Tumblr fanfic

Intimacy

Their friendship had always been intimate.
That's probably not a very accurate description of what had been oh-so-obvious for everybody else to see. But it was, for the lack of a better word, what they called it. At least when they were sober.
Intimate.
Though that one day of Vidcon 2013 left both of them questioning everything they had thought they knew. About themselves. Their friendship.
The intimacy.
_
Hannah pushed her hotel room door open with a grin splattered across her face, making room for Grcae to get inside. She noticed the same expression on the blonde's face as their fronts brushed against each other momentarily.
Hannah closed the door and leaned her back against it, sighing. It had been the day they had announced Camp Takota.
After having had a couple of drinks, Hannah couldn't stop replaying the blonde woman's face during her fake proposal. The way she had stared at her, with a hint of tears glistening in wide brown eyes.
Looking at Hannah now Grace realized that, even hours later, her heart still hadn't stopped beating faster than usual and her hands hadn't stopped trembling whenever she reached for her drink.
Grace let herself fall onto the bed and pressed her palms to her face.
Then she just sat there, her feet on the ground. She watched Hannah, who was running her fingers through short hair, brushing it back.
Her face seemed to be glowing in the dim lighting. She stared at Grace and maybe it was the hottest thing the blonde had ever seen. As that thought crossed the tall woman's mind she giggled, forcing her gaze away from Hannah and leaned back, stretching long, clumsy arms above her head.
Hannah's eyes hovered over her torso that rested heavily on the covers. Then there were those leather shorts, revealing far too much of incredibly long legs. Her feet still rested on the ground when Grace wobbled around, attempting to take her shoes off without using her hands.
Hannah chuckled and pushed herself away from the door.
"Do you need a hand there?", she inquired, being answered by a tired nod of Grace's head. She bent down and tucked at her friend's shoes until they came off.
Hannah stumbled back and came to sit on the floor. Speaking for both of them, Grace groaned, "God, I'm exhausted."
"Yeah", Hannah muttered and got up, sitting on the edge of her bed.
The brunette rubbed her eyes, both hands covering her face, elbows resting on her thighs. The bed shifted a little when Grace lifted her back from the mattress and leaned over to where Hannah was sitting.
They were sitting right next to each other, but due to the ridiculous length of Grace's legs, her torso wasn't on the same level as Hannah's, but slightly behind her. So Grace rested slender hands on top of Hannah's head and leaned her front into the shorter woman's back.
"Do you know that you're a real asshole?", Grace asked, mumbling into the hair of Hannah's neck, while her forehead moved unconsciously against her friend's head.
Hannah giggled and replied, "and why would you say that, Grace?"
The feeling of warm breath from Grace's lips sent shivers down her spine. The blonde let her hands fall from Hannah's head and grabbed the shorter girl's shoulders, making her scoot back in order to look at her.
They both turned to face each other. They were still smiling goofy.
"You could have at least warned me before you get down on one knee in front of all those people", Grace slurred. She was tipsy and tired and overwhelmed by the cuteness sitting in front of her.
"No, if I had warned you", Hannah replied with a grin on her face, "I wouldn't have gotten to see that priceless reaction of yours", she laughed.
Grace hid her face in her hands and let herself fall back into the bed-sheets again, looking up at Hannah through the small gaps between her fingers.
Hannah laughed and lay down beside Grace. They both shuffled up to lay on the bed completely, still facing each other.
"You really freaked me out for a second", Grace mumbled, grinning shyly.
Hannah laughed and rubbed her friend's arm, in a way that friends comfort their friends, but it made Grace squeeze her eyes shut.
She wasn't able to look at Hannah when Hannah was being so sweet, when those blue eyes communicated so much, well, intimacy.
Hannah scooted closer and pressed her lips to Grace's forehead half covered by messy bangs. She heard a sigh escape the blonde's lips.
Before either of them could get lost in the moment, Grace started giggling. It broke the tension, but it didn't stop Hannah from feeling the need to wrap Grace up in her arms.
It was that kind of intimacy that almost had Grace loosing her mind. The way Hannah's body always came snuggling into hers as soon as they've had a few drinks. And there was this feeling in her chest, this rush, that made her want to do something, anything, to stop herself from feeling like she was about to combust.
But she didn't know what to do, didn't know what to say when Hannah's hand traveled across her back until her arm pulled Grace's upper body closer. She just wrapped her limbs around the small frame of her friend and continued to giggle.
They both laughed, because, what the hell was going on anyway?
Foreheads leaning against each other their eyes met.
And then they were rolling around, Grace's arms around Hannah's waist, until neither of them was able to keep moving, because they were really giggly and really tired.
Neither could think of any reason to even try moving now. Because they were cuddled up, holding each other so closely, one could call it ...intimately. Though that would be stupid and ridiculous and untrue. They both knew countless reasons to not call it intimacy, but every other possible option was way too scary.
Grace breathed in deeply and became aware of the fact that Hannah was on top of her now, and that one of her own legs carelessly rested on the back of Hannah's upper thigh, keeping her in place. And she felt Hannah's heart thumping, about to jump out of her chest. Right into Grace's awkward robot-hands.
Because Grace knew that a few seconds earlier her own heart had been hammering inside her rib-cage, almost painfully, but now the clenching feeling was gone. It was ridiculous, truly, but Grace thought to herself that the reason she was able to breathe more freely now was simply that her chest had opened up and her heart had fluttered right into the other girl's pocket.
Hannah propped herself up on her elbows and smiled at the blonde's flushed face.
"What was going through your head when I fake-proposed?", Hannah whispered, knowing that her voice had abandoned her body along with that blood-pumping organ the moment she looked down into Grace's brown eyes. Who needs a heart anyway?
Grace felt every inch of Hannah's body pressed against her own and lost all ability to keep up a facade, to play pretend any longer. She knew that her voice was about to crack when she parted her lips to speak but Grace threw caution to the wind for once. Because, hell, this was Hannah. Her Hannah. Best friend, adorable person, fucking gorgeous. And right now she was closer than ever to letting go of the last bit of rope she had been so desperately holding on to. That rope that connected Grace to everything she had known about herself, their friendship, this fucking intimacy.
So she tried to fill her lungs with as much air as possible, recalling the moment Hannah had gotten on one knee, in her carrot onesie, in front of all of those people, and almost inaudibly breathed, "honestly? I was terrified of how much I wanted you to be serious. And that's ridiculous, right?"