The Outcast

Chapter 10. Linger on My Lips

Tray's POV

I stared at the fire flickering in its cage. I didn't care that I had been sitting here next to it for twelve hours. That's all she ever could be, a flickering flame in a cage.

Malia came in and brought me food. My wolf immediately grew angry at her, I wasn't sure why. He wouldn't talk to me and this is the most I've heard from him.

"Get out." I growled and she froze and narrowed her eyes at me. "What?"

"Get out!" She dropped the plate in her hand and left as my voice boomed through the room.

Tears escaped my eyes as I stared into the fire. My two best friends, my mate. They were gone. They killed her. She's dead.

I'm such a worthless piece of crap, I couldn't even save her. I wasn't even there when she died. I couldn't protect her. What kind of alpha am I?

I'm not. I'm no alpha, I'm just a failure.

I remember the last time I saw her beautiful eyes look at me. My heart broke at the memory. I howled in pain, I needed to let it out. I needed to feel relief but it didn't come. I never woke up from this nightmare.

"Dammit! Dammit it! Dammit!" I threw the plate that was beside me and chucked it at a wall. I watched it break.

I fell back on my knees and sobbed. I was weak for this, but the pain that courses through me was indescribable. It stuck through my heart and dragged it to my stomach, crawled up my throat and comes out with a sob. Then it repeats.

I punched the brick beside the fireplace and noticed my bloody knuckles. The physical pain almost made me forget about my heartache.

I then switched my gaze over to the broken shards of plate.

Don't do it Tray, don't hurt yourself.

I heard her voice and I looked around. "Amelia?" I heard nothing but listened to what I did hear. She wouldn't want me to.

Tomorrow was her funeral, and I kept my promise to burn her. Not cremate, but to lay her body on a bed of flames.

The idea made my heart sink but it's what she wanted. It was perfect for her.

I walked out of my house and saw a man with his mate, walking in the village. They were bickering and smiling. The girl began ranting but the guy stopped her with a kiss.

I felt my heart squeeze, if only I could do that. I now know what it feels like to lose your mate. The idea of a choice mate makes me sick; I don't want to love anyone else. Alpha or not, Amelia was my one and only, but I threw her away.

No one talked to me but I felt their looks of sympathy in my heart, I didn't want sympathy, I wanted Amelia.

My mother was in the kitchen with her head in her hands as I walked in. She looked at me with red, puffy eyes and rushed to hug me. I sobbed on her shoulder knowing she wouldn't judge me. "I miss her mom." She rubbed circles in my back as I sobbed.

"I know honey, I know." I held onto her like it was going to bring Amelia back, like I would get a call saying she's alive, but she's not.

"I don't want to be alone." She nodded in agreement and laid me down on the couch. "Are you hungry?" She asked but she already knew the answer. I shook my head and she nodded.

"Where's dad?" She gulped and told me he was in his office. "I'll go get him." I nodded as she walked toward the door.

Soon she came back with my father who looked just as much of a wreck as I do.

"Son I.." He seemed to choke on his words but I didn't need his apology.

"It's ok dad, you didn't know. I didn't know." My mother held back her tears and I refused to look at her. I couldn't see her in pain. I can't take it right now. She sobbed and walked off to her room.

She knew my pain, she knew that I was hurting.

Even thought these weren't my real parents, I still thought of them as so. Thinking of my real parents made me heart hurt even more, it seems like everyone I love dies.

I wanted to curl into a ball and die with her, Angels like her didn't deserve anything that had happened.

She didn't deserve to be cast out by her own father.

She didn't deserve to be excluded from every pack; homeless.

She didn't deserve to get poisoned by silver.

She didn't deserve to die.

She didn't deserve to be rejected by her mate.

Amelia was an angel that I had in the palm of my hand. I needed her, and I longed for her, but I crushed her. I wore a ring on my finger knowing she was all I needed. I stayed away from her secretly knowing she was dying.

"What kind of person am I?" I shakily whispered to myself. Tears soaked the cushion under my head as the question came out.

Theo, where are you?

I got no answer, as it has been for the past few days.

She's gone, I know you know that. I know you're ignoring me because you're hurting.

I still received no answer and I sighed. I sat there staring at the rug in front of the couch.

I thought about Amelia and a faint smile formed on my lips. She never took anything from anyone, but still respected them. She was sweet, and understanding.

All she ever wanted was to be loved; to be enough.

A silent tear made its way down my cheek, past my nose and onto my lips. I didn't bother moving it, letting the last thought of her linger on my lips.

Letting the last bit of her linger on my lips.