The Outcast

Chapter 4. What's more important?

                            ~Tray~
I held her close and she held me too. My heart picked up and I realized how sick she was, then it sank. I lay her down and leave to talk to my father.

"Cancel the wedding." I demanded and his eyes widened. Everyone was convinced I was in love with Malia, but I'm not. I love Amelia.

"But why?" I huffed and sat down holding my head in my hands.

"Malia is not my mate. I don't love her, I barely even like her. You rushed me into a marriage and I asked her. I found my mate though, and I can't marry Malia." My father smiled, happy for me.

"That's great, I'll cancel it as soon as I can. Who's your mate?" I smiled thinking about her.

"Amelia Collins." My father's smile dropped quickly. "What did you say?" I repeated myself and his face didn't show improvement.

"You're marrying Malia. You will not marry a woman who isn't even a wolf. She's broken every rule there is and I will not let her drag my son and my pack down with her." I wasn't even angry, but my wolf whimpered.

What about mate?
What do you want me to do?

He didn't say anything else, not having any more of an idea than me. I walked out of the office and to the forest.

I transformed and walked with my tail between my legs. Haden tried to wrestle with me but I pushed him off and kept walking into the forest.

I have to reject Amelia or I lose my place as Alpha.

I knew my choice, I couldn't lose the thing that meant the most to me. Something I've wanted my whole life.

~Amelia~
It's been four months since I was rejected by Tray. I still haven't accepted it, or even acknowledged it. I just go about almost forgetting about it, like I never found him. Almost.

I still feel pain every night, slowly I get used to it. I haven't heard from my fox in a month, I don't know if she's depressed or angry with me.

The pain doesn't hurt much anymore, but I've never felt so hollow. My eyes are dull, and I just feel like an empty shell.

I tried to put all my work into the pack to forget about him. I'm at every meeting, every training session, and anything else I can find. Cody and Cheyenne look at me like a lost puppy, but I'm not.

I'm not lost, I'm in my own world.

Everyone seemed to notice that I don't talk much anymore, sometimes I zone out. No one knows about me even finding my mate except Cody and Cheyenne.

When I'm not throwing myself into work, I'm in my old den, hiding. I find myself thinking here a lot. I remember things, dream of things. I think about if he's even thinking about me, if he misses me.

I hope he's happy, he told me he had to worry about his pack, that I should understand. I didn't though, but I do now. I remember him smiling, laughing and I find myself doing the same but whimpering also. I realized I want him to be happy, even if it hurts to not be the reason for his smile.

Suddenly, I caught his scent, for the first time in four months.

Mate!

Oh now she speaks. I hide deeply in the bushes of my den and hope that he can't smell me. I watch his feet and see them stop in front of my den. He walks further away and sits on a rock.

I don't invade his thoughts this time, afraid of what I'll find. I hold my whimper and watch carefully.

This isn't the way I imagined seeing him again. I imagined him smiling, laughing like he always did. He wasn't though, he just stared at a stack of papers rubbing his chin, which had a light scruff. He always did that when he was focused.

He threw the papers into the stream and watched them disappear into the river. He rubbed his face like he was stressed and I figured it was time I left. I went out of my den quietly until I stepped on a twig and it snapped like a bone.

I heard a growl and I froze. My tail to his face, my paw mid step and my eyes shut tightly.

I turned around slowly and when he met my eyes, I felt my heart melt. Something in him softened too but was quickly covered up. I didn't even notice.

"T-Tray?" I asked and he curtly nodded. "Amelia." It hurt, it hurt so bad I tried to walk but I fell.

Tray ran to me and helped me up but I whimpered and cried.

"Just go." I said without thinking. He looked torn, and all I could do was cry.

"Why haven't you accepted it? It would save yourself a lot of pain." Tray said and I finally stopped crying.

"I spent my whole life, being rejected, neglected, thrown away, forbidden. I thought maybe you were different, that maybe for once I would be good enough. I wasn't though, not even for my own mate." I confessed. "At sixteen my own father rejected me. I was his only daughter and he threw me out into the woods. All of my friends were too afraid, so they neglected me. No pack wanted a freak like me. Cheyenne and Cody were all I had. I found you and I thought maybe you could love me too."

I knew he was surprised, the most fearless alpha, the rebel, the outcast, has all these insecurities? Could you blame me though.

"You were good enough Amelia, and I loved you more than I ever could." This confused me.

"I can't accept you're rejection, but if you ever need me for anything, you know where to find me." I said and walked away.

I knew he barely recognized me, I was sick, weak. I had become small and frail like glass, and I had also lost much of my color. I was pale, thin, and so frail I couldn't transform to my fox.

I went back to my camp and laid in my bed, taking all six of my different pills. I had to have a nurse watch me over night, in case anything happened. I saw her come in and I fell asleep.

"Tray?" I asked laying on his chest with his arm around my waist. He hummed back. "What are we going to do?" Tray was confused and moved so he can see me. "Our packs, what do we do?" He thought for a moment, clearly not something that had crossed his mind.

"We can combine them. I can be alpha and you'll, of course, be my Luna. You'll help me with the pack and we'll rule it together." I smiled at his suggestion, he wanted me to be a part of his life. He saw a future with me, and I was relieved I wasn't the only one.

"I love you Tray." I said snuggling up and closing my eyes. "I love you too, sweetie."

"HELP ME!!!!!"