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Hartsquaredbig (part 2)

Mamrie's POV

this time It's all Hannah's fault. Mamrie would never have had that rare moment of insecurity without Hannah's joke, she wouldn't have asked Grace if she really was a bad kisser. If Hannah hadn't passed out on Grace's sofa like the tiny adorable lightweight she is, they would never have retreated to Grace's bedroom to continue drinking. If they hadn't been in the bedroom, a kiss that was meant to be half running joke and half reassurance wouldn't have turned into Mamrie and Grace having a full blown make out session.
They're lying on Grace's bed, kissing, and Mamrie's vaguely aware that this is not normal behaviour but she's pretty drunk and it feels nice and Grace isn't complaining, so why not? She can blame Hannah in the morning and nothing will change.
She's a little surprised at how into it she is. She's kissed girls before and never really felt a spark, but this is starting to have an effect and she wonders if Grace feels the same way. She bites down gently on Grace's bottom lip and the response is immediate: Grace whimpers softly and grips at Mamrie's hips. Okay, wow. Now she's more than a little into it. That was hot.
She does it again and Grace presses her body into Mamrie's in response. Yeah, she's definitely into this. She runs a hand up Grace's back, scratching lightly at the fuzzy grey fabric of Grace's onesie. Grace makes a little frustrated noise and sits up and before Mamrie knows what's happening, Grace is unzipping the onesie and shoving it off.
There's a moment, a pause, where they look at each other and realise that if they're going to stop, now is the time. Stop now and they can laugh it off in the morning. The moment passes. Grace leans forward and kisses her again.
Grace is on top of her now and Mamrie's never been the submissive type but this doesn't feel like being topped. Mamrie's hand slides under Grace's shirt and up to her shoulder blades and Grace whimpers again. Mamrie scratches a little, experimentally.
"Fuck," Grace hisses, burying her face in Mamrie's neck.
Mamrie chuckles, enjoying the sensation of having Grace pressed against her. Her hands continue upwards, tugging at Grace's shirt until finally it lies discarded on the floor. Grace is kissing her throat so softly that her entire body is tingling. Mamrie hums her approval and tests her new theory by digging her nails into Grace's back.
Grace's hips rock into hers and she moans. Interesting. Apparently Grace likes it a little rough.
Mamrie can't experiment further because Grace is sitting up again, pulling Mamrie with her and then tearing the clothes off both of them. Mamrie doesn't have time to react to being naked before Grace is pushing her down again and kissing her and Mamrie can't help but respond. Grace's leg slips between hers and oh yeah, friction is her friend. She moves her leg to mirror Grace's actions. They're both panting harshly and Mamrie's hands slide down Grace's back to cup her ass, encouraging her to move.
The room is filled with the sound of Grace's quiet whimpers and Mamrie's harsh breathing. Grace kisses her briefly and then buries her face in Mamrie's neck again. Mamrie feels teeth against her skin and moans loudly. She stops for a moment, wondering if she woke Hannah, but Grace doesn't seem to care and soon she's caught up once again in the sensation. She moves her thigh and slips her hand between Grace's legs and Grace swears roughly before returning the favour and now there really is no way around it, she and Grace are outright fucking.
Mamrie feels herself getting close. She lets out an inarticulate groan and drags her nails up Grace's lean back. Grace shudders and her hips jerk roughly and Mamrie realises she's coming. Her brain short-circuits at the idea and she follows suit, biting her lip to keep quiet.
Grace collapses against her. Mamrie pushes her sweaty hair out of her eyes and laughs softly.
"Well that was unexpected."
It's the wrong thing to say. Grace jerks away from her and blushes hotly, reaching for her discarded clothes.
"Hey, I didn't mean-" Mamrie starts, but Grace holds up an abrupt hand, cutting her off. She's clearly freaking out, so Mamrie rolls gracefully off the bed and pulls her own clothes on.
"Relax, Gracie," she says as she heads for the spare bedroom, "we'll talk in the morning."
