metanoia - 5SOS

quarante et un

l u k e

School had finally ended and I just stood outside, doing what I normally do everyday after school, sit and wait for Carter to get done with cross country. I payed no attention to Brynn and Xander who had been walking around on the track for whatever reason, but it did bug me when Xander kept turning to look at me, as if he thought I was stalking them. Xander was really strange, I have no idea how or why he's living here, and now he's also friends with the weird stoners. As I reach for my phone next to me on the bleacher, I saw the bottom half of someones body take a seat next to me, and the pants look to familiar. I look up to see Calum who wasn't even making eye contact with me, instead he was looking down awkwardly with his hands intertwined with each other. Instead of doing what he expected, which was at least saying something to him, I just continued to grab my phone and ignore him.

"Listen Luke," He started still not making eye contact, so I did the same as well with playing on my phone. "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you guys, I just can't pull myself to you know, be me. Does that make sense?" He tried to put together, I still didn't look up, his words just made me want to push him off of the bench. "No, it doesn't make sense, but when do you ever make sense?" I finally let out, still playing around with my phone. He didn't say anything but make a little sigh sound, and I just sat there paying him no attention. I noticed that he had been playing with his thumbs, it seemed as if he wasn't even too into the conversation, I knew he was forced. "Listen, if you had to be told to come talk to me, then you can just stand up and walk away, I can tell you want to." I say as I put my phone back into my pocket, and finally looking him in his eyes. I honestly didn't want to sit here and listen to a bunch of forced words, so I stood up and started to make my way to the front of the school. What I didn't expect was Calum to grab my wrist as if I was his stubborn girlfriend, which made me cringe as I pull my hand away from his grip.

"Listen Luke, Brynn did tell to me to talk to you, but she didn't tell me what to say to you." He continued, instead of acting like a stubborn girlfriend I finally stand my ground and look at him with an emotionless face. I could tell that Calum felt awkward talking to me, by just his posture, he was all tensed up, as if he was afraid to speak to me. My best friend, afraid to talk to me? "I was to caught up with worrying about me and Brynn, that I just dropped everyone, as if me and her were the only people on Earth." He continued, I started to actually listen as he start to actually explain himself. "What you said to me that day, about how I don't really care about how you are with life and it's just all about me. I never really thought to get into your personal life, because ever since you broke up with Carter, you've kept to yourself." He finished off leaning on the brick patterned wall. I did understand that ever since Carter and I split, I had kept to myself "That's because no one seemed to care. So why try venting to someone who wasn't interested." I say effortlessly while kicking little pebbles. "You don't have to pretend to care, I could care less anymore." I say making my way back to the bleachers, since I really didn't feel like standing.

Calum at first stood behind me instead of following me, as if he were thinking of something, but truthfully, I wanted him to follow me, it's been forever since I've had a full conversation with my best friend. As I go to sit down I hear footsteps clanking against the cold metal, it was Calum. "So aside from all of that, in all seriousness, how are you and Carter? Anything new?" He says resting his arms against his knees. "Nothing to really worry about, nothing to care about." I say pulling my phone out of my pocket. "Mm, so that is something to not care about?" He says, his words first confused me until I noticed I actually had to look up to see where his hand was pointing, it was Carter walking with some sweaty guy, looked familiar, but no one that I personally knew. "You okay?" Calum asks trying to get in my face, but my attention was stuck on who that guy was. "Oh, ok. I get it." Calum chuckles. His laugh caused me to cock my head, giving him a glare. "What do you get?" He just nodded his head as he stood up, "Nothing, I'll text you later, we'll catch up." With that he was half way down the bleachers, and Carter and the random guy were waiting at the bottom of the bleachers for me.