Hide

Chapter Twenty-one - Mother Dearest

As I walk into the house I keep my hands behind my back, hiding my anxiety, my fingers linking together, weaving in and out. I close the door and then turn to face my mother, imagining what it is she wants to say to me.

I don't see the slap come, only feel the sting, the burn. Shock suffocates me.

Why?

I take in a ragged breath, and can smell the stench of alcohol, strong on her breath. Last time I couldn't tell, now I'm sure.

But why? She never drinks.

Her face is close to mine, her rage clear in every feature, but why? What's happened? She didn't act this way even when she found out about the crash. She's always been so collected, even in her misery.

"You think you can go whoring around when I'm away!?" She snarls at me, her words slurred. "You disgust me. Filthy child." I'm confused by her harsh words, she has never used this type of language with me before, never. My eyes blink fast, to keep the tears gathering in my eyes from falling.

Why is she saying this? What is she even talking about?

I want to calm her down. It must be the alcohol. She isn't thinking straight.

"Mu... Mum I..." I stutter.

"Don't call me that! You are not my daughter!" She grips onto my arm, nails piercing my skin. I suck in a breath, but it's not from physical pain, I barely feel that, too distracted by her words. Does she really feel that way? Is that why she's always away? How much has she had to drink? Questions bombard me, never stopping, trying so hard to find reason in whats happening.

"Mum, please. I don't understand." I'm begging her now, pleading with her to stop this. I think she's killing me with these words, I can feel it inside, her words burning. My body is quaking with the force of it all.

"I am not your mother! You are the Devil's spawn; you and your tramp of a sister. You are the poison left by your traitorous father. I wanted to tare you out, but my lover stopped me, wanting you to live." She spits it at me like venom. What does that mean? How can she say that about Kate? My father, her lover? Why is she talking about him like he is two different people?

She's only drunk, she doesn't know what she's saying.

"Mum, wha..."

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT AGAIN!" Her screech makes me flinch back, body huddling together. "My husband excepted you. In time even I cared for you somewhat. He took you in as his own, and what do you do? Your sister kills him." I can't comprehend the things she's telling me. This must be some cruel joke. She's angry for some other reason and the alcohol... the alcohol, yes it's all because of that. But why would she say this? Is there some truth to it all?

No, no, no, no, no.

The picture of him comes to me like a lost child's wish. His smiling face, arms stretched out to me.

Daddy?

But my mother drags me back to her. She continues on, blind to, or ignoring my internal destruction. "Now I find you jumping on boys, exposing yourself to them. You. Disgusting. Filthy. Whore." 

She shoves me once, twice, three times. Until my back whacks against the wall, head connecting hard with the force of it, breaking the glass of a photo frame behind.

I think it may have cut into my head, judging on the spark of slice of pain I feel. I put up no defence, simply stand there. This pain is noting to the emotional turmoil inside. I wish my mind was numb, but I'm not, instead all I feel is the agony, everything seems heightened, crystal clear.

She glances behind me seeing the broken glass and a slow satisfied smile comes onto her face. My lungs close up at her sinister smirk.

"If only it was you along with your sister who had died. Then my husband and I could have been happy. You are just like her, indecent, slutting around with boys, not even caring that the man who raised you was murdered. Well, I wont let your filthy ways destroy me. I must live on for my love. Stay away from me, demon." With that she stumbles away, her final words, the killing blow.

I thought I was broken before. Now I see that was but a crack compared to this.

I am shattered.

__________________

SOOOO DID YOU EXPECT THAT??

OPINIONS??