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Chapter Twenty-Five - Family of One

At the end of the lesson I grab hold of FeeFee, and pull her out the room with me, escaping Jace once again. 

"Whoa! Eager much?" FeeFee yells at me, but lets me move her along with me. "Trying to avoid someone?" She adds, knowing smirk in place.

"Know any parties happening soon?" I ask her, eager to get her mind on other things.

Her brows shoot up and then a slow smile makes it way onto her face. "May wants to party?" Her voice was filled with mischief, and I roll my eyes at her. "Give me your phone and I'll let you know what I can find." She told me winking. She quickly typed in her number and then turned away, hips swishing.

My next class seems like its going to be pretty uneventful. We just having to read through chapters of The Catcher in the Rye, and plan out some of our self‐initiated research. It's nice not to have anyone bothering me here, I can focus purely on the assigned tasks.

I've already read The Catcher in the Rye a few times so I scan the options for the research. We have to pick a topic about the world today, about life, about people, that we would be interested in, and write a 5000 word piece based around it. The options are;

1. Health and Fitness

2. Alienation because of Gender, Race, Class, etc.

3. Love

4. American Values and Beliefs

5. Social Activism

6. Family Relationships

7. Freedom

8. Happiness

9. Technology

10. Nature

11. Money

12. Death

I think about staying safe an writing about Technology or Money, but my eyes get stuck on other subjects; Family Relationships, Happiness, Freedom, Love, Death. My eyes flick back and forth between them and I grip the edges of my desk tightly. I swear it's like they are deliberately trying to make things difficult for me.

I suddenly wish I had some other thing to concentrate on, other than the usually reliable school work. I grind my teeth, pick up a pen and write.

What is Family? Is it the place you have that makes you feel safe, loved, free, happy? Mine isn't. Mine is filled with the memory of death, decay. HATE. IMPRISIONMENT. DISPAIR. These are the words that come to mind when I think of Family. DEATH. DEATH. DEATH.

I want Freedom; yet the chains of my loss shackle me, freeze me to forever remember that they are gone.

I want to be happy; yet how can I truly smile when I know I will never feel their touch upon my skin again.

I want to be loved; yet

I squeeze my eyes tight and push hard onto the paper in front of me, lost in the abyss of my mind. The feeble plastic threatens to snap, along with my control. I take a deep breath and continue on.

I want to be loved; yet how can anyone love someone, when not even their own mother loves them?

I want family; yet I am all that is left. How can you be a family when you are Alone?

I am a family of one.

I sit there feeling the hollowness of my words, in the silence of the room. But then the alarm bellows out, allowing me to forget the problems I keep trying to leave at home.

Home.

I don't like how cynical I'm becoming. It's not healthy.

Healthy.

Uhg, I need to stop. I shake my head, to chase away the thoughts and cram my book, deep, back into bag. Next is self study, but I think I'll use it to run. A good run will help.

As I walk, I check my phone and see a text.

FEEFEE: SORTED. PARTY FRI NIGHT. ILL SEND THE ADRESS LATER. YOU ARE WELCOME. X

That girl works quick. Its still not until the end of the week, I've still got three days to get through before then. Quickening my pace I head to the Track.

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HOPE YOU LIKED THE NEW CHAPTER!!!

HOW ARE WE FEELING ABOUT THE STORY SO FAR? I KNOW ITS A TAD DEPRESSING AT THE MOMENT!! MAY'S LIFE HAS DEFIANTLY TAKEN ITS HITS.

HOW HAVE YOUR WEEKENDS BEEN MY LOVELY'S??

PERSONALLY, I'VE HAD A GREAT TIME PLAYING SPIES WITH MY LITTLE BROTHER ;9 HAHA

PLUS WRITING THIS OF COURSE ;)

NEXT CHAPTER OUT SOON!! ;)