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Chapter One - Nate

I sat in a room filled with boxes, wishing I were anywhere but here. It was too quiet and I missed the hustle and bustle of New York. The horns blaring and constant straggle of voices helped fill my mind with noise, filling it with the sound of others, their intertwining paths and jumbled converstaions. But, here it was just silence; leaving me empty and in the emptiness the thoughts I hid from could crawl their way straight to the front of my mind. I couldn't breath.

            I'm cold. I don't mean physically cold. Believe me, I won't be needing more that a light layer, ever, here in Hell. I'm cold deep inside. I wasn't always this way, but when they left, something broke inside I suppose. I'm sure this is not the correct way to deal with everything. But then, what is the right way to cope with losing half your family in one fell swoop?

When I say 'cold', I also don't mean I'm especially horrible or cruel. I just don't really care about anything. I've flipped my switch off, rubbed out the edges, disconnected from reality. I'm not particularly nice and I'm not particularly nasty. I just go through the motions and live each day as it comes. Right now however, those blurred edges are beginning to focus. Moving was apparently more of a shock to my system than I'd thought it would be.

I grab my headphones and IPod, shove on some old sneakers, and sprint for the door. The rhythmic tap of my feet hitting asphalt, along side the blaring music, screaming through my ears, help numb my mind and re-blur the unwanted thoughts. Soon It's just me and the road beneath my feet, then just nothing.

I don't know how far I'd gone and I didn't care. I had entered a side pathway at some point and headed into some woods that ran beside the colder-sack of houses. I ran and I ran, and then I ran some more. I pushed my legs until they were as numb as my mind and finally I collapsed falling onto the grassy area that followed the side of my path.

Rolling onto my back I gasped for breath and smiled wide giggling to myself, high on adrenaline, wondering how I'd ever manage to get home with my noodle legs. Perhaps this had been a little much. I gazed up at the tall mahogany-brown trees and watched as thousands of leaves danced in the soft breeze, crackling and whispering the secrets of the wind to each other. The air was filled with sleeping souls and pulsing hearts and as I lay there sinking into the grass. I wished I could stay forever and become a part of the pulse. Birds flew, sizing me up, across the bright blue sky; empty except for one lone cloud. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and then shook my head opening them wide, telling myself to stop being so morbid.

As I continued admire the scenery, I would be now stuck with for the next little while, I heard the tell-tell crunch of feet on the dry leaves stepping closer. I followed the sound with my eyes until a head, leaning over and into my view, caught my breath.  He stood there with sun kissed hair and silver grey eyes, staring. A frown, pulling at his full lips and his defined jaw, peered at me. His head tilted to the side, like a curious puppy, as he examined me. He definitely worked out. A lot. His t-shirt clung tightly to his muscular arms and at my angle; I could see his stomach, slightly clenched, abs clear through the wet fabric. He'd been running too, I realised, seeing his own headphones hanging in his hand. He leaned closer and I looked back to his face, his mouth was moving but I couldn't hear what he was saying. I think he let out a sigh and then he leaned forward tugging the headphones out of my ears. I hadn't even realised the music was still playing; it was simply my mind block.

"Are you okay?" He asked, obviously not for the first time. His voice was deep and he was slightly out of breath from his run. He tilted his head at me again; frown growing. I tilted my head back at him and smiled making his eyebrows go up. "Can you move?" He said slower, now getting concerned; maybe he thought I was some crazy girl. Well, I kind of was today. No, was the answer; I couldn't move right now. I had depleted my energy getting this far. "Can you speak?" I gathered I hadn't answered him out loud yet.