Where Will I Go

19||I Slept With Someone In Fallout Boy...

They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone
But for what we've become, we just feel more alone
Always weigh what I've lost against what I left
~~~~~~~~~~

Ran's hand reached down to grip the younger's hip and keep it pinned to the bed. Obviously, the brunet squirmed a little under the elder's strong hand, but what with his other hand and its fingers crawling up his stomach and the feel of Ran's lips on his, he didn't notice it for long.

Alex's jacket had already been hastily taken off his torso and thrown away somewhere in Ran's bedroom. His t-shirt was riding up his stomach, showing off his slightly toned abdomen and protruding hip bones. Tiny red, old and raised scars littered the skin there, but Ran tried not to stare at them.

It was two days after Alex had spilled his guts and opened up to Ran about everything. He told him about how he was ridiculed all throughout most of his school life, his past eating disorder. He told him about the anxiety and all the cutting, even told him about the first time his dad had ever beaten him. After the whole story, Ran understood the reason of self-mutilation a lot more. And not just the reason people do it, he understood the reason Alex did it.

The younger boy silently moaned as Ran's tongue invaded his mouth. He put up a weak fight for dominance as their tongues danced together, before he gave in as usual. His hands moved from around the older boy's neck to sliding down his back. As Ran moved to start nipping at Alex's neck, the younger boy gasped for oxygen. His chest heaved up and down as he let the blond leave faint marks of want a sort of ownership on his neck.

"Mm, w-wait. Hold on, Ran." He gasped, tugging on said blond's hair.

Ran stopped marking the brunet's neck, and looked down at Alex after planting a final kiss to a faint red mark.

"What is it?" He asked, hovering over where he had the younger boy pinned underneath him. Their faces were so close that Alex could feel his other's breath ghosting over his forehead.

"How far is this gonna go?" He questioned.

"I wasn't thinking it was gonna go further at all, really..." The blond said, looking at Alex apprehensively. "Why? Do you wanna stop? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, no." Alex assured, grabbing Ran's arm when he tried to climb off of the younger. The elder looked at Alex again. This time, questioningly.

"I-I just thought you were gradually trying to take my shirt off..." The brunet continued, chuckling nervously.

"Oh, sorry."

"I was gonna say: at least buy me a drink first." Alex snickered.

Ran smiled sheepishly. "Sorry..."

"It's ok." He smiled reassuringly, and the blond laid down in the spot next to him on the bed.

Alex, seeing the opportunity, moved closer to the elder and rested his head on his chest. He curled himself into Ran's side, and smiled contently. Ran, with a smile just as serene and tranquil, wrapped one of his arms around the younger boy and tucked him closer to his body.

"I probably need to get going..." The brunet sighed, genuinely crestfallen that their time was up.

"So soon?" The blond questioned, desponded. There was a small wave of uncertainty and fear that his boyfriend was trying to leave due to Ran possibly going too far. But he tried to play it off like he was just sad, not discouraged.

Earlier, Ran had picked up Alex from school during his lunch break. The younger boy felt rather isolated and friendless, since Bristol had decided that day that school just wasn't for her. And he didn't want to stay in school and eat at the cafeteria, since his peers and colleagues were still glowering upon him like he was some sickness. Even though the bullying had gotten better since middle school, it never exactly stopped.