Where Will I Go

18||Coming Clean

Seventeen and coming clean for the first time
I finally figured out myself for the first time
I found out what it takes to be a man
Well, Mom and Dad will never understand
what's happening to me
~~~~~~~~~

"Where were you last night?!" Alex's mother screamed, her eyes bulging out of their sockets as she scolded her child.

"Jesse's." The brunet mumbled. He yanked his beanie off his head and threw it somewhere in the living room, not bothering to look. He lazily stumbled over to the kitchen, his legs being exhausted and overworked from walking back home.

"I've been worried sick about you!" The woman continued. "You can't just up and leave whenever you feel like it! At least tell me where you're going!"

"Uh huh." The boy nodded, looking in the pantry for a possible snack. He grumbled in disappointment at the lack of junk food, before slamming the pantry door and flopping down on one of the kitchen chairs. He propped his feet up on the seat, hugging his knees and looking into space.

"Do you even care about anything I'm saying right now?!"

Alex looked up at her from where his gaze was previously fixated on a loose thread in his jeans. He stared at her for several moments, expression blank and emotionless. His mother, noticing the sudden change in attitude, settled down. Her face became less hard and her body less stiff. She waited for her son to start speaking.

"I..." He started, stopping momentarily as he searched his brain for the correct words. "I don't think I care about anything anymore..." He admitted sadly. His voice cracked mid sentence, but he quickly swallowed it before he could start sobbing.

The woman in front of him stared at her son. She looked confused, almost worried. Most mothers would be concerned upon hearing that their son didn't care about anything. But then again, she wasn't like most mothers. Apart from then, for most of Alex's life she had ignored and neglected him. The brunet wasn't sure how to feel, now that his mother suddenly cared. He almost felt like it was just a sick joke to her; a game.

"What do you mean?" She finally asked. Her voice was much softer compared to the yelling she had just done. It almost came out sounding like a whisper.

The brunet tore his gaze away from his mother, and instead focused it on the kitchen table. He didn't speak; just continued playing with the stray thread from his black jeans. He continued to stay silent, and still refused eye contact to the woman who gave birth to him.

Once Alex's mother realized that he wasn't going to answer, she sighed in exhaustion and annoyance. She hung her head down for a while, holding it in one of her hands before looking back at him again.

"Fine." She shook her head. Her voice was still calm and quiet, and she walked out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Alex stayed put where he was sat. His mind started to aimlessly wander from topic to topic as he continued to mindlessly pick at his jeans. That continued for 2 more minutes, before he finally came back down to reality. Suddenly feeling upset about the argument that had just happened, he stood up from his chair and ran to and up the stair case. Forcefully, he opened his bedroom door, slammed it shut, and fell on his bed dramatically.

He yelled into the pillow with all he had, and started crying. He sat back up and clung the soft cushion to his body, his face still buried in it as he sobbed relentlessly. He punched it a few times, taking out all of his frustration and anger as he continued to scream and cry. It was there that he was letting everything out. All of his emotions from his father's physical and emotional abuse, the arrest, the people who had no faith in him, his past with bullying, his ignorant mother. He cried for Ran, for Bristol, for Lester and Jesse. Hell, he even cried for his annoying math teacher and his sorry ass dad.