Tumblr fanfic

Hartsquaredbig (part 1)

This fanfiction was written by my favourite

http://letusneverspeakofthis.tumblr.com/post/62942124740/i-sail-in-all-the-ships

The first time they kiss her is a joke.
They're all at Grace's place, finally shooting an MDK with all three of them. Grace and Mamrie are already half-drunk from shooting YDAD and by the time they finish for the day all three of them are completely bombed and Hannah is laughing so hard she thinks she might have pulled something. Somehow they've ended up in costume; Grace is in her onesie, Mamrie in her band uniform and Hannah is swamped in Mamrie's ghillie suit. As the headpiece flops over her face again, Hannah splutters.
"Mametown, I need to change. This thing is trying to drown me!"
It's Grace who answers.
"No changing on the battlefield, soldier!"
"Listen to Commander Koala!" Mamrie yells and Hannah cracks up laughing again. She dunks her hand in what was supposed to be some sort of tomato based sauce and wipes it across her face.
"I'm hit!" She yells "You'll have to cut me out of it for surgery!"
"That's what she said!" Grace and Mamrie both reply and Hannah snorts.
"What? That doesn't even make sense!"
"Oh, like you need to make sense to get a girl naked," Grace scoffs. "You just do the adorable blue eyed stare, lisp a bit and trip over your words and every girl in a three block radius drops their panties."
Mamrie shrieks with laughter, nodding.
"Grace!" Hannah says, scandalised, "that's not true. It's five blocks." She grins.
"You adorable little shit, how are you still single?" Mamrie demands.
Hannah assumes a bewildered, lost look.
"I have no idea!" She holds it together for nearly three seconds before they all howl with laughter.
"How could anyone not want these fine specimens?" Grace gestures broadly across the room, filled with the detritus of six hours of filming and three costumed lunatics.
"Well, I am clearly saving myself for marriage. Something must be putting the hotties off you two though," Hannah intones, stroking her chin thoughtfully and examining one of Grace's koala ears and Mamrie's epaulettes.
"Clearly you must both be horrible kissers." She informs them sadly.
Mamrie squawks in outrage and Grace giggles madly.
"It's true, Mamrie, you suck at kissing," Grace teases.
"Like you would know!" Mamrie shoots back and Grace raises an eyebrow.
"That doesn't count!" Mamrie insists. "It was a dare and I was drunk!"
"You're always drunk!" Grace yells. "You do more kissing drunk than sober! Shouldn't you be better at it?"
"Uh, hi, Kettle? This is Grace. You suck at kissing too!" Mamrie yells at Grace. Hannah laughs and Mamrie turns to her.
"Hey, you're the resident lady-kisser. You be the judge."
And then Mamrie is kissing her. It lasts a second or two before they both start giggling and break apart. When they look over Grace is doing the Home Alone face at them.
"Your turn, Helbig!" Mamrie crows. Hannah is giggling too hard to form words.
"Did you get possessed by the ghost of tumblr or something?" Grace demands. Mamrie just starts making the chicken noise.
"Fine!" Grace strides over and looks at Hannah sternly, although she can see Grace's lips twitch.
"Try not to fall madly in love with me," Grace instructs her, and Hannah nods.
They kiss. Hannah giggles through the whole thing and when they break apart Grace manages to look disapproving for half a second before snorting with laughter.
"Well?" Mamrie demands.
"Um," Hannah tries to compose herself, tries to look contemplative. She fails.
"It's true. You both suck. As Lady Homo in Chief, I must ask you to never kiss anyone for the sake of all Kissingdom."
Mamrie throws a banana at her, Grace pulls the ghillie suit over her face and before long all three of them are wrestling drunkenly on Grace's sofa.
——-
Hannah wakes up on Grace's sofa, head pounding and stomach rolling. Mamrie staggers out of the spare room in fuzzy pajama pants and her uniform jacket, heading straight for the aspirin and seltzer. Grace sleeps until noon and since Hannah and Mamrie feel slightly more alive by then, they make her breakfast. Hannah walks Goose, hoping the exercise will make her feel better. When she comes back the other two are sitting in silence, wincing occasionally.
