Those Little Things

Chapter 10

I sat up, leaning against my headboard. Louis walked over to join me on the bed.
"Louis, why are you doing this?"
"Doing what?"
"You know what! You keep stopping me and Niall from going any further!"
"You can't pretend that everything that went on between us never happened!"
"I can and I will! You just watch!"
"Isabelle, we grew up next door to each other. We were each others' first everything! Kiss, make out session, oral jobs, sex, everything! You can't pretend that never happened! And what about your age? You're not turning 20! You're turning 22, just like I am! What's up with all of these lies?! Are you ashamed of ever being with me?!"
"I'm not ashamed. It's just..."
"It's just what?"
"I want to have so much more in common with Niall than I do!"
"But you don't love him! You love me! I was your first time. I'm the one who took your virginity." He started playing with my hair. I'm so not enjoying this throw back!
"But the way you did it was not the way I would have ever imagined it! You were horny so you said we were going to do it! I was 15! 15, Louis! I wasn't ready! I wasn't prepared for any of the consequences that came along with it!"
"Oh, yeah? Like what?"
"The fact that I got pregnant!"
"What?! You were pregnant?!"
"Yes. I went to the doctor and they said I miscarried. I went through so much pain so you could get what you wanted! All you ever do is think about yourself! I hated that I almost ended up a teen mom! I want kids in the future... But not at 15! My miscarriage was the most painful thing that I ever experienced in my life! So much pain for something that didn't get to stay! So much pain from something I didn't want to do! I would love to have my virginity back so I could share it with someone that I actually love and someone who actually loves me! Not someone who will get what they want and never talk to me again! Not someone who will stop me from ever being happy again!"
"I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you weren't ready..."
"Oh, sure! Me screaming 'Louis, stop! I'm not ready!' wasn't enough?"
"I was a teenager! I didn't think about anything!"
"Exactly! You didn't think of anything unless it was you getting what you wanted! Just leave me alone and let me be happy! I'm so tired of you butting into our conversations and our time! I need my space!"
"But don't you find it weird that your parents are getting married to each other and you're going to be step spouses? And the fact that you have to lie about your entire life?"
"You mean something that I was forced into? Something that I wish I stood my ground for? Yeah! I'm going to keep that a secret!"
"What about your age? You don't have to lie about that! Why don't you tell him one ounce of the truth?"
"Because I don't want him to know that I was ever involved in any of your games and that I'm even closer to your age than I want to be! That's why!"
"Whatever!" He stood up and opened the door. Niall was passed out on the ground and Harry was smacking his face trying to wake him up. Liam looked at Louis then at me in disbelief. I really blew this one! How the hell am I going to fix it?!