I woke up this morning with aches on every bit of my body. I struggle to sit up but I was desperate to. Forcing my eyes to focus on the red alarming numbers telling me it to be 5 am, I was early but that means I could take my time.
Pushing myself out of bed, I dragged my sorry body towards the bathroom. I look a mess. I stare into the soulless mirror at the monstrosity that I am. Why am i so Imperfect? I don't deserve this, no one does. I pull down the collar of my top, a purple bruise was left there from last night. My own little reminder. My lips quivered and my hands shook in remembrance.
My hands frantically fought with the shivering and searched for the razor I hid in the cabinet. I bite my lip and placed the sharp edge against my skin. A familiar pain shot up my arm. This one was for being a shit daughter. Another for being a shit sister. A slut. For being me. Maybe I should end my suffering here....
Nope they need me. Unless they don't? Tears rolled down cheeks, these were only memories. I fall to my weak knees and pull my legs to my chest wrapping my hands around them.
"Layla? Oh my..." I head shot up to my sister tears ready to leave her eyes. She drops next to me her lip quivering in sync with mine. "Shh don't cry Leela." I wipe her tears away and cup her cheeks. "Look I'm fine." I try with all my might to pull a smile together but the throbbing ache along my hand only defeats my might.
"But why do you?" Leela whispers. I didn't want to scare her but this is what she wants. She wants the truth. I don't want to lie to her any longer than I have.
"Because its a distraction for me. For one moment i don't feel all the pain. All i feel is the razor going into my skin, the blood running down my arm. For once i don't think how useless I am or how I look. I don't think how much our dad hates me, hurts me for no absolute reason. All i think about is blood. And the addicting part? Well that's when all the hurt and pain comes back. The chance to feel something besides the numbness. When you notice you haven't done anything to take that away and you back where you are. Alone."
I'm better when I'm alone.
YOU ARE READING
Bullied by Jack Gilinsky
Hayran KurguShe was his best friend and love till he found others, they messed with his mind and changed him.They started targeting her and he never cared until one day the both couldn't keep it in.