——-
Hangovers are a bitch. Hannah is just stirring on the sofa as she hunts for painkillers and the two of them start to clear up the detritus of the previous night. Mamrie hasn't freaked out yet which is cool, if surprising, but she has absolutely no idea what she's going to say to Grace. She and Hannah finish clearing up and talk quietly for a while until Grace finally emerges.
Mamrie and Hannah make breakfast and Mamrie is painfully aware that Grace won't look her in the eye. When Hannah mentions taking Goose out, Mamrie sees the panic flash across Grace's expression but to her surprise, Grace doesn't protest. Hannah leads the dog out and the two of them sit in silence for a moment.
"You okay?" Mamrie asks.
Grace shakes her head.
"On a scale of one to ten, how bad are you freaking out?" Her light tone seems to calm Grace a little and she manages a small smile.
"Around 200," she says and Mamrie smiles.
"Relax, Helbig," she instructs. "We were drunk. Shit happens. It doesn't have to mean anything."
"Okay," Grace mumbles, dropping her head and hiding behind her hair.
"Hey," Mamrie says, softening her voice, "look at me."
Grace looks up through her bangs and Mamrie is struck by how vulnerable she looks.
"What is it?" Mamrie asks softly. Grace shakes her head and hugs herself unconsciously.
"I'm so sorry, Mamrie. I'm not real proud of myself right now."
Mamrie's heart lurches at the shame in Grace's voice. She pulls Grace into a hug, trying not to notice the new awareness of her body touching Grace's.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Grace."
"I used you," Grace replies. "I'm supposed to be your friend and instead I kissed you when you were drunk and took advantage-"
"No you didn't," Mamrie insists. "I was right there with you, Grace. Okay, I wasn't expecting it, but you didn't do anything I didn't consent to."
Grace hangs her head again and a nasty thought occurs to Mamrie.
"Do...do you regret it?"
Grace hesitates, then nods slowly.
"Oh." Mamrie doesn't know what to say to that and the two of them sit in awkward silence until Hannah brings Goose back and says her goodbyes. They just sit there, not speaking, and Mamrie is surprised to find herself becoming angry with Grace.
"Okay, no. I'm not going to let this fuck up our friendship. You didn't take advantage. We both wanted it and we both enjoyed it and we're both grown-ass women and we're going to deal with this!"
Grace looks at her in shock.
"You enjoyed it?"
Mamrie stares at her.
"Uh, yeah, Grace. You didn't catch on to that when I had a fucking orgasm?"
Mamrie can actually see the moment realisation hits her and she can't help it, she laughs.
"You didn't know?" She asks incredulously.
"No! I mean, I remember coming and then you went really still and quiet and I thought you were freaking out and I just-."
"That's what you think? I was coming too! I was trying to keep quiet in case I woke Hannah, idiot!"
Grace laughs out loud in relief and the two of them grin at each other.
"Jesus," Mamrie breathes, painfully aware of how close they had skirted to disaster.
"Yeah," Graces says and they sit in comfortable silence for a moment.
"Do you really regret it, Grace?" Mamrie asks finally.
"I thought you were just... I thought I'd hurt you and you were asking if I was sorry."
"Is that a yes or a no?"
Grace hesitates and Mamrie recognises the look she gets when she's gathering her courage.
"No."
"Me neither."
The silence washes over them again. Mamrie knows they should probably talk about it more, but her head is pounding and she doesn't share Hannah's enthusiasm for processing. She decides to just skip the awkward post-one night stand bullshit and trust that their friendship will survive.
"So that's it? That's the freaking out over with?" She teases and watches the comprehension and gratitude flood Grace's features. The two of them have always understood each other.
"I think so."
"Thank God! That was way too much drama for a hangover this bad."
——-
A week or so passes and Mamrie and Grace shoot another YDAD. By unspoken agreement they don't get drunk and as they clean up Mamrie quietly empties the cocktail glasses down the sink. The two of them collapse on Grace's sofa to watch some cheesy cowboy film and within half an hour they ignore it in favour of just talking. She leaves around midnight and they even manage a hug at the door. Mamrie has to admit she's pretty proud of them for how they've handled everything. There's no residual weirdness and Mamrie is smart enough to take the win and not question it.
