The Ringing (Very Slow Updates!)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

**A/N - Ok so I know this chapter is sort of a re-hash but it had to be done, you'll find out why someday... Enjoy! **

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

SHAY'S POV

Last night was interesting... to say the least; I have to admit it was one of the best days of my life and the night didn't turn out to be too shabby either. Sure I never intended to kiss Cale, and even now, I know that it wasn't the best thing to do, but that's not to say that I didn't enjoy it; god the way that man kisses had every one of my nerve endings on edge, all reasonable thought completely forgotten in the few minutes that we embraced. It was also a huge problem, a problem that I needed to nip in the butt before it got out of hand; I could not, I would not, allow myself to fall for him! Fuck, who am I kidding, it was already happening; as much as I wanted to deny it to the ends of the earth, deep inside I know that I'm starting to fall for him. I also know that it could end up in heartache, yet a small part of me doesn't even care; I guess we all have to experience that feeling at some point in time, I just wish that my first time wasn't like this, wasn't here, wasn't with Cale.

Maybe I have a chance of avoiding it at all, maybe my first love could really be my last; fairytales come true sometimes, right? Agh, it's all so confusing; one minute I tell myself that I want nothing to do with the man, that falling in love with him only to be hurt in the end isn't worth it, the next minute I'm willing to risk my heart just to get a few more moments like last night in before my world comes crashing down around me. I guess I only have myself to blame, I was the one who decided that I was ready to open up to him, I was the who decided the risk was worth the possible reward; ok, maybe Liz was a little to blame too, she's always going on about how wrong it is to keep my heart closed off in its cozy little cage, and how I need to open up and live a little, even if I get hurt in the end. Something about living and learning, she speaks in riddles sometimes and it's hard for me to keep up; I know it's crazy that I'm even friends with her, I mean who becomes friends with someone who has the chance of being the reason for their heartbreak, really who does that? I do, that's who, little ole stupid me; can you really blame me though, she's the only person that I can even remotely relate to here, and she has been nothing but a good friend and confidante since the moment I met her.

My thoughts have been jumbled all morning and I couldn't seem to clear my head; between what happened with Cale last night, thinking about my fucked up friendship with Liz and wondering what the hell Sam had planned next, my mind was like a tornado and I couldn't seem to calm it. I had every notion to head down to the little pond after I finished breakfast but luckily Kurt reminded me that I had a sparring session set up with a new trainer that Cale had picked for me; if anything could get my mind out of the gutter it would be a little one on one, hand to hand combat; I still couldn't help but be a little disappointed that it wasn't going to be Tony, no matter how much Cale thought of this female trainer, I know she wouldn't be nearly as tough of an opponent as he was.

Instead of wasting energy on my normal morning run I decided to sit in my room and read for a few hours before my training session; when my mind couldn't focus on the words for more than a few minutes I hopped in the shower instead. The shower didn't take nearly as long as I hoped it would and I found myself pacing back and forth in my room waiting for the minutes to tick by so that I could head over to the gym; that only lasted me about twenty minutes before I felt myself going stir crazy as my mind started racing again, god what the hell is wrong with me? After opening up last night to Cale and sharing that intimate moment in the hot tub with him, it was like the last five weeks have been playing in a loop in my head; I couldn't help but go over every second that I spent with him, analyzing every moment we spent together, if it wasn't Cale that filled my thoughts it was Liz or Sam.