"Hey guys, I'm gonna get home and start editing," Hannah says quietly. Mamrie raises a hand in farewell and Grace manages a grimace of acknowledgement. Hannah walks home, leaving her car at Grace's.
She doesn't forget, exactly. It's more that it doesn't stand out. It was one joke in a whole night of jokes and Hannah doesn't dwell on it, so when Mamrie calls her asking if they were dicks for kissing her, she laughs.
"Mames, irresistible as you are, I'm fine. I'll soldier on."
Mamrie laughs and makes a Commander Koala crack and Hannah hears Grace's voice raised in outrage. Court martial is threatened and Hannah hangs up, promising to pick up her car that afternoon.
——-
Something changes. Hannah can't put her finger on it, but something is going on. Mamrie and Grace are planning something. She's caught them once or twice, whispering furtively, always stopping whenever they see her. She doesn't pry though. If her friends want to whisper and plot without her, she'll just enjoy the surprise.
——-
Hannah thinks she's going crazy, or spending way too much time on tumblr. That must be it. She's been reading too much fanfic and it's infected her brain, because there is no way, there is just no way, that Grace and Mamrie are secretly dating. It's been two months since the night they both kissed her. The two of them are still whispering in corners but once or twice Hannah noticed one of them reach for the other and then stop, glance at her and retreat. Maybe she's being pranked. Mamrie's commitment to a good prank is legendary and despite what people sometimes think, she can be very subtle. She once decided to convince a friend of hers that his apartment was haunted and spent six months planting the idea in his mind before she even started the prank itself.
Yeah, that must be it. They're laying the groundwork for a prank. Grace is probably trying to get back at her for the proposal stunt at Vidcon. Now at least she's prepared.
——-
It isn't a prank. Not unless Mamrie is both psychic and a time-traveller. Which, to be honest, isn't impossible, but Hannah is more inclined to believe that they really are dating. Barely.
There's no way they could have planned this. Hannah is in a part of LA she rarely visits and stopped at this restaurant on a complete whim. She's seated near the back in a weird little booth-type area and isn't really visible from the entrance, so when she hears Grace's voice she leans over, intending to wave.
Grace and Mamrie are holding hands. Grace and Mamrie are dressed to the nines. Grace and Mamrie are glancing at each other and smiling and asking to be seated somewhere private.
Grace and Mamrie are on a date. There is no way they could know she would be here. They're on an actual date and oh my god the hostess is leading them to the booth behind hers.
Hannah freezes up. She has no idea what to say. This is going to be so fucking awkward.
They don't see her. Grace gestures for Mamrie to sit and then seats herself and somehow (thank you god!) they don't notice that Hannah is right behind them, separated only by the odd wicker walls that divide each booth.
"Oh my God, Grace, this place is so cheesy!" Mamrie says and her voice sounds completely normal. She talks to Grace like that every day. Maybe this isn't what Hannah thinks.
"I know, but the food is amazing. Plus, nobody knows about it." Grace replies. Is her voice softer than usual? Hannah debates just getting up and leaving but there's no way they wouldn't notice her.
"By nobody you mean Hannah?" Mamrie doesn't sound upset, or angry.
"Yeah," Grace says and Hannah knows her well enough to hear the smile in her voice. "I know we're telling her tomorrow, I just wanted you to myself for one more night."
There's a pause.
"Okay," Mamrie says.
There's another pause. Are they smiling at each other? Are they seriously just sitting and smiling at each other? What is happening right now?
"You look beautiful, Mamrie," Grace says and her voice has definitely softened.
"Thank you," Mamrie replies. Hannah wonders if she's blushing.
The waitress comes over to take their drinks order and Hannah tries to think.
Okay, her best friends are dating. How does she feel about that?
Kind of okay, actually. They clearly aren't freaking out about the whole liking a girl thing, which doesn't surprise her. They've both said in the past that they would date a girl if they liked one, it's just never happened. She first noticed the whispering about a month ago, but apart from that nothing about their friendship has changed. Once they come out to her (remember to act surprised, Hannah!) the whispering should stop.
Now that she's finished panicking, Hannah's happy for them. She just has to get through tonight and never, ever let them know she was here.