——-
The three of them have gone out to dinner and Mamrie's starting to think her self-congratulation was premature. Grace is staring at her. She can feel it. Mamrie decides to blame the wine and tries to focus on Hannah's story about a rude waitress. She resists as long as she can before sneaking a glance across the table. Grace's cheeks are flushed and she's biting her lip and suddenly all Mamrie can think about is how she did the same thing with Grace's naked body pressed against hers as she was consumed by pleasure.
She shakes herself mentally and returns her attention to Hannah just in time to groan at a particularly egregious pun. Grace flags down a waiter and orders another bottle and Mamrie tries not to look at the exposed column of her throat as she looks up at the tall man.
The meal progresses and Mamrie is sure now. Grace is staring intently at her whenever Hannah's attention is elsewhere. Mamrie waits for Hannah to focus on her food and then shoots an arched brow at Grace.
Grace licks her lips. Mamrie swallows, hard.
They order dessert and Hannah gets up to use the bathroom. Mamrie pins Grace with a look.
"Explain yourself, Helbig." She keeps her voice low.
"I've been thinking about it. You. Us," Grace tells her, gesturing between them.
"You have?"
"I have. Haven't you?"
Mamrie blushes.
"A little."
"I was kind of fuzzy that morning. It took a few days to remember everything clearly."
"That explains a lot," Mamrie mutters and Grace scowls at her.
"It was good, Mames. I mean, really good."
Mamrie blushes.
"It was," she agrees.
"I keep thinking about it. About you. Like, two weeks ago you were just Mamrie and now I look at you and you're hot."
"Uh, thanks?" Mamrie responds.
"You know what I mean," Grace says, and she does. Two weeks ago she had known objectively that Grace was beautiful. Now she notices things like the way the low lighting makes her hair shine like fire and turns her eyes an even deeper brown. Two weeks ago she would happily gossip about sex with her friend. Now she is thinking about how Grace gets off on a little bit of pain and how they share the same weakness for having their backs touched.
"So what do you want to do about that?" Mamrie asks playfully and holy shit, she's flirting. Grace smiles at her and Mamrie feels her heart rate speed up a little as she opens her mouth to respond.
Hannah chooses that moment to come back from the bathroom. Mamrie and Grace share a rueful grin and the three of them pick up their conversation effortlessly.
Mamrie texts Grace that night.
I never got an answer.
That's true, you didn't
Mamrie snorts.
Koalas aren't generally known for being coy, Grace.
Have dinner with me tomorrow
Mamrie blinks at her phone. Even with their blatant flirting, Mamrie had honestly never considered the next logical step.
Grace Helbig, are you asking me on a date?
The reply takes a long time to come. Mamrie wonders if Grace has shocked herself as much as she has Mamrie.
I am. My place, 8.30. I promise not to cook
Mamrie laughs.
Order Thai. I'll bring the wine.
——-
They don't tell Hannah. Neither of them is sure there's anything to tell. They've been dating for a few weeks and it's clear there's something there, but they both know that telling Hannah makes it a thing and has the potential to mess with their whole Holy Trinity dynamic, so they agree on their first date to wait and see if this whatever-it-is fizzles out.
Mamrie doesn't think it will, though. This new dimension they've added hasn't overshadowed their friendship, it's enhanced it. They spend as much time laughing and drinking and being immature as they ever did, but now they end the night tangled up in each other, sweaty and satisfied.
Besides, it's getting harder to keep the secret, and Mamrie isn't sure she wants to any more. She's fairly confident now that this is, in fact, a thing. She doesn't want to share how she feels with the whole world, but Hannah is their best friend and keeping her in the dark is starting to feel kind of shitty.
She raises the subject one morning. Grace is still half-asleep and adorably mussed and Mamrie backs her into her kitchen counter and kisses her until she feels Grace's attention is sufficiently focussed.
