365 Days (Part 1) | ✓

43. The Sound of Silence

43. The Sound of Silence: Write about staying quiet when you feel like shouting.

There are so many words I want to say to you.

I didn't even say that. I could just stare: not with my eyes, but with every word I wanted to give him. Thrust at him. Shove at him. My eyes drifted from his, because they could not bear to face the knowledge that he, a man I loved, stood in front of me.
It was just the words, the unspoken accusations that looked at him. Looked at me.

I wanted to touch her, but I could not, not without the words that had to be spoken. They struggled within me, love and pride, representatives of what I felt for her and who I was.

The words die in my soul even as they exist. I need to know who you have been when I am gone. Please tell me, oh darling, where have you gone? I cannot ask, I cannot utter the words. Please, tell me. What are you when you are not you as I know you?

If I step toward her, do I step toward the girl I know or do I shove away who she has become? She looks away, she is away. Come to me, the best part of myself, come to me. She wants me away, and I am afraid of how she will hurt me if I get too close.

Don't break my heart. Don't break me. You are me. If I am without you where will I be? I will be lost and never found.

You brought me to the light. Will you now leave me to the darkness? I cannot exist there. I cannot survive without you. Oh, love, don't go.

How dare you? I know you won't leave, as badly as I treat you out of anger. So how dare you? How dare you make me be the one who leaves?

I promised you forever. I won't leave, I will not break this. I won't be the one to give up. I know I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done it... but I am not going to leave. I will stay. Will you? Tell me, look at me. Will you leave me?

You are the one who ruined this.

You will be the one to destroy us, because I won't leave.

I want to speak. I cannot speak.

I should speak. I don't want to.

Say something.

Do something.

What will I say?

What will I do?

Don't reach for me. I am not here. I am somewhere above the clouds, trying to find a place where I can find myself.

She has left already. The drops of Jupiter are already in her hair, dew clingling to her eyelashes. Look at me.

Will you follow me?

Will you come to me?

I am going.

I am staying.

I will love him. Love in the way that keeps itself on your mind. Oh, love, love, won't you tell me you feel the same way? Will I never receive that from you?

I have loved her. Every step of the way. All-consuming. All you have to do is lift your face. I just need to see your face. Show me you love me. Do you?

*

"I am going."

It was not what he wanted.

He tried to stop her.

It was not what she wanted.