metanoia - 5SOS

vingt et un

l u k e

Calum had just drove off with Brynn in seconds, leaving me in awkward silence with Carter. I turn around to see she didn't look to pleased. I basically let some girl tear apart some friendship I have had with Calum. Before when I took Calums ex's, he would never react like this, guess that means he really likes her. I look at the time, seeing it was about 6:00, so I asked Carter to stay longer. I helped fill her in on who Brynn was, and who she is. I wanted to tell Carter about Tarin as well, but Tarin seemed to be the only girl in track, that actually showed any liking of her, so I decided to keep it to myself for right now. Carter had a harder time socializing, considering she isn't so...social.

"So do you play any sports? Do anything on your free time?" She asks changing the subject. "You've been talking about all these people, who I still yet to know, but you haven't really talked about yourself." She says sitting down on the floor in front of me. I didn't really know what to talk about myself, I really don't do anything. "If you did something, maybe like, a sport, after school activity, a job, etc. It could help get your mind off of all this stuff that's bugging you." She proposes. I took her words into consideration, and thought about it for a second.

"What stuff thats bugging me?" I say stubbornly. "I don't let things get to me." She just chuckled and relaxed her posture. As I was about to say something else, I felt my phone buzz, it was a text from the car company, my car was ready for pick up. "Hey, could we take your car to pick up mine?" I ask, and immediately she smiles and nods as we both make our way out of my room.

b r y n n

After we left Lukes place I decided to go back to Calums place with him to try to calm him down. I tried to cheer him up, but it didn't seem as if he wanted to be bugged about the situation. We sat in his room for a couple minutes, drowning in awkward silence. I placed my hand on his shoulder, but he slowly dipped it out of my reach. "I'm sorry. I just need to clear my mind, I'll drive you home." He says kissing my temple, and grabbing my backpack.

Normally our car rides consisted of massive conversation, or silence because I was sleeping, but instead he turned on the radio for once in his life, probably trying to avoid hearing me speak. I just tilted my head against the window, staring at the different colored cars pass by. My mind starts to stir with different thoughts, I might have made Calum lose his best friend.

-

During school every time we passed up Luke, it was as if he didn't know who we were. I still wanted to be friends with Luke, since I finally came to a point where he didn't hate my guts. Calum had been quiet for half the day, which made everything 10x worse at lunch. I at least expected for him to sit at our table since Michael and Ashton still sat her. I scanned the lunch room, and he was no where to be seen. Calum just played with the food on his tray, Kylie started ranting to me about Carson, and Michael and Ashton just had their own conversation. I miss how Michael and I were so close, but since Luke came along, and basically became my new Michael.

As I was finishing my food, a motion caught my attention. I look up not only to see Luke, but he was with Carter, and they soon met up with Tarin at a small lunch table. To this day, I still have no idea who Carter was, and what her business was. I got up to empty my tray, and made my way to the table Luke was at. I lightly tapped his shoulder and motioned him to follow me, I saw him look up and back down, and soon rise from his seat. I made my way to my locker and soon I saw Luke turn the corner as if he were searching for me. I could feel my smile spread all the way to my ears, until I saw another body come out from behind him, and thats when I felt a bullet go through my stomach, it was Carter.

"Yeah?" Was the only word that left his mouth as he leaned his right shoulder on two lockers away from mine, and his little puppy dog right behind him. He had his bitch face on, something I haven't seen since the last time he tutored me. I couldn't get words out of my mouth, since I wanted to talk about a tiny problem, and the problem was right behind him, well a half of the problem. I had to think of something quick, but I just stood there, staring at him. "What?" He says starting sound a tad bit annoyed.

"I kind of wanted to talk to you alone.." I say awkwardly, motioning my eyes towards Carter. He cocked his head to meet eyes with her, and back at me.

"It's bad enough your boyfriend hates me because of you, I don't need him to see us by ourselves." He rolls his eyes.

"Because of me? What the hell is wrong with you? You are the one who confessed to me, and I just told him." I say in defense, raising my voice from a three to a four.

"They were my feelings Brynn. I told you because I thought I could trust you enough to handle them. I didn't care if you would have taken them, just at least kept them to yourself." He says as if he were a bit hurt, but still trying to stay in character. The bell had rang, and within seconds the two were lost in the crowd, leaving me behind in an ocean of thoughts. I felt a warm hand come in contact with shoulder, I turn around to see Calum, and he was finally smiling. He pulls me into a tight embrace, and smiles down at me.

"Hey, I'm sorry for earlier. I just had to clear my mind." He says. Knowing Calum, when he get mad it takes him a while to think things through until he's back to normal, like nothing ever happened. I cleared what had just happened with Luke off of my mind, and hugged Calum back.

-

After school I noticed Luke had been leaning on the fence towards the football field. I know that his feelings towards me at the moment were probably hatred, I still needed to clear things. As I got closer I noticed that he had been watching the track team warm up, and run. I tapped him on the shoulder which made him flinch a bit. When he turned to meet eyes, he just stared at me with an un pleased face, just like old times, as much as I miss the old times, I didn't feel as comfortable to get those gazes anymore, its like I'm expecting more from him. Instead of jumping into the problem, I decided to start up small talk.

"So, why are you watching the track team? Staring at the girls in shorts?" I joke, which in fact made myself cringe a bit.

"I'm waiting for Carter to finish." He says. The sound of his voice was almost monotone, but not completely. "Can you not get so close? I don't want your boyfriend gripping me up again." He says backing away from me.

"Listen Luke. I had no control over Calum, I just thought he should know." I explain.

"I just thought you should know how I felt, guess we were both wrong." He says with a little bit more color to his voice.

"Luke, pass me a bottle." I heard a voice from over the fence yell. I look over to see Carter running our way. Luke picked up a water bottle that had been leaning on the fence, and gave it to her. One thing I noticed was his expression, one she came he lightened up, but once she runaway, it was the expression of take-me-home.

"Oh, I see." I say with a faded chuckle. He looks over at me confused. "I've been replaced."

"Replaced? Replaced? You make it sound as if we were something Brynn." He argues back.

"No, you just heard it that way. You were once my close friend, and I was yours, but when she came, its as if, I've been replaced." I explain in a lower tone, not even making eye contact anymore.

"Don't blame it on her." He says in her defense, which took me by surprised, "It's my fault..." He says silently, and with that he made his way to the field.

Luke seemed to know that he was one to blame, but didn't want to take the blame. He's regretful that not only did he lose his best friend, but another friend ship that he as well enjoyed, and now everything has crumbled for him, and Carter was there to pick him up, is that why they're so close? As I stood there in silence, I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turn to expect Calum, but instead it was Michael.

"Hey, Calum's staying after for detention, I'll drive you home." He says. I payed no attention to what he said, instead I thought about how Michael was basically me. I ditched Michaels friendship once Luke came into the picture, and Luke basically ditched our friendship once Carter came into the picture.

-

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i count this as a filler chapter

not my best work

i never work best

im a piece of shit

ok peace out