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Chapter Twenty-Six - Rejected

Run finished, and not long before I have to get to AP Maths now, having run through Lunch as well as self-study, I sit on a bench. Mind spinning, unable to stop thinking. I wait for my breathing to calm. I don't know if I feel better or not, everything has become so jaded. 

I put my head between my legs, gripping my hair in fists, and let out a half sob, half pained scream. I feel so lost. Why don't I feel numb? I'm so damaged, but I'm not numb. I can't stop the emotions from bombarding me; my shields wont go up, broken into pieces. My run has almost done the opposite that it usually does.

I feel everything.

"May?" Nate's voice was tense, whispered. It startles me. I didn't think anyone else was here.

I look up at him, but its almost like I don't really see him. Nate. He's so good and sweet, so constant. His sun kissed hair blowing in the wind, firm muscled body now close to mine, as he crouches in front of me. There's an anxious frown on his face as he watches me.

I grab his top and yank him to me, smashing his lips to mine. At first he doesn't respond but then he's kissing me back. I feel like I'm possessed; grabbing, panting, sucking, biting.

I'm consumed completely by the feel of his touch. This is it. I feel hot and intense. It's a good feeling. I groan into his mouth in relief. Finally I can breathe.

He puts his hands on my shoulders, squeezing, but instead of pulling me to him, he's pushing me softy off. He takes a steadying breath, searching my eyes with confusion. That looks makes me uncomfortable, and I'm embarrassed.

He's rejecting me. I'm unwanted. Again. The look on his face is clear. He is stopping whatever this, thing, was. Honestly, I'm mortified. I don't even know what I was thinking. Nothing I'm doing makes sense, right now. It's all so pathetic.

"What's wrong, May?" He holds my face in his hands, as if he hasn't just pushed me off him.

I need to leave.

His rejection is confirmation that he doesn't want me either. I was concentrating so hard on avoiding Jace, I'd forgotten about Nate.

I quickly stand, making him stumble back a bit in surprise.

"May?"

I realise I haven't said a word the whole time he's been here. What am I meant to say right now though? Sorry about practically attacking you just now?

"Sorry." I mumble at him, stepping back, wanting distance. Hell, I want to sprint away.

"What? May..."

"I've got to go." I say, increasing the distance between us.

"Wait." He shouts out, but I'm already gone.

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SOOOOO THAT JUST HAPPENED ;9

SPENT TODAY PLANNING OUT MY NEXT FEW CHAPTERS!!!!

WILL POP THEM UP AS SOON AS THEY ARE DONE ;)