WT1| Trouble - 08

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"The fear of losing someone

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"The fear of losing someone."

       Weeks after weeks until the weeks were just days, Rei was getting bigger and being kidnapped didn't feel like it anymore

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      Weeks after weeks until the weeks were just days, Rei was getting bigger and being kidnapped didn't feel like it anymore. Crawls were baby steps and those same steps encouraged her to run. Terri felt forgotten even though I thought about her everyday.

I woke up, went to work at my new job, came home, studied for school, and dedicated my day to Rei. It was like living a "normal" life if I had even known what that felt like anymore.

Maybe I had been free all along and just felt kidnapped.

Lyah was fun opposed to what I had thought in the beginning. She played with Rei and took us out whenever she felt we hadn't been out in a while. She kept us laughing and playing. Soon, I forgot who Wyn was. He didn't come to see us anymore. I saw him around but he pretended he didn't know me, and it hurt.

For the first time in a long time, I was hurt. Or maybe I had been hurt this whole time and didn't realize it until he walked straight pass me, acting if I was no one or nothing. Maybe I wasn't anyone or anything to him but damn.

Rei and Lyah were my distractions. They kept me happy when I felt sad and laughing when I wanted to scream. I missed Chris, I thought about him so often and my dreams revolved completely around him.

And then I found myself missing Wyn, I figured I never liked him, I was just use to him. That was my excuse because I didn't actually know him. And if for a minute I could know what he was thinking or what he felt, maybe then I'd understand why he was doing what he was doing.

Until then, I didn't.

"Mama." Rei was calling me and sometimes it excited me more than it hurt me.

"What?" I asked, knowing it was just her wanting to get out of her playpen.

"Uppy." She said holding her arms out. I ignored her and continued to cook. "Maaaaa! Uppy!"

She was trapped in the living room with cartoons blasting. My school semester was up and I was more dedicated to work and Rei. I even occasionally went out if Lyah watched the baby. I never seen Wyn though so I stopped looking for him.

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