Ross You're What?!

Doctor

Ross Pov

I felt Max squeeze my shoulders reassuringly, but that's about it he's really nervous too. Like a fish out of water, a ginger fish out of the water of manhood. Then again when sitting in a waiting room covered in Elmo and Umi Zoomi pictures, can make you think about how it would be like having a kid. Then remembering watching the pregnancy video in eighth grade, and being extremely thankful that I was a man.

Then learning about this. A lot of 'this leads to that' moments that make me realize one thing, this is going to suck really bad. I was forced to wear a beanie this morning to keep my unruly hair in check, as much as I love it it's going to be the death of me.

 Not the baby.

 But the hair.

 I snorted, Max was watching SpongeBob, not that I was surprised as much as he will deny it he loves old cartoons. The man at the front desk looked confused when we told him that we were having a checkup for an embryo, at this point I'm considering recording me telling people about AMH. That would really make my life easier, and then the guys at the office have no idea, aside from Barney. So they think we're getting at it today, we called in for our two year anniversary just in case those test were wrong.

"Ross?" a nurse asked poking her head into the waiting room I stood up tugging on Max. I was able to get up faster than usual since my nausea hasn't been back in a while, it was great being able to keep breakfast in me. I walked behind the raven haired nurse as she walked through the maze that was the hospital, I worked at a hospital and all, but I stuck to my section. How she managed to not get lost, I will never know.

"Here we are, "she said opening a door "please take a seat. Dr. Calico will be with you shortly" I smiled at the nurse who smiled back and left the room. The room was so white I was tempted to yell AMEN BROTHERS and I think I just made like half of heaven mad. Well I know where I'm going when I'm dead. The room its self wasn't as impressive as you would think, no bright overhead light for surgery a few machines sat around a white chair, it looked a lot like the ones you would sit in at the dentist.

 Just don't remember those cavities Ross.

Max was absently looking at a pregnancy poster, he wasn't even reading it he was just trying to distract himself. I wrapped my arms around his waist resting my chin on his shoulder "nervous yet?" I asked squeezing him a little, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. I kissed his cheek and walked over to the chair, feeling Max's eyes watching me I swayed teasingly.

 I heard him suppress some type of animalist growl, one damn furry video and he makes those noises when I tease him. I feel his arms wrap around my waist and rest on my expanding belly, making me jump he's really quite. He really needs to give me a warning next time, or I might elbow him in his nuts, or worse.

"how are you faring?" he asked nuzzling my neck, damnit I need to stop telling him what I like, because that's all he does. Is nuzzle my neck, it still makes me turn into jelly, but it would be nice if he stopped exposing my weakness. He's still nuzzling my neck I swear if he does what I think he is-

"staph" I squeaked a few octaves higher than I wanted, he just lick my neck. Asshole. I told him to keep it in the bedroom, and then he does in a public building.

"Answer me" he said licking again, I jumped this time nearly flipping him over my shoulder.(He made me take self-defense classes) I need to A. put a bell on him and B. tell him to never to that again.

"I feel like the baby is kicking up the ashes of a nervous fire" I grumbled pushing him away from my neck, he frowned and pouted like a child, thrusting his bottom lip out and everything. I waggled my finger at him like a scolding parent, despite him still being taller than me. I couldn't keep up the character and burst out laughing, Max broke character too and laughed with me. Im pretty sure the baby was too, I swear I could feel him kick, but that might have been from how hard I was laughing.

"We need to keep you away from poetry" Max gasped doubled over still trying to recover from his laughter, I snorted and crossed my arms. He nudged me with his elbow.

 I held my hand to his face "If you want it then you better put a ring on it" I said he turned tomato red, satisfied with my work I sat down in the chair.

"Hey, hey Max" I said beckoning him over,

 "What?" he asked squatting down to my level.

The-feeling-that-you're-short intensifies.

 I point at a picture of an ultra sound on the wall "look at that ultra sound~" I sang in my best Earl Nickelback impression, he said something along the lines of 'goddamn it Ross' but he was laughing too hard to tell.

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything" Dr. Calico asked from the doorway he had to be in his forties, he had this twinkle of mischief in his eyes and a kind smile. He reminded me of someone, just can't put my finger on it...

"Just me making fun of his taste in music" I said, he elbowed me in the ribs "Watch the mother!" I said trying to sound astonished that he would do such a thing. Max grinned and rolled his eyes.

 "Ah so we have a child in here?" Dr. Calico asked touching my belly with a gentle prod "And please call me Andrew. How long have you been pregnant ma'am?" He asked grabbing disinfectant wipes off the counter and was cleaning tool. Or was it called sterilizing his tools? I don't know anymore.

 "Well, I'm a hundred percent male, and maybe two to three months?" I said somewhat annoyed that I would have to tell him about-

"Ah, You're that Ross? The one with AMH?" He asked putting the wipes away, I nodded in shock that someone finally understood what was going on. He chuckled "Well I remember that surgery well. You were out like a light" He said screwing something onto another thing. Wait what?! He was there for my first surgery? In New York? Oh, that's why he looks so familiar! He was the doctor that did the operation, I faintly remember him talking about a change of scenery and a job offering across country.

Then again I was so heavily drugged I'm surprised I remembered him at all.

 Andrew smiled and opened a container of a gel like substance "Excuse me Ross but we're going to take a ultra sound, to check how far you are into pregnancy." I pulled up my shirt so he could rub the gel, at least it's warm. "I'm going to rub this over your stomach" He said carefully making the device move around my belly. Max was transfixed on a large screen that projected the scan, Andrew frowned and continued to scribble on his clipboard.

  "So do you want the bad news first or the good news?" he asked tucking the clipboard under his arm

"Bad" Max said wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

Andrew sighed and rubbed his neck, "you're not having a child". I felt my world shatter, I've barley know that I was pregnant for more than three days, but this was my child.

 "But the good news is you're having triplets" he said an uncontrollable smile on his face.

 Fucking Troll.

Then it hit me, Triplets? As in three children? I have to give birth to three children?

Max just voiced my opinions out loud "We're having WHAT?!"