Music Saves Lives

Chapter Thirty-Three

So this week I've been recording with Simple Plan and it's amazing. It's like a dream come true, but my mind always goes back to Niall. I wonder what he's doing. I wonder if he is thinking about me. Harry had texted me yesterday, asking what was wrong. I told him everything and how I'm not mad at Niall, I'm mad at myself and that I think the both of us need a few days to ourselves.

*So, you guys aren't broken up? Niall, is freaking out and he keeps saying you are, then two seconds later he says you aren't.*

*I hope not. I love him.*

I didn't want to talk about this. I didn't want that to happen. I sat in the recording studio on a couch and started crying all over again.

*Can I call you?*

*k*

I sat with my knees to my chest and answered the call once my phone started ringing.

"Hello?" I sniffled.

"Please don't be crying."

"What do you expect? Should I be laughing and smiling, acting like nothing is wrong?" I coughed.

"He loves you. Don't cry everything will go back to how it was."

"It can't go back to how it was I have to fix myself. I have to stop letting my past be the reason someone cares for me." I sat up when someone in the studio came back from lunch. I smiled at them and went back to listening to Harry.

"He would care for you even if you had the best childhood. Niall is a good guy with a big heart."

"I know, Harry." I sighed. "I have to go. I'm finishing my parts of the song today. I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay (y/n). Just give him a call or something. Bye love."

"Bye." I said, hitting end and going back into the recording booth.

Today, I've been walking around town with Tanner. We went to lunch and went shopping, even though we both hate shopping. I like to think I'm breaking him out of his shell and we are becoming best friends.

"Have you called Niall yet?" he asked as we sat down at the little restaurant to have lunch.

I sighed and looked over the menu. "Why did we have to sit by a window?" I asked, referring to the cameras outside.

"Don't change the subject." He laughed at me.

I took a deep breathe. "No I haven't called him."

"You have to!" he looked up from his menu.

"I know, I will tonight."

The waitress came over and introduced herself. She took our drink and food orders. Tanner and I talked for a while and I knew he was going to ask about Niall.

"I know you miss him. Can you just call him? I'm dying here."

I laughed at his facial expression. "I will! Can we just eat first?"

We ate our lunch and decided to head back to the hotel so I could call Niall. Tanner wanted to be there for me so he came to my room with me. I wasn't really sure what to say to Niall, but I knew I had to be the first one to talk.

I sat down on my bed and Tanner sat across from me in a chair. I took in a long deep breath and hit call. It rang for a while, but he answered right before it was going to go to voicemail.

"Hello." He answered, less sad than what I expected.

"Hi Niall."

"What's going on?"

"I'm calling to apologize. I'm sorry I'm so selfish. You don't have to love me if it's just because of all the shit that happened to me. I don't expect you to pity me. I'm not sure where you're at right now, but I hope we can work this out. I can change."

"Hey, stop it. I was being selfish. I got mad at you for not being able to visit me and that wasn't your fault. I not mad because you wrote a song with an artist you've loved since you were younger and you were just living your dream. Don't let me keep you from that." He paused, and I started to softly cry. "We are fine. I don't want to break up. You must be crazy." He laughed. "I just have to remember I have to share you with the world. You're my first girlfriend since One Direction started and I'm trying to figure things out."

"Good" I left out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry I won't be there on New Year's"

Tanner gave me a confused look and I just shook my head.

"Me too, babe. We'll figure something out. Y'know you didn't say I love you." he said.

"I love you."

He laughed. "No, not now. I mean last time we talked. You didn't end it by saying I love you."

"Oh. I'm sorry, Niall. I do love you."

"I know, it was just weird and scary. I waited for you to call back or something."

I smiled and Tanner smiled too. "I'm sorry. I should have but I was kind of scared." I laughed lightly.

"Why babe?"

"I thought maybe you wouldn't answer and I would be even more upset, but I still should have." I stood up and walked over to the bathroom and shut the door so I had privacy. "Niall."

"Yeah, (y/n)?"

I bite my lip. "I love you."

He laughed. "(y/n) Way to scare me! I thought you were gonna say something bad. Jesus."

I burst out laughing mumbling, "Sorry."

"By the way, jerk. I love you too."

"Niall, I miss you. I love you. I'm really happy we are not fighting. Fucking kills, I swear."

"Hey watch your mouth!" he chuckled. "Hey, Zayn." I heard Niall say.

"Who are you telling to watch their mouth" I heard Zayn laugh.

"(y/n)." I heard them both mumble something.

"Babe, Zayn says hey and also I have to go. Interview." He sighed.

"Awh sad face. Okay. Tanner is waiting for me anyway. I love you." I cooed.

"Oh okay. Tell Tanner I say hi. I love you too. I'll talk to you later or tomorrow."

"Okay, bye." I said, opening the bathroom door.

I hung up my phone and walked into my room and saw Tanner lying on my bed. He stood up and looked at me.

"So?" he held out his arms.

'We're good!" I squealed and hugged him. "We are fine."

I was grinning from ear to ear. "So tell why you won't be seeing him on New Year's?"

I pulled away and sat down on my bed and Tan sat in the chair he was in before.

"I am going to see him, but I'm surprising him. Cliché right?" I laughed. "But I want to surprise him. So, he thinks we are working and doesn't know that because of me recording with Simple Plan we were no longer working. I want to go to London and be with him so bad. I just have to call Harry and make sure they are all going to Liam's party."

"I think it's a good idea. I'm happy I can stay with my family after Christmas. My mom was so pissed." He laughed.

"I know, I can go home for Christmas and then fly to London on New Year's Eve."

So that's what I was going to do. I had to call Harry and tell him the plan and make sure Niall was going and I had to get Liam's address to give the cab driver when I get there. I also had to figure out how I could make sure Niall doesn't find out.

I'm really sorry i haven't updated. I've been kind of depressed lately. I feel weird and sad for no reason at all. I'm not sure when I'll update again and I'm sorry. I will updated. Don't worry. This fic will be completed eventually, I promise.

-Em xx