The waitress approaches her table. Shit. They'll hear her voice.
"Is everything okay with your meal?" She asks. Hannah nods.
"Can I get you anything else?" Hannah shakes her head.
The waitress leaves. Hannah breathes out and takes a sip of her water. It catches in her throat and she coughs. Loudly.
"Is that Hannah?"
Shit.
Mamrie's head appears around the booth wall, wide-eyed. Hannah's eyes are watering and she raises a hand weakly.
"Hi Mames," Hannah manages.
"Hannah?" She hears Grace get up and walk over.
"You're kidding me," Grace says and Hannah can only smile ruefully.
"Sorry to crash your date," Hannah says and they both blush.
"You knew?" Mamrie asks.
"Not for sure, not until you walked in here," Hannah assures her. Grace slides into the booth opposite her and Mamrie follows. Hannah suspects they're holding hands under the table.
"We were gonna tell you, Hannah," Mamrie says and Hannah cuts her off.
"It's okay guys. I get it. If I were dating one of you I'd want some space to work it out in, too."
They both smile. This is going ridiculously smoothly. Nobody is freaking out, nobody is angry or upset. Hannah is momentarily jealous, remembering the disaster that was her own coming out.
"You guys finish your date," Hannah tells them, "and I'll see you on Friday."
"Stay," they tell her in unison. They look at each other and laugh and Hannah joins in.
"You guys look amazing, by the way," she tells them, and they do. Grace is wearing a gorgeous white dress with her hair falling in soft curls around her shoulders and Mamrie is absolutely rocking her blue dress, her hair piled artistically on her head.
Grace and Mamrie order their food and Hannah orders dessert and they talk like any other night. They end up closing the place down and Hannah walks them to Grace's car before saying goodnight. As she walks away she looks back in time to see Grace lift Mamrie's hand and kiss it. It's a little weird, but Hannah sees the shy smile on Mamrie's face and she smiles in response.
——-
Nothing much really changes once Grace and Mamrie come out to her. They're both very private people in some ways and Hannah is the only person who knows. Hannah worries about being the third wheel, but it never happens. They're still just as physical and flirtatious and occasionally downright inappropriate with each other as they always were and if Hannah didn't occasionally see Mamrie press a quick kiss to Grace's lips or Grace reach out and tangle her fingers with Mamrie's, she would have thought the whole thing had been a joke after all. Their relationship is mostly this vague and theoretical idea that doesn't really impact her life at all and although she's ashamed of it, she does sometimes wonder if it's even a real relationship. She knows about curious straight girls and she wonders if they've even gone past making out, let alone had sex.
She gets her answer.
It's a Thursday and Hannah is leaving Grace's apartment. The three of them have been hanging out all morning but Hannah has a meeting in an hour and she needs to get home and change. She gets halfway home before she realises her phone is sitting on Grace's coffee table, so she turns around and heads back. She raises a hand to knock and stops dead. Though the window she can see the two of them stretched out together on the sofa. There's discarded clothing all around them and although they have a light blanket covering them, they are clearly naked and post-coital. Mamrie is running her hands through Grace's hair and looking at her hungrily. The movement of her hand dislodges the blanket and Grace's bare back comes into view. Even from here Hannah can see the nail marks that have been raked across Grace's back and Hannah isn't entirely sure what response she should have to that but she's pretty sure that whatever she's feeling right now is inappropriate. Grace leans forward and kisses Mamrie and it isn't the chaste kisses she's seen before. This is a slow, bone-meltingly sexy kiss. Mamrie's hand clenches into a fist in Grace's hair as she pulls her closer and Hannah's heart starts to pound. Grace is pushing Mamrie onto her back and sliding on top of her and one of her hands starts moving south under the blanket and Hannah needs to get out of here right now and oh my God Grace is kissing Mamrie's neck and Mamrie is arching her back and Hannah can't take her eyes off them. Grace bites down and Mamrie makes a noise Hannah has never heard her make before and Hannah finally snaps out of it. She backs away from the door slowly and gets back in her car and tries very hard not to notice that she's wet.
