71. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
72. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
73. Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
74. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
75. I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
76. I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
77. I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch.
78. I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
79. Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
80. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
YOU ARE READING
Funny or Die
RandomThe point of this is to make you smile. All I want is a smile on your face princess ^_^ and if it's a guy reading this well..... I just made it awkward (•_•)
