Lost In Love (vol. 1)

I Don't Want To Live Without You

"When you love someone - you'll sacrifice
You'd give it everything you got and you won't think twice
You'd risk it all - no matter what may come
When you love someone."

- When You Love Someone, BRYAN ADAMS

The blood is still pumping.

The first thing Greyson registered after the shock of seeing Nate laying on the floor was the flow of his blood pumping from his arms; not small, inconsequential horizontal cuts across his wrists – but long jagged gashes straight down his arm. The kid hadn't been playing.

The blood was still moving – which meant his heart was still beating. Once his heart stopped, so would the blood flow, and it would begin to coagulate.

But it's still moving.

The amount of blood on the floor, though, frightened Greyson. Nate could still go into cardiac arrest. Greyson stepped back quick when the doctor overseeing Nate barked orders at the nurses to position the gurney. Two male nurses helped the doctor lift Nate's body onto the gurney and, in seconds, they were gone, rushing him to surgery.

Greyson stood frozen in place, staring at the bloody outline on the bathroom floor, the shards of broken glass swimming in the crimson fluids. His hands shook as he raked them up over his head.

"I found this." The nurse said, startling Greyson.

He swallowed thickly and looked at her. She held Nate's cell phone in her hand. His brow pinched as he took it from her. The alarm had been set, due to go off in fifteen more minutes.

"What happened?" He whispered then looked at the nurse.

"I heard glass break." She said. "When I knocked on the door, no one answered. The door was locked. I got one of the male nurses and he forced the door open and..." She shuddered, her lips tight. "And we found him...on the floor...arms...cut open. And that...that note on his shirt." Her eyes glistened. "What did it mean? What's now an option?"

Greyson shook his head slowly. He turned off the alarm on the phone. Nate hadn't meant for anyone to find him until the alarm went off. Somehow he knew approximately how long it would take for him bleed to death. He wanted to be found in time for his heart to still be useful to Kyle...but not soon enough to save Nate himself.

Tears burned. "Nothing." He whispered tightly then stuffed the phone in his pocket. "Let me know the second he's out of surgery."

"Yes, doctor." The nurse said softly.

Greyson walked back down the corridor towards the waiting room. How the hell was he supposed to tell Janice about this? What the fuck was Nate thinking? But then he knew, of course. Nate's only thoughts were of saving Kyle's life. Greyson would have given up any part of himself to save Ian – without thinking twice. He understood Nate's logic, as radical as it might seem.

Understood it far too well.

* * *

Was this hell?

Darkness surrounded him, pulsated and pumped like the beat of a heart. But not his heart. It couldn't be his heart. He'd given his away.

It felt like the dream he'd had of Kyle lost in the darkness. But this wasn't a dream...was it? He was dead. He had to be. If he wasn't...then Kyle soon would be.

He could hear voices, but from a great distance away. Crying. Wailing. Was this hell? Was this his reward for giving his life to save another human being?