She autopilots through her meeting and comes home to a message from Grace saying they found her phone and she should come pick it up. Hannah's not sure she can look either of them in the eye, so she ignores it.
She makes dinner and tries not to think about it. She checks her email and tries not to think about it. She turns on the TV and tries not to think about it.
She thinks about it.
She's always known her friends are attractive. She's even let her eyes wander idly on occasion, when Grace wears those ridiculous shorts or Mamrie decides to abuse the concept of 'plunging neckline'. Nobody could read fanfic about themselves having wild sex with someone and not have the idea pop up from time to time, and if maybe she thought about it in those disjointed moments before orgasm a couple of times, it didn't mean anything. People have weird thoughts when they masturbate. Whatever, no judging.
She can't stop seeing it. She's had no problem adjusting to the idea that her friends are dating, but the sheer passion she'd seen was overwhelming. She shifted uncomfortably as her body responded to the memory.
Get it together, Hannah. Distract yourself.
She turns the TV back on. Game of Thrones. Fuck.
——-
She drives over that evening, intending to pick up her phone, leave, and make as little eye contact as possible. Grace is alone, thank God, but Hannah's phone is on the sofa, sitting on top of a neatly folded blanket. Great. She picks it up and turns to leave, trying not to look as though she's thinking about Grace biting down on Mamrie's neck.
"Hey, do you want a drink?" Grace asks.
"Thanks, but I've got to get back," Hannah replies.
"Busy day?"
Hannah hates lying, especially to her friends. She shrugs.
"I guess I've got time for a drink," she concedes.
She sits in the leather chair. She doesn't think she'll ever sit on the sofa again.
They talk for a while and Hannah slowly relaxes, allowing the afternoon's events to recede from her thoughts. Eventually she stands and stretches briefly before saying goodbye to Grace and heading for the door. Grace stands to see her out.
"Oh, your phone!" Grace goes to the sofa to pick it up and holy shit. She's wearing those tiny shorts and when she bends down Hannah is hit by a wave of lust. She takes the phone and manages to say thanks and Grace chooses that moment to wrap her in a hug.
Of all days, Grace Don't-Touch-Me Helbig chooses today to hug her. Hannah hugs back, aware that freezing in place would look weird, and hopes Grace can't feel her heart jackrabbiting in her chest.
How she gets home in one piece she doesn't know.
"Seriously Hannah," she says out loud, "don't do this. Do not do this."
She can not get a crush on Grace. Can't happen. Won't happen.
——-
Hannah has it under control. Her therapist says it's normal. She was introduced to the idea of her friends as sexual beings in a more than theoretical way and she's responding to that. So if she has to stop herself staring at Grace's legs or Mamrie's lips, that's okay. It'll pass. She just wishes it would pass quicker. It was bad enough when Grace hugged her, but when she saw Mamrie a couple of days later, sporting the last shadow of a hickey, her knees had gone weak. It's faintly humiliating that she's managed to develop simultaneous crushes on both of her best friends, but six months have gone by without her embarrassing herself and she's doing okay.
There's a party tonight at her apartment, so the three of them are out getting supplies. Mamrie blushes faintly when the guy at the liquor store greets her by name, but Grace nudges her and smiles and damn, the sickeningly cute stuff doesn't help Hannah at all. The two of them are smitten with each other and Hannah isn't jealous, exactly, she just wishes she had the same thing.
As they finish setting up for the party, Mamrie puts her arms around Grace and kisses her deeply. Hannah feels her ears redden but she doesn't think she lets anything show.
"What was that for?" Grace asks, sounding pleased.
"Just to tide me over till everyone leaves," Mamrie replies and Grace blushes. Hannah's pretty sure she blushes too, so she heads for the kitchen. She hears the two of them murmuring softly to each other and purposefully tunes it out.
The party is amazing. Hannah is pretty sure she's going to be nursing the mother of all hangovers in the morning but right now she doesn't care. People are dancing in her living room, Mamrie is producing some kind of cocktail that Hannah's pretty sure is illegal in fourteen states and Grace is single-handedly acting out what she calls 'a modern retelling of Romeo and Juliet' using only Taylor Swift lyrics. The music changes and Hannah hears the familiar opening strains of Katy Perry. From the kitchen she hears Mamrie shriek in delight and the three of them converge almost by instinct to the 'dance floor'. They sing along at the top of their lungs, pulling people in to join them and by the time the song ends there's a huge group hug going on, the three of them squished together in the middle. Hannah can't stop smiling.
