Meadow Valley book series- Everything's changed

Chapter 3: Coping with the loss

     Everything after that moment in the hospital was a bit of a blur to Ana. She couldn't even remember how she got home from the hospital that day. Or what time she got home. In the days to follow Carlos' death, many people would come and go from the Gonzalez's house. After a while it became easy to lose track of who was even there. And when they were there. Ana had felt as if she had exited her body. The person that was in the room with everyone was actually a lifeless robot going through all of the motions for her.

     Family members she hasn't seen in years were now on their front doorstep. Like her mom's parents, siblings and their kids from Kentucky. Ana never met her mother's family before. They didn't have much contact with Lisa's family. Ana thought it was kind of weird that they were all here for them now. She didn't talk to any of them very much, mostly just small chit chat. Then all sorts of people from church came over. That was even more difficult for Ana to handle. It was hard for her to be constantly reminded about losing her father. Everyone was crying and wanting to hug Ana. They keep asking her how she's doing. Ana's youth pastor and his wife told her that they were available for counseling if she ever felt like talking. She didn't feel in need of any counseling. She just wanted to be left alone to be able to go somewhere by herself and just dance. It was extremely frustrating with all the people in the house around the clock for Ana. She had no personal space at all.

"Why do I have to be here anyway?" she thought to herself.

     Ana went to her room and blasted the music very loud in order for her to drown out the voices downstairs. As she tried to imagine herself dancing. Dance was her thing. The only true thing that she had in her life when she felt lost or alone. She could just go and loose herself in some dance. It was her own special way of expressing what she was feeling or going through at that moment. It was difficult for Ana to find a place to be alone. There were always so many people hanging around the house. Ana felt the need to get out all of her frustration. The only way that she knew how to express what she was feeling inside was through her dance.

     Ana never liked to brag about herself but she knew that she was an amazing dancer. As Ana sat on her bed thinking about when she first started to dance, she began to cry.

"She's going to be the best dancer you have ever seen."

     That's what Ana's dad said to her dance teacher on the first day of dance class. At three years old, Ana was full of potential and hope. He carried her in on his shoulders and walked straight over to the teacher and made that simple declaration. "She's going to be the best dancer you have ever seen."

     After a few short years, all Ana's dance teachers started to see the potential she had as a dancer. Carlos had always known that his daughter had great promise and was full of passion for dance. By time Ana was ten years old she had become one of the best dancers at her studio. Her parents had decided to switch her to another dance studio that was well known for training professional dancers. Ana had continued to dance and compete with dance. Carlos had always made sure that Ana had the best opportunity to share her passion and dream for dance. She was well on her way of becoming the best dancer at her new studio. Carlos was at every show and dance performance to show Ana love and support.

     One of Ana's favorite memories was watching the reality TV show "So You Think You Can Dance" with her father. Carlos put dreams in her head that she would be good enough to dance on that TV show someday. Ana's father meant the world to her. She could always count on him to be brutally honest with her about everything.

     Everyone in the studio used to tease and call him a total 'dance dad'. Some girls have 'dance moms' that are overly supportive and aggressive about their child's dance abilities. While Ana had a 'dance dad' who did that and sometimes even more. The love of dance was just something special that they shared with one another. It seemed as if it were just yesterday. It was soon becoming a distant memory for Ana as she sat there crying on her bed even harder.

"I miss you so much papi. What am I going to do without you?" Ana said to herself as she thought about her father.

     This new way of life was going to be difficult for Ana to adjust to. Her mom enjoyed watching her dance but she was more into music and horses. She never really understood Ana's deep desires to be a professional dancer. Not like her father understood. Lisa grew up on a horse ranch in a small country town near Lexington, Kentucky.