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Chapter Thirty-Two - Slurping and Decisions

I can feel the soft breeze on my skin so I know I'm outside. I don't quite remember how we go out here but I'm pretty sure we are in garden. The guy, whose name I still don't know is kissing me, everywhere he can reach he's touching, things are getting hot and heavy. I don't know if this is what I want. It feels good, but doesn't at the same time. 

I don't know if this guy, like me, has had too much to drink, but his kissing technique sure does leave a lot to be desired. He's all tongue and slurping action, like he's attempting to suck my lips off my face. Was he this bad when we kissed inside?

His hand runs up my leg, grasping onto my thigh and lifting, pressing himself against me. He groans. I think the alcohol has blocked out too many sensations because I'm not really reacting the same way he is. Why I cant remember his name?

I don't really see why he would want to keep going with this anyway if I'm honest. Its not like I'm being all that responsive anymore. I'm just balanced between him and my back against a wall. He's kissing down my neck one hand up my top at my back and the other still holding my leg up.

Is this really what I want? Was this what I came here for? Making out with some guy, whose name I don't even know. Hidden in the dark, outside some random party. I've been surrounded by people all night, yet somehow I still feel just as alone.

I'm still deciding whether I want to take this further, when the guys suddenly gone. I look around to try and see where he's gone, and am surprised to find him sprawled out on the floor with some muscly guys foot pressing down on his chest. Two other boys are stood there too; one has a hand on the shoulder of the guy whose foot is on the slurper. He's making no real attempt to get up just kind of flapping his hands about the foot, missing the majority of the time I might add. I snicker. I guess my decision of whether or not to continue has been decided.

My laugh brings the attention of the new comers to my face and... Wait. These aren't just any guys, these are my guys.

It's the boys. They're here.

A huge beaming smile fills my face when I see them. I've missed them all so much.

"What are you doing here?" I ask dreamily.

"Shut up, May." Deacon growls angrily, and I jerk my head back hitting it against the wall behind me. I rub at it quickly and duck my head along with hiding my face and how his harsh words wound me. Guess I'm the only one happy to see them.

I start to make my way away from them searching for the door to head back inside. Maybe I can find FeeFee and we can head home, its got to be pretty late by now.

A hand grabs my arm, not too roughly, and makes me turn back to them.

"Where do you think your going right now?" Deacon says angrily. Who the hell does he think he is? Grabbing on to me like that. Suddenly I'm pissed.

"Back inside." I grit out, teeth grinding.

"The hell you are, May." He tells me, pulling at my arm so I move closer to him.

"Why are you even here?" I ask him, attitude lacing my words. He harrumphs and shakes his head.

"Jace heard you were going to be coming, when you and you new friend were gossiping about it in class, and we wanted to keep an eye on you. Glad we did. What the hell were you thinking?" The way he said 'new friend' I could tell he wasn't a fan of FeeFee or maybe he was jealous? Or was that just wishful thinking?

Anyway what the hell was he asking me? Was I not allowed to have fun once in a while. Sure I wasn't exactly enjoying myself right now, but that was his fault.

"I was trying to have fun." I disclose giving him my own growl.

"Yeah fucking in the garden is great fun." He mutters under his breath,but I know he wanted me to hear it. His judgemental attitude cut and I look away. I try to move away from him, embarrassed and ashamed, as I recall what I was doing before they turned up, but I my legs get caught on each other and I stumble. He catches me, before I face plant.

"Okay guys lets calm down." Jace soothes, stepping closer. His and Nate have been standing at the side-lines watching our back and forth.

"May come on your too drunk." He lifts me over his shoulder. I let out a little yelp and the suddenness off his action but I don't resist anymore. I do want to leave. I'm tired and even with the drinking and the games and the distractions, this night really hasn't been what I wanted.

We reach the car and Nate silently opens the door and helps Jace slide me in, before moving in next to me. I don't like how quiet he's being. Nate is never this silent. As we drive I stare out the window, pretending to be asleep. The others are mumbling about something but I block them out and instead focus on the shapes outside. I don't think we are headed in the direction of my house, not recognising where we are headed right now. I don't voice this, however, not wanting them to know I'm awake.

After a while of driving I'm still unsure of where we are. "Where are we going?" I wonder quietly out loud.

"My house." Nate mutters, and I realise how close he's sitting. I look closely at his face, lights and shadows passing over his intense stare as the care moves.

I feel awkward and turn back to the window but I can see him looking at me in the reflexion of the window.

He touches the back of my head and I flinch at the spark of pain, it was over one of the cuts from when my mother pushed me into the photo frame, made worse by the stupid whack I gave myself at the party.

"What?" He says startled, hand in the air, eyes worried.

"Nothing. I just hit my head is all."

"What? Did that guy... Did he hurt you?" Anger building at the idea.

"No, he didn't hurt me." I say pushing at his arms and moving away.

Again we fall into silence, the atmosphere going sour at my standoffishness. I'm an idiot. I glare out the window, hating myself, and my actions. My eyes start to droop and soon I pass out.

Someone lifts me and I can feel myself moving in the air. A chill goes through me and I snuggle into warmth, finding an escape. 

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