The party winds down around two am. Hannah hugs Pearl and she and Nick depart, leaving only the three of them left. Grace is still dancing and as Hannah passes she grabs her by the arm and pulls her into a loose embrace. They dance together for a few moments and Hannah realises her anxiety has gone. Maybe it's the alcohol or maybe it's just good timing but dancing in Grace's arms she just feels happy. The attraction is still there, she's just not worried about it. Mamrie comes through and joins them and the three of them dance energetically, laughing like crazy people. A slower song comes on and Grace grins at Hannah mischievously. Hannah finds herself sandwiched between Mamrie and Grace as the two of them slow dance with her jammed in the middle. Hannah and Mamrie giggle, but Grace stares at Mamrie, glances down at Hannah and nods. Hannah feels Mamrie inhale sharply in response but before she can say anything Grace has reached across her shoulder and is kissing Mamrie. Hannah freezes.
The two of them kiss softly at first, but within a few seconds progress to full-blown making out. Hannah tries to slip out from between them but Mamrie's hands come to her hips, holding her still. Grace lifts a hand and runs it through Hannah's hair, never breaking the kiss and Hannah takes a deep breath, trying to control her body's response.
"Uh, guys?" Hannah says.
Grace tugs on her hair a little and Hannah remembers telling Grace that that is a weakness of hers. Mamrie's hands slide from her hips around her waist and Hannah swears that Grace's hips roll subtly in response. They finally stop kissing and just stand there, resting their foreheads together and apparently having a conversation entirely through eye contact, because they both look at her at the same time. Hannah's skin is on fire and she's pretty sure her breathing has gone ragged and the two of them just smile at her, the bitches.
"What-" she manages to say, but Graces free hand comes up to place a finger on her lips.
"We know how you act when you like someone, Harto," Mamrie purrs into her ear and Jesus, Hannah's legs just turned to jello. "You can't hide anything from us."
"We've caught you staring," Grace tells her.
"But-" Hannah is actually glad that Grace cuts her off, because she no idea what she was about to say.
"Shh!" Grace scolds, tugging on her hair again.
"We talked about it," Mamrie says, dropping another kiss onto Grace's lips, "and we agreed, it doesn't feel right without you."
This is a hallucination. She's having a stroke.  Mamrie's moonshine has pickled her brain and right now she's sitting on the sofa drooling while people dance around her. It's the only explanation.
Grace pulls on her hair hard enough that she tilts her head and Mamrie places the lightest of kisses on her exposed neck.
"Fuck!" She can't help it, it just slips out. Grace grins at her.
"That's the plan," she says and leans in to kiss her.
——-
Hannah is told in no uncertain terms that if she isn't touching one of them she damn well better be touching herself because watching the show is almost as good as being in it, and Hannah complies. Mamrie likes to give instructions and it is just embarrassing the way Hannah responds to the tone of command in her voice. Grace likes eye contact, which Hannah wasn't expecting, especially when Grace is doing things to Mamrie that Hannah's going to blush thinking about tomorrow and the whole time she watches Hannah. Grace kisses with her whole body, tangling her legs with Hannah's and holding on tight. Mamrie has a sensitive spot at the base of her back that sends shivers all over her body.
After a while the nerves and the awkwardness fade and it's just them, loving each other. Hannah isn't too far gone to notice them both looking at her with the same expression they give to each other and when they stop for a rest, Hannah finally speaks up.
"So, is a thing or is this a thing?"
Grace laughs and Mamrie ruffles her hair.
"Don't overthink it, Hannah," Grace tells her, with a significant look at Mamrie that clues Hannah in to the fact that this didn't happen spontaneously. This has been discussed and planned.
"We love each other," Mamrie tells her and Hannah's heart constricts, half happy and half terrified, "and we want you to be a part of that."
Hannah has a feeling they are both choosing their words carefully.
"Like, what, dating?" Hannah asks. "You want me to date you?"
Grace hesitates. "I know it's weird," she says, "we only even talked about it when we realised you were acting like an idiot around both of us."
"We tried to work out what to do," Mamrie tells her, "and I joked about a tournament to compete for your affections and Grace said we should just share you-"
"And we just looked at each other," Grace interrupted, "and suddenly we weren't kidding."
Hannah is suddenly intensely aware that they're all naked. Mamrie's head is propped up on her thigh and Grace's legs are slung over Mamrie's lap. They've sat like this a million times before. This should feel so weird, but instead Hannah is combing her fingers through Mamrie's hair and calmly thinking about dating them.
"If it's not what you want we can call it a night and never speak of it again," Mamrie says and Grace nods, miming zipping her lips.
"But if you want to try," Mamrie continues, "We're on board."
Hannah tries to collect her thoughts. The lingering alcohol and the post-threesome lassitude slur her words a little but she manages.
"You guys don't need to worry about me, I know you love each other and I don't-"
Grace slaps her upside the head. Her expression must be pretty funny because they both laugh.
"We love you too, you doofus," Grace tells her. "How could we not? We're a team!"
"This isn't a sacrifice, Hannah," Mamrie says. "This isn't you intruding. We want you with us."
Hannah doesn't really know how to respond to that.
"Think about it," Grace says. "It took time for us to wrap our heads around it. You don't have to decide tonight."
Mamrie grins wickedly and turns to bite at Hannah's knee.
"Tonight is for other stuff."
——-
Hannah wakes up with a headache, a sore back and a neck cramp. She's plastered up against a very naked back and it takes her a moment to register that it's Grace's. The toilet flushes and Mamrie pads back into the room and climbs into the bed. She's wearing one of Grace's oversized shirts and the soft cotton rubs against Hannah's skin as Mamrie cuddles up to her. The sun is only just starting to rise and in the soft light and the early morning quiet Hannah's hangover is just about bearable. She feels Mamrie lift the sweaty hair away from her neck and drop a kiss on her shoulder.
Grace chooses that moment to roll over and say good morning and Hannah realises that she hasn't opened her eyes yet. Not quite knowing why, she snuggles into their joint embrace and grunts softly, pretending to still be asleep.
Grace and Mamrie are quiet for a while but Hannah can feel the muscles in Mamrie's arm move as she strokes Grace's shoulder. Hannah is beginning to drift off for real when Grace speaks.
"What if she says no? It was scary enough for us."
Mamrie takes a long time to reply.
"Then we had one night."
"Babe, don't take this the wrong way, but-"
"I know," Mamrie assures her. "We both want this, Grace. God knows I love you but something is missing without her."
Hannah feels Grace nod.
"But we can't force this. She told me once she hears her Dad in her head sometimes, telling her she's going to Hell just for being gay. Can you imagine the freakout this would cause?"
Hannah tries not to wince. Mamrie isn't wrong.
"Hell, Grace, we freaked out. That fight lasted three days!"
They fought about her?
"That was just because we were both ashamed to admit what we wanted. Once we talked about it, we were fine."
That...sounded like expositionary dialogue. What the hell?
"You guys know I'm awake, don't you?" She asks.
Mamrie laughs softly and kisses her shoulder again.
"Hello, Harto!" she teases.
"So that little play was for my benefit?" Hannah grumbles.
"Yeah, but it's true, Hannah. We did freak out and we did get over it."
"And we do want you," Grace adds, squeezing Hannah's hand.
Hannah is quiet for a moment.
"If I say yes, do I get breakfast?"
Mamrie laughs and Grace shoves her gently.
"Who has the cooking show, Hannah? You should be making us breakfast!"
Hannah's retort is cut off by Grace's lips on hers and she responds instinctually.
She knows there's a side to this she doesn't know. How the two of them started dating, how they decided they wanted to include her. She knows it won't be easy. She knows she's going to start freaking out soon. She knows she could never, ever tell her parents.
She knows she wants it. She reaches back blindly without breaking the kiss and grabs Mamrie's hand, bringing it to rest over her tattoo, over her heart.