Ross You're What?!

Flares

Matthews Pov

Did you lose what won't return?

There has been a moment in every eight year old life, when they look up to the great dark abyss that we float in. Wide eyes filled with innocence searching the glowing orbs that peppered the void, searching for something to explain what they can't themselves.

Did you love but never learn?

For every nine year old, there's a crushing reality that not everything is going to be okay. That mommy and daddy won't be around to pack lunch for you everyday, and that they are so deeply grooved with their flaws that they can feel the coarseness of their own begin to make its mark on them.

The fire's out but still it burns

For every ten year old there's a release, and acceptance. Acceptance that no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you work for your goals. You will never be anything important, you will never change the world. You are as useless to the world as your parents, and theirs before them.

And no one cares, there's no one there

The unconscious acceptance that if you died at that very second, nothing would change. There wouldn't be a big memorial, no big call to attention. That you simply stop existing.

Did you find it hard to breathe?

There are the ones who have felt the heat of hells fire licking at their heels early, and the burns left over cloud their mind when they leave the conscious world into one that only imaginations can tinker with.

Did you cry so much that you could barely see?

And yet we try, we try so hard to be something, someone. When we all know that's it's useless, futile even. We will never be important, you will never be special, and I will never have missed the kiss of the moonlight as the abyss hangs over my head.

You're in the darkness all alone

Every eleven year old looks up into the abyss, heart hardened by hardships seemingly so small, so insignificant. And yet, their fragile hearts have been shattered, beaten and bruised. They learn to be strong, to keep what they need close to themselves, they learn to distrust.

And no one cares, there's no one there

Every twelve year old feels pangs of loss, the stabbing feeling that rips your heart out of your chest. The pain that makes you want to rip your throat out so you could stop screaming and crying, because you don't want to feel anything.

But did you see the flares in the sky?

The abyss above me hanging in the sky like a chandelier with millions of dim and dying candles. Looking at me with hundreds of curious eyes,wanting me to reach up and grasp them in my palm.

Were you blinded by the light?

Beside me was a delicate star, glasses sitting on his nose. His still and frail frame leaned up against the side of the building as shadows danced over his skin like snakes under the spell of a flute.

Did you feel the smoke in your eyes?

His hair bounced gently in the breeze that rippled across the empty heavens, the world seemed so empty. So quite.

Did you, did you?

So alone.

Did you see the sparks filled with hope?

Zachary had left me for years, his scar earning odd questions, odder glances, but mostly concern from those who thought they knew the delicate balance between genius and insanity.