metanoia - 5SOS

trente neuf

b r y n n

The hallways were empty, and people were making their way into a bus or a car. I scan the area for Xander, but he was no where to be seen. It was just the first day of school, where could he have gone? I decide to rummage through my locker instead of looking like a lost puppy. I shuffle around folders and loose papers at the top of my locker, soon causing them to fall. I look side to side to make sure nobody has seen that, or maybe I was waiting for an old someone to come to the rescue like earlier. It was strange that Calum had helped me with my locker, how could he just do it nonchalantly? I couldn't lie, I felt too awkward and uncomfortable to be really close to him, but I've been good at hiding it today, don't know how long I could keep it up though. I check behind me one last time to see if Xander would magically appear, but unfortunately he did not, instead I saw Carter running across the sidewalk. In curiosity I make my way to the front windowed doors, and see her sitting on the bench next to the baby tree. With nothing else to do I walk over to her to see what was wrong.

"Hey Carter." I say waving as she sips her bottled water, but she didn't answer, like she didn't hear me, or she ignored me. I waved my hand in front of her face, a bit annoyed because I wanted her attention. She looks up, but she looked half dead, as if she ran from LA to New York. She took out both of her headphones and attempted to say hi, but it was very breathy. "Why were you running?" I ask taking a seat next to her and pulling out my phone to text Xander once again. "Warming up." She says and takes another sip of her water. I lock my phone and put my full attention back onto her, "For what?" She looks at me and smiles, as if she suddenly got excited. "Cross Country, since Tracks in spring, might as well do something else." She says wiping what I assume sweat off of her forehead. "Wonder if I should try a sport. But I'm not athletic at all." I say as I reach out for her water bottle, giving her the look as if I were asking her with my eyes, and she handed it to me. I waterfall the drink as she just rubs her head in her hands. "It keeps me busy." She says taking her water bottle back.

We sat there for a bit talking about how nonathletic and uneducated I was. When her phone beeped, she looks up at me as if she got a text with bad news that had to do with me. She hurries and types fast and locks her phone. "So why are you still at school? Where's Xander?" She asks as if she had somewhere else to be. I just nod my head and shrug my shoulder, "Hell if I know, he hasn't been answering my texts." I say checking my phone once again. "Do you think-" I try to finish my sentence until I was rudely interrupted with Kylie running into Carter. "What's up Kylie?" She asks as if we weren't in a conversation already. "Come on, Michael, Luke, and I have been waiting in the car for the longest." Kylie blurts out as if she hadn't even seen me sitting there. "Alright, I'll be there in a minute, tell them to calm the hell down and don't rush me." She chuckles as Kylie leaves.

"You gonna be fine with staying here?" She asks as she gets interrupted by the sound of my phone, it was a text from Xander. "I'm fine now, Xander is back, he fell asleep in the nurses office." I laugh to myself lightening the awkward mood in the atmosphere. "Alright, text me." And with that Carter was gone within seconds. The silence out here was killing me, and so was my patients, I just really wanted to go home and Xander was taking ages.

l u k e

My head drops halfway out of the car as Carter opens the door. She chuckles to herself as she motions for me to move over, and I do as she implies, although I don't know why she didn't go through the other side.

Even though it was the end of the day, my blood had still been boiling ever since I talked to Calum. Not only is he stubborn, but he's in denial, and I hate both of those traits. He's my best friend and won't even talk to me about his problems. How does he want to go back to the old Calum? The old Calum would always run to me about Tarin issues, and so on but now it's like he's afraid or something. Honestly if he was acting like I was just another acquaintance of his, like my words were just letters from the alphabet and had no meaning to it, then why the hell should I go on trying to help him? Brynn on the other hand, she's been ignoring just about all of us except for Carter, it's like now that she's not dating Calum and no longer friends with him, we're not friends. Brynn's also been acting a bit stuck up if you ask me, now that she's got her old prince charming is always by her side, wonder if she'll start acting clueless too. All of this tension really did mess with my head, it's all I worry about, and normally I don't give a shit about anything or anyone but myself. I had to get all this mess out of my head before I go insane, I'll just tell myself, I don't care it's their life to live and if they don't want to fix it, that's their problem.