Bullied by Jack Gilinsky

Fear hides :Chapter 12

Layla's P.O.V

"I can never love you again Gilinsky."

I knew how my words are they hurt him like ice dagger piercing his heart. I said them through gritted teeth but honestly i don't care .This was nothing compared to the words he said to me. I bit back the tears and acted strong something i haven't done long till after he broke me. I was a strong person but every now and then I'd like someone to take my hand and tell me everything was ok. I had close friends not only Jack.

They changed people change not for the better. Popularity got to their heads. Now they are somebody that i used to know. When ever i pass my old friends they look down and never make eye contact they can't even look at me. Some friends huh.

I walked away from a guilty saddened Jack and walk back to the Canteen's Cafe .I do not regret anything i said to Jack. He's the one who hurt me. But i don't know why i crave you even though your bad for me. The cafe is filled with students,like usual, all gossiping and chattering about mind-numbing rubbish, whilst simultaneously sipping on non alcoholic drinks. The air inside of the cafe is dimly lit too and the lamps that hang from the ceiling emit a soft, golden glow. I get my usual food and sit in my same old empty seat.

My thoughts all race back to Jack.I hate him. I think no I love him but can't forgive him.That makes sense Right?

I feel no longer hungry and the air was getting thick. I stand up throw my waste, then i notice the whole 'Magcon' gang is there, not waiting for me. They are just standing there at the door. The only way to get out. I groan and take the deepest breath ever. As i get closer i see Cameron smirking at me then whispering something into Taylor's ear. The fear sits quietly, eroding the person I was born to be. 

What starts as a contortion of my stomach becomes a feeling of being smothered by an invisible hand. My breathing becomes erratic, deep, then shallow. I fight it. I fight the feeling as my body writhes to be free or shut down entirely. Each time this happens part of me gets stronger, learning how to cope, part of me weakens. To recover, this new version of fear needs a name and I crown it fear of failure. Against it I pit the fear of never trying, of failing through cowardice. This is how I keep moving forward, why others think me brave. I'm not. I just know how to push through fear better than the others... make forwards less painful than hiding in the shadows.

Here it goes...