Born In Hell

7

Dammit. Sophia just had to sound like her. She just had to. She couldn't have sounded like anyone else. That's exactly what she said. I remember that part and I wish I didn't. Dammit why did she have to sound like her.

I laid in the comforts of my place across my couch trying to drown out her voice. It wouldn't let up and I just want a break. So for every minute that went by that echoed her voice I took a shot. I guess you could say I'm drunk but, I don't think I'm halfway there. Or at least to the point I'd like to be. I was already five bottles of vodka down, I probably needed another ten. And no worries I have a very high alcohol tolerance.

I might stumble here and there, but everything else is just fine and dandy. This is why I hate remorse. I never know what to do with it. Saying sorry is never enough for them and I've repeated it so many times. All I want is to see my little sister so she doesn't go around hating me too.

"I'm sorry, okay! What more do you want," I yelled into the silence.

I fell off the couch and managed to find another bottle. I could just feel the burning sensation running down my throat now. I just need more.

"Belle," Kali said gently. "What are you doing."

I sat against my fridge, cradling the bottle. "Just minding my own fucking business. I didn't hurt nobody, now leave."

Kali tsked and sat next to me. "May I," she asked pointing to the bottle.

"You want some?" She nodded. "Whatever, help yourself I don't even care anymore."

She took a little sip and sat it back down. Then she started cleaning up all the empty and broken bottles. Once Kali sat back down, she looked kind of worried.

"What is drinking going to solve?"

"What is not drinking going to solve, is the better question."

She looked at me matching my gaze. She was the only person who always holds my gaze. Everyone looks away and they always look like I just murdered their whole family. Like I didn't kill your cat, leave me alone.

To be honest I only kill things when they give me that look. It's either they love me or extremely hate me. This is why you're nice to everyone kids, because you can end up saving yours and someone else's life. I don't kill for fun, I kill to release. And boy did mama have plenty to release. But Aniel- well he's different he doesn't hate nor love me, it's like I'm not even a big deal to him.

"Amia, still loves you.-"

"Oh yeah, then where is she! Huh?! Where is she, Kali," I said softly. "I don't even remember what happened or if I did anything. Nobody will let me see her... I just want to see my sister."

I drank the last of my bottle and threw it across the room. Kali just shook her head while I downed the next bottle and the bottle after that. After those two, things started getting hazy, but I know I kept drinking until I couldn't drink no more.
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If you didn't know waking up, half in half out of the tub hurts. My body was just at the right pain and the right kind of shame.

I groaned in pain as I fell out of the tub. My body felt like it was being attacked and everything was still blurry. Oh my I need to puke. I crawled over to the toilet and emptied my stomach.

"I told you to stop drinking," Kali, said by the doorframe.

I squinted up at her and struggled to stand up. I'm guessing she was the one who tied my hair back, because puke should've been all through my head.

"How long have you been here?"

She sighed and rested against the wall. It was odd looking at her this way. She had on- hold on pause. Is that my clothes?! Did she seriously touch my things? Wow, just wow. Well Kali was sporting my nice short black v-neck racer dress with my nice vanilla converses.