61. We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.
62. Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
63. My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
64. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
65. When in doubt, mumble.
66. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
67. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
68. Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower.
69. A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
70. Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
YOU ARE READING
Funny or Die
RandomThe point of this is to make you smile. All I want is a smile on your face princess ^_^ and if it's a guy reading this well..... I just made it awkward (•_•)