"I think it's time to tell Hannah," she murmurs against Grace's lips.
"Keep kissing me like that and I'll agree to anything," Grace replies.
"I'll remember that," Mamrie promises and slides her hands under Grace's shirt.
——-
Of course Hannah is at the restaurant. It's not like Mamrie has anything big planned. It's not like she wants to use this last night of just the two of them to tell Grace how she feels. Mamrie isn't really angry at Hannah but she will admit to being glad to see her walk away from them at the end of the night.
"It feels more real now that Hannah knows," Grace says thoughtfully as they drive back to her apartment.
Mamrie glances over at her. She's sitting with her eyes closed, smiling slightly.
"Like how?"
Grace thinks for a moment before she speaks.
"Before tonight it felt like this dream you and I were sharing, a wonderful dream, but not something that existed in the real world. Now it feels like I've woken up and the dream turned out to be true."
Mamrie's an actress, she knows when the universe is giving her a cue.
"I love you, Grace."
Grace doesn't open her eyes but her smile widens and she reaches over to lace her fingers through Mamrie's.
"I love you, too."
——-
Mamrie has seen Grace in relationships before. Grace has told her about boyfriends that have become frustrated at her unwillingness to express her emotions verbally. Mamrie thinks they were idiots.
It's true, Grace doesn't say it often. She's uncomfortable with putting words to her feelings, but Mamrie knows her well enough to recognise that it's not a lack of feeling causing it. Grace doesn't think words are sufficient.
Grace says 'I love you' with her body. She kisses Mamrie like she's trying to taste her soul. She makes love like it hurts her not to touch. She shows her affections in thoughtful gestures, like stocking her cupboards with Mamrie's favourite coffee and sending her photos of sunsets that she takes while out running.
To the outside world they remain good friends. They are such private people in some ways that even around Hannah they restrain themselves, and Hannah understands because she's exactly the same. They're happy and life is good and they see no reason to let the rest of the world into their little bubble.
——-
Hannah is avoiding them. She's subtle enough that it takes them a while to notice, and Mamrie acknowledges that she's enjoyed having Grace to herself more, but she talks to Grace one Tuesday and they realise that neither of them have seen their friend in person for three weeks.
At first they assume it's just a quirk of their respective schedules and they invite her over for dinner.
Shit gets weird. Hannah comes over and now that Mamrie is paying attention she notices how Hannah fidgets a little, how reluctant she is to make eye contact, how she leans away from being touched. She exchanges a glance with Grace and her expression tells Mamrie that she sees it too. Hannah eats quickly and makes a fairly weak excuse to leave. They let her go without comment and start clearing up.
"Okay, I'm not crazy right?" Grace asks her as the wash the dishes, "She's acting weird."
"Yeah," Mamrie says quietly.
"Did we piss her off or something?"
Mamrie shakes her head. Hannah is a big believer in communication and if she was pissed at one of them, they'd know.
"She didn't seem angry, just uncomfortable."
"With us?" Grace gestures between them.
"We've been together for months, why would she get uncomfortable now?"
Grace stops suddenly and stares at Mamrie in shock.
"Mames, when does Hannah get nervous and fidgety around girls?"
"When she likes them," Mamrie replies automatically. It takes a second for her own words to register.
"Oh shit."
——-
After a week they're sure. Hannah has a crush on one of them and is desperately trying not to let it show. Mamrie isn't sure what to do. She hates the idea of Hannah suffering in silence but at the same time she's not sure bringing it up would be helpful. Hannah is obviously trying not to let it affect their friendship and they can't even be sure which of them it is. They agree that they need to figure out who Hannah is crushing on before they decide what to do and over the next few days they both arrange to spend time alone with her.
Grace meets her for breakfast near the park one morning to compare notes.
"It's me," she says. "She could barely look at me, didn't touch me once and every time I touched her she blushed."
Mamrie frowns. "She did the same thing with me. Did she keep apologising for nothing with you?"
