, I was their number one fan. We always talked on the phone every once in a while, when he came home we spent a lot of time together and sometimes he invited me to their concerts. He was the most amazing guy I had ever known and I slowly fell in love with him. I couldn't help it, it just happened. And I was hoping he would feel the same, because he always flirted with me, told me how beautiful I was, he just didn't ask me out. I thought that he was just too shy to do it, so I was patiently waiting for him to man up.
And then one night, when he and Gilinsky was home for the week we went out to have a little fun. I was so happy to see him, and I was hoping he would do the first step. I was kind of right, but what came after was devastating.
We drank shots after shots and we ended up in the same cab on our way home. I remember that we were talking about how we missed each other, and then all of a sudden he kissed me hard. We started to make out and when we got to my place he got out with me. He paid the ride and then came inside with me. As soon as the door was closed behind us he attacked my lips again lifting me up into his arms and took me into my bedroom.
I had the most amazing sex ever. He was gentle and caring but passionate at the same time. I was so happy that it finally happened. Touching his skin, feeling his kisses on my neck and my chest, it was perfect. He whispered sweet nothings into my ears the whole time and even though I was still drunk, I remembered every minute of it, and I knew I wouldn't forget it ever.
Feeling his presence next to me made me calm and safe. We slept in the same bed earlier but it was so much better. I could kiss him, I could touch him I felt his hands on my skin, it was a dream came true. I fell asleep in his arms and couldn't help but smile.
The next morning when I woke up he was still there, sleeping like a little kid. His hands were next to his face and he was snoring adorably. I could get used to this view for the rest of my life.
I quietly put on a shirt and tiptoed to the kitchen to make some breakfast for us. When I was done with everything I put the plates on a tray and walked back to the room finding him getting dressed.
"Hey, you are up!" I smiled at him putting the tray down to the desk.
"Yes, and I better be going," he said putting on his jeans.
"I thought we could have breakfast together. Do you have to go to the studio?" I asked sitting down to the edge of the bed watching him. He looked tensed, but I didn't understand why.
He stopped for a minute and stared at me.
"I don't think it would be appropriate for me to stay, Y/N," he said with a serious face.
"Why? I thought that..."
"It was a one night stand, it can't happen again."
His words hurt more than anything. I was numb, I didn't want to believe he said it. I was thinking it was the start of a new chapter in our lives, but I was wrong.
"But Jack, I thought you wanted it," I said with a shaky voice.
"Yes, and it was great, but can't happen again," he said like it was the most natural thing for him.
"No, I... Jack I love you! Please don't do this to me!" Now I was crying. I wanted him to stay and say that he loves me back.
"What?" he looked at me confused. "Y/N, we are friends and nothing more."
"But I want us to be more!" I cried. I felt like I was nothing, the man I loved only used me for a one night stand.
"It wouldn't work! I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way." His apologizing look was the worst. It made me feel like a lost kid. I had the hope that he would love me back for years but now he crushed it in a few minutes. "You are an amazing girl, and I love you, but just as a friend." He sat down next to me and took my hands in his, but I pulled it back. I didn't want him to touch me.
"Friends don't have sex, Jack," I said weakly.
"It was a mistake then, I'm sorry. But I have to go now. Talk to you later."
And with that he was out of my place. I was sitting there in silence for minutes before I could reply to him even if he was far away by that time.
"It wasn't a mistake for me."
