Tonight is Friday, tonight I go to the party. Even if I were to forget, one bubbly girl sure is reminding me. We're sat in AP History and FeeFee wont stop talking about it.
"Oh my gawd." She squeals, enthusiasticly. "I am so fricking excited! I can't wait to get you into a dress, spice up your make-up." She looks me up and down, predatorily, and rubs her hands in glee. "I'm going to make you the hottest thing at that party! Not that I'll have to work that hard, but girl, you don't exactly work it. I mean you have the body, you have the face, but your just like blah, I don't care. I mean, at least put some product into your hair." She blabbers on, rolling her eyes.
I think I should probably be offended right now, but this is kind of what I've gotten used to with FeeFee. She doesn't even mean it to be hurtful, or vicious, or anything, but more of a 'for the greater good of fashion', or something like that.
"Ohhhh, I'm being bitchy again. Dammit, I'm trying to work on that. Next time just whack me in the arm or something." She laughs, joking but also fully intending to get thumped by me.
"Right so, you come to mine and we can get ready with my friend, Aisha. Everyone's going to be at this thing so we have to be on our 'A' game, girl." She giggles, completely focussed onto this event. How I wish I could only have simple worries like how I looked at some party.
She's not exactly speaking in a hushed tone, so, I'm pretty sure, everyone in the room knows where we'll be tonight. I sigh.
I just watch her wiggle around on her chair, hands in the air, half paying attention, the other half of me automatically thinks to Jace, sitting in the back of the room. He's left me alone since our talk. So have the other boys. I should be glad, after all its what I'd planned, in a way, but I'm not. I hate it. I hate not talking to them.
I wanted to be away from people that could hurt me, but this is worse. It's weird how I've slipped into this routine, hanging out with FeeFee, bantering with Tony. I'm not lying to any of them, yet somehow I feel so fake; Living a life that's not my own.
FeeFee wants me to stay with her and her friends at lunch, but I choose to go for a run instead. Now the boys are giving me my space, I don't have to worry about bumping into Nate.
The run might not give me the same satisfaction it used to, but I've had time in the last few days to begin to manage my feelings, somewhat. At least now I know that the people I spend my time with have no idea of what I've been through and therefore, don't ask what's going on now; at least that's what I tell myself. I still feel alone, but I continuously tell myself its all necessary.
It's strange, as well as painful, how easily the boys and I have stopped talking, like it didn't really mean anything to begin with. Maybe I imagined it all; the smiles, the fun, the laughter. Why can't I just stop thinking about them?
Tonight I can let loose, go a little crazy, even. Forget it all. Tonight I will have some fun.
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NEXT CHAPTER IS GETTING READY AND THEN THE PARTY!!!!
DON"T MISS IT!! IT'LL CERTAINLY BE EVENTFUL ;)
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Teen FictionSometimes no matter how hard you try, you just can't escape. That one person will always find you, no matter where you hide. After, you cant run from yourself. --------------------- May has lost both her sister, and her dad. She's managed to dist...
