Scallison Oneshots

The Bird's and the Bee's

WHOOO NUMBER 60!!!!!! *coughs*
Ahem, sorry, this is a big moment for me, like, 50 was toats a big deal but like..... 60 MAN!!!!!! WHOOOOO!

Requested by @MadAZ120 who asked for one where Scott and Allison give Chris and Alexis "The Talk" (sorry its short)
________________________________________________________________________________________

(Alexis's POV)

       I sat down in front of my mom with a sigh. It was 8AM on a Saturday morning, what could possibly be this important. I was supposed to be going on a date with Lucas later. I needed my beauty sleep!

   "Okay mom, I love you, like I really do, and you're super bad ass-"

   "Language."

   "-but its eight o'clock on a Saturday morning and I have to have my beauty sleep in order to look my best for my date with Lucas later." I sighed. "So why am I awake right now?"

   "Okay, you're 16 now Alexis..."

       Oh god no, please don't do this to me mom, please, anything but this!

   "And its about time I gave you The Talk." She said sternly. I groaned and leaned back heavily into the couch.

   "Mom, I don't need-"

   "Nonsense. Now, when a man and a woman love each other very much, they decide its time-"

   "Mom!"

   "What?! Alexis Victoria McCall, you better have a damn good reason for interrupting me while I'm trying to give you this important information!" My mom snapped. I get it, she's pregnant again, hormones and all that crap, but she did not have to snap.

   "I get it! When a man and a woman love each other very much, they have sex. Sometimes with a condom, sometimes without. In that case they usually end up one of two ways, pregnant, like you, or with an STD. Mom, I had to take Health twice because Chris failed and didn't want to take it again alone. I know!" I got out.

   "Oh. Well in that case, if I ever find out that you and Lucas are having sex, I'll cut his ball off. Stay safe honey. Enjoy your date, I'm off to have lunch with Lydia now." She said cheerfully before grabbing her jacket and purse and heading out the door. I stared after her in awe, she was amazing, but she was nuts.

(Chris's POV)

      
       "So what's up dad?" I asked as I walked out into the garage. Dad had said he needed to see me, and seeing as how we were out here, I figured we would just be working on the car.

   "We need to have The Talk." He said solemnly. "Your mother is making me." He said softly.

   "Ooookay." I said dragging our the 'O'. I nodded for him to go on.

   "Here's a box of condoms, don't get anyone pregnant." He said as he tossed me a 24 pack box of condoms. I nodded.

   "Alright."

   "Good talk son. Have fun at football practice. See you at the game tonight." He said as he patted my back and pushed me out of the garage door and back into the kitchen. I heard the door close as my dad went back into the garage by himself to work on the car.

       Alexis walked into the kitchen a moment later with an upset look on her face.

   "Dad was so cool with you about that, why couldn't mom be that way with me?" She asked. I laughed.

   "Was she bad?"

   "Brutal... do you think now would be a good time to tell them I'm pregnant?" She asked.

   "YOU'RE WHAT?!"

   "Nope." I laughed.