metanoia - 5SOS

quatorze

brynn

We haven't spoken in four days, or at least had an actual conversation. I just didn't know how to go about these new feelings of mine. The tension was too much for me to handle, so awkward and unnerving. For the rest of the week, I got either Michael or Luke drive me to school. Which just shows how desperate I was. Since I had to ask Luke, and let's just say he made me wait five minutes before exiting the car. It was that bad, so today I was going to force myself to over come it. It only took me till 4 am, to find the courage to talk to Calum.

"Hey Michael, it's me." I smiled, as if he could see it. 

"Brynn, it's four o'clock in the morning." He mumbled into the phone, annoyed as expected.

"It's really important." I whined. If Michael didn't pull through, then I would have to call Luke. I already knew how that conversation would go, actually probably wouldn't even pick up. Michael paused for a second, and I thought he might have fallen back asleep, "Michael!" I yelled into the phone.

"No." He groaned, and I knew he knew. I opened my mouth to say something, but I heard the beep signaling the end of the phone call. Then I had to make a very important decision, did I really want to call Luke? Since there is like a 99% chance, that he is going to say no too. Before I knew it, I taped on his contact, "Hey dude." I smiled friendly, once again as if they could see me.

"Why the hell are you calling me?" He said perplexed. 

"I need a favor." I mumbled, almost scared of his reply. I instantly realized how stupid it was to call Luke. It seemed even ridiculous to call him for a ride, other than school, at any time of the day. That's when I started to imagine myself walking the three miles. 

"Which is?" I didn't think this conversation would get so far, and I wasn't prepared. So I paused for a moment, and thought how I would word my question. If I was going to have any chance of him picking up at four o'clock to take me to Calum's house. Even that sentence was ridiculous. 

"I need a ride." I stammered, and Luke hummed simply acknowledging the sentence, "To Calum's." Then he hummed once again, and I really thought he was thinking about it. Then I heard some movement from the other side, before he sighed. 

"You're lucky that I'm out." I didn't even question it, and I was about to ramble on for a few minutes. On how he saved me from walking three miles, and that I am forever grateful. Instead there was the beep, the phone call had ended. So I used this time I had, to get my thoughts together. I didn't realize till I got the text from Luke, and I was already outside. That Calum was probably sound asleep, but I couldn't sleep till I got somethings off my chest. 

"Thank you." I said genuinely, and Luke simply scoffed. During the short drive, I took the time to study him. His hair was flat, clothes wrinkled, and seemed to almost be falling asleep behind the wheel. He said that he was already out, but he would have never left the house like that. I opened my mouth to point it out, but instead didn't say anything. 

"Get out." He muttered, and unlocked the doors. I rolled my eyes, even in the early hours of the morning he was rude. I got out of the car granting his wishes, and sprinted across the lawn to the gate. It was starting to get light outside, and I didn't need anyone thinking I was robbing the damn house. If I just came at normal hours of the day, I could totally escape this climbing adventure. As I grabbed a hold the gate and pulled myself. I tried to catch my balance, failing. 

"Fuck." I cried out as I hit the ground. This wasn't the first time I did this, but it sure hurt more than the first time. Somehow, Calum had heard me, "Hello?" He whispered yelled from his window. I waved my arm around, "Hello." I spoke weakly. 

"Brynn?" He said in a confused tone, and climbed out the window. Effortlessly, he jumped from the roof to the gate, catching his balance. 

"What the fuck are you doing?" Calum asked furrowing his eyebrows together, and hopped from the gate. I threw my hand up in frustration, "You know just laying on your lawn for fun." I declared as I laid my back on the grass instead of sitting up. He walked over and laid on the grass next to me. We didn't say anything for a second, I was too focused on the pain still coming from all over my body. 

"I need to tell you something." I blurted out and sat up once again. It physically pained me to twist my body to look at him, but I did anyway. Calum sat up, and positioned himself better in front of me. I locked my hands together, starring down to them with nerves. I took a deep breathe before looking up, and meeting his eyes. 

"I just want you to be happy, that's all I've ever wanted." I sighed in defeat and looking back down at my hands. It can only go downhill from here, because I needed to face the facts. We could either stay great friends, or I could admit my feelings here at five o'clock in the morning. I'm only sixteen, and that means this will only end one way. 

"Hey," He smiled, and grabbed my hand, "what's wrong?" He asked sincerely. Loosely I held his hand, and Calum tightened his grip. I looked up and studied his expression for a second, he looked tried but truly worried. His hair was a mess, and his eyes bloodshot. Almost as he hadn't got any sleep for days. I took my empty left hand and used it to run my hand through my hair. 

"Brynn, it's okay. You can tell me." It seemed like he was almost begging for the words to leave my mouth. In that moment, I had a feeling he knew what I was trying to say. Which only bugged me more, since he knew how hard it was for me to say it. 

"I don't want you to think you're some kind of rebound, and you just broke up with Tarin-" Instead of just saying it, I said all the reasons I didn't want to say it. That's when I felt him tighten his grip once again on my hand, and his thumb grazed across my hand.  My heart started racing, and I melted into his trust, "I like you." Once the words came out of my mouth, it seemed like such an easy phrase. 

He just smiled at me, and removed his hand from mine. It felt weird all of a sudden without the warmth of his hand. Calum inched closer, so I could hear his uneven breath. Then using his hand to gently, tilting my jaw towards him. My breath hitched in my throat, and I got an empty feeling in my stomach. 

"You don't know how long, I've wanted to hear that." He whispered with the same smile on his face, before pressing his lips against mine. That's when I felt as if I had finally woken up from an endless sleep.

-

luke 

I don't know what possessed me, to wake up at four o'clock in the morning. Just to drive Brynn to Calum's house, it was literally a five minute drive. She could have walked there in like ten minutes tops. Anyway, I didn't really feel like going home afterwards. So I just drove around for a bit, until I found my way to basically the middle of nowhere. It was becoming light outside, and you could see the sun coming up. I just sat there tapping my palm against the wheel, to whatever was on the radio. At some point, how tired I was hit me. My head started to fall forward and my hands off the steering while, falling into a pleasant sleep. 

An alarm of some kind went off, pulling me from my sleep. Confused by where I was, and not use to my surroundings. I tapped my pockets, and one of them held my phone. I pulled it out, and answered it without checking caller id, "Hello?" I mumbled, clearing my voice after hearing how raspy sounding it was. 

"Luke, I need to talk to you." For a second, I couldn't call fourth who the voice belong too. After a minute or two, I gathered it was Tarin. She sounded a bit upset, and aggravated as usual. I took the phone from my ear, to check the time. It was the afternoon, "When?" I sighed as I dragged my hand down my face.

"Twenty minutes, that one coffee shop." She answered far away, as if she had put the phone down. I rolled my eyes as if she could see them, "Oh of course, that one coffee shop." It caused her to laugh, which annoyed me in a sense.

"The one on main." She explained, and I was about to say another remark. Yet I was too lazy, and was running out of time. Still had to get home, and change. 

"Okay." Then with that I hung up, and put the keys in the ignition. 

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i thought i hated that one chapter i wrote, i hate this one more. SO HAHAHAHAH.