"Yeah!" Grace says. "I didn't really notice at the time but yeah, she did."
"Well then it can't be a crush, something else must be going on."
"Either that or she likes us both," Grace jokes. Mamrie laughs.
They talk for a while longer but neither of them has any ideas short of asking Hannah flat out, and they suspect all that would do is humiliate her. They agree to try and hint that they're willing to listen and give Hannah time to come to them before asking her themselves.
For some reason Mamrie's thoughts come back around to Grace's comment and she chews it over long after she and Grace finish their breakfast. Could it be possible? Could Hannah be crushing on them both?
Obviously it's possible, they're both crush-worthy women. Grace is beautiful and funny and awkward and Mamrie knows she's pretty goddamn awesome herself. Maybe seeing them together flipped some switch in Hannah's gay little brain and she was just overwhelmed by their combined amazingness. Really, who wouldn't get a crush on them?
Mamrie laughs to herself, ignoring the looks she gets.
——-
Now that she's noticed it's impossible not to see the changes in Hannah's behaviour. It's actually kind of adorable, not that Mamrie would ever say that out loud. Mamrie has seen Hannah stare at Grace for a few seconds too long and then shake herself out of it and Mamrie can almost hear her scolding herself silently. She's caught Hannah checking herself out too, not in the automatic unconscious way she has before, but covertly and with real desire. Mamrie has to admit to being flattered. She's fairly sure Grace is enjoying the attention too and Mamrie wonders if she should be jealous. If it were anyone else, she thinks she might be, but Hannah has always been special.
Her thoughts wander idly. She thinks about what they're going to say when they finally sit Hannah down and get her to try and chill out. She can picture the look on Hannah's face when she realises she's been busted and makes a mental note to warn Grace not to laugh. Hannah is cute as hell when she's surprised and Mamrie wonders what her expression would do if one of them kissed her. It would have to be Grace, there's no way Mamrie would want to miss that look; her eyebrows climbing into her hairline and those bright blue eyes wide open. Mamrie imagines Hannah jumping back and looking at her with the guilty-little-kid look she does so well and stuttering an apology. She pictures Grace's lazy smile as Mamrie raises one imperious eyebrow and Hannah trips over her words and her hands gesture wildly until Grace puts a silencing finger over her lips. Grace looks and Mamrie and she nods and Grace leans forward and kisses Hannah again and now Hannah's surprise fades into puzzlement and finally arousal. Mamrie stands and walks towards them, eyes focused on the exposed skin of Hannah's neck. She reaches out and-
What the fuck?
That did not just happen. She did not think that. There is no way she just fantasised about her girlfriend and her best friend acting out the start of a porno and she definitely isn't even slightly aroused by the idea. The two of them are due at her apartment in less than an hour and she can't have that shit rolling around in her mind, so she heads for her office and does her taxes until they arrive.
Grace and Hannah arrive promptly and the night gets underway. Ever since they noticed, they've stopped letting Hannah pull away from them and tonight is supposed to be about the three of them 'reconnecting as friends', which is code for getting Hannah drunk and telling her to relax. The first part of the plan goes smoothly and as Hannah succumbs to the effects of the alcohol, she confirms Mamrie's suspicions. She can't keep her hands off either of them and Mamrie and Grace share a knowing grin more than once. Hannah isn't flirting on purpose, Mamrie doesn't think she's even aware of it, but her body language is screaming attraction and she always manages to be touching one of them.
They're having such fun that Mamrie manages to forget the plan. Hannah crashes out some time after midnight and Grace drags Mamrie into the bedroom and it's only when she's halfway through kissing every part of Grace's body she can find that she remembers they were supposed to deal with Hannah's crush.
"Hannah is adorable," she says. It's not what she intended to say but apparently her tongue has a mind of its own tonight.
"Yeah," Grace agrees dreamily. "She's got it bad."
"Who can blame her? We're fucking hot!"
Grace hums her agreement, then moans when Mamrie's hand moves.
"She's pretty hot too, right?" Mamrie says, and where the hell is this coming from?
"Ye-es" Grace hisses brokenly and Mamrie isn't sure whether it's because of what she said or what she's doing.
"We need to do something about that." Mamrie's tone is almost conversational and she really doesn't know what the fuck is going on. Grace whines slightly and Mamrie has come to recognise that noise. She rolls them over so Grace is on top and digs the nails of her free hand into the soft skin on her back. Grace makes a helpless sound and kisses her. Mamrie can't help it, she thinks about Grace kissing Hannah again. She pushes the idea away and tries to concentrate on Grace, but Hannah keeps popping up in her thoughts.
"Maybe we should fight to the death for her affections." Mamrie keeps her tone teasing, hiding her turmoil. A person should not be in the middle of fucking their girlfriend and start fantasising about their girlfriend fucking someone else. It's messed up.
"Seems fair," Grace manages to say. Mamrie has to admit she's impressed. She knows Grace well enough now to know that she's on the brink of orgasm and she's still managing to follow the conversation.
Mamrie twists her wrist and Grace bites down on her shoulder as she comes. The two of them lie together quietly, enjoying the afterglow.
Grace finally breaks the silence.
"We could just share her," she murmurs sleepily. Mamrie tries not to react but she must have jumped or gasped or something because Grace starts awake and stares at her.
"What was that?" Grace asks her.
"Nothing," Mamrie says, "go to sleep."
"Do you...do you like the idea?"
Grace's habit of being perceptive when drunk is really annoying. Mamrie doesn't want to lie, but deflection is probably okay.
"You're the one who wants to share her out between us, babe." She tries to keep her tone light. "I didn't realise you were angling for a threesome."
Mamrie expects a laugh or a blush or something, but she doesn't expect to see guilt in Grace's eyes.
"Oh my God," Mamrie realises, "you weren't kidding."
Grace doesn't say anything. They stare at each other for a moment. Mamrie's head is swimming.
"It's late and we're drunk," Grace finally says. "We'll talk tomorrow."
——-
Grace is gone when Mamrie wakes up and Mamrie isn't sure whether she's pissed or relieved. She gets up to make some coffee and Hannah is still dead to the world, snoring quietly into the arm of the sofa, so Mamrie takes her coffee back to bed and texts Grace.
Good morning.
There. Nice and neutral.
Hey
Well that's not helpful at all.
You left early
Mamrie hits send by accident so the I missed you goes unsaid.
I figured you'd want to talk to Hannah
What?
You know, since she's so 'adorable' and 'hot'
Mamrie swears at her phone.
I'm not the one who suggested FUCKING her, Grace.
No, you're the one who liked the idea
Mamrie's memory of their conversation is pretty fuzzy but she has a feeling that that's unfair, somehow.
Screw you.
You don't need to. Hannah's there
Mamrie swears again and throws her phone across the room. It hits the wall with a bang and Mamrie hears Hannah yelp. She sighs and makes her way into the living room.
"Sorry Hannah, didn't mean to scare you."
Hannah waves a hand in dismissal and smiles. Mamrie goes to refill her coffee and when she turns around Hannah is staring at her and blushing.
Shit. Mamrie remembers Grace biting her hard last night and this t shirt is so old and stretched it's practically off the shoulder. There's no was Hannah hasn't seen Grace's mark on her; she looks like she's going to have an aneurism.
"Thanks for a great night Mames say bye to Grace for me I'm gonna go now see you later bye!" Hannah doesn't draw breath once between the couch and the door and Mamrie is surprised there isn't a cartoonish Hannah-shaped hole in it. She surveys her empty apartment.
"Shit."
——-
They don't see each other for three days. Mamrie tries calling but Grace doesn't pick up and eventually she gives up and just drives round to Grace's apartment.
Grace lets her in and they stare at each other uncertainly for a while.
"Did you fuck her?" Grace finally asks.
"What? No!"
"But you wanted to. You've been thinking about it."
Mamrie knows she has to head this off quickly. Grace lashes out when she feels vulnerable and Mamrie knows herself well enough to see where that will end up. She goes for honesty.
"I've – fuck. I've been thinking about you and her!"
"I'm not-"
"No, Grace, listen! I've been thinking about watching you and her together and then fucking joining in, do you understand? I can't get it out of my head. I'm sorry."
Mamrie looks away and her shoulders slump. There's a long silence and then Grace laughs sourly.
"This is the dumbest fight ever, then."
"What?"
Grace looks wretchedly at her for a moment and takes a deep breath.
"Mamrie, I love you. I'm crazy about you. But I think I might love her too."
Mamrie doesn't have a response to that.
"It's just...it's Hannah, you know? We're a team."
"How long," Mamrie says and her voice is thick, "how long have you felt this way?"
Tears are streaming down Grace's cheeks and Mamrie is pretty sure she's about to cry too.
"I don't know. I don't, I swear, I only even realised what it was the other night. It just all clicked into place for me. I made that stupid fucking joke and you made that noise and I realised I was hoping you were into it. It scared me so much, Mames."
Mamrie laughs. She can't help it. Even by her standards this is fucking bizarre.
"So we've spent three days fighting and accusing each other because we both want Hannah and neither of us wants to admit it?"
Grace nods, wiping harshly at her face. Mamrie can't bear to watch her punish herself anymore and pulls Grace into her arms. They hold onto each other tightly and Grace kisses her desperately.
"I love you," Grace says over and over against her lips, "I love you, I love you, I love you."
"I know, babe," Mamrie soothes. "I know."
——-
They make love after that and Mamrie can't remember feeling closer to Grace in her life. They lie together afterwards, holding each other, reassuring each other without words until they finally fall asleep.
Mamrie stays at Grace's house for nearly a week. Neither of them wants to be apart for more than a moment and Mamrie has never seen Grace be so physically affectionate. They don't talk about Hannah or acknowledge their mutual feelings for her, but they aren't avoiding the subject either. Mamrie is vaguely aware that they're building up to something and she's grateful that, however subconsciously, they've taken this time together to renew their trust in each other.
It's a Tuesday night when it finally comes up. The two of them are tangled together on Grace's bed, lazily making out. Grace's baseball shirt is on the floor and Mamrie thinks Grace in just jeans and a bra might be the sexiest thing she's ever seen. Grace strokes the sweet spot on her back gently and Mamrie bites Grace's lip in response. Grace hums happily and breaks the kiss. She looks at Mamrie with absolute love and suddenly Mamrie knows tonight is the night they finally talk about it.
"You thought about me and Hannah?" Grace asks. Her hands continue to roam over Mamrie's skin, half soothing, half arousing.
"Yeah," Mamrie answers, kissing Grace lightly. "The more I tried not to, the worse it got."
"Tell me," Grace kisses her neck lightly.
"The first time, I thought about how Hannah would react when we told her we knew and that turned into you kissing her. Then, when we all got drunk, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Even when we were fighting, I just kept coming back to this idea of the three of us."
"Did you think about it when we were together?"
"Yeah." Mamrie's surprised to realise there's no shame in her voice. "I was touching you and thinking about how she would do it, how she'd fit in, who would get to touch her first."
Mamrie isn't explaining herself very well, she knows, but Grace seems to understand.
"What about you?" Mamrie asks. Grace tugs Mamrie's t-shirt over her head before she answers so they're equally undressed.
"When I realised she had a crush at first I thought it was just you she wanted. I expected to be jealous, you know? But I saw her doing that dopey smitten look at you and it didn't hurt. It felt right. I realised that..."
Grace looks up at her, nervous, and Mamrie kisses her deeply, trying to convey her reassurance.
"I realised," Grace says, "that when we're together, I miss her."
Mamrie takes careful stock of herself. She's not hurt or upset by what Grace said. In fact, she totally gets it.
"Did you think about being with her?"
"Yeah," Grace says. They're so close together that Mamrie can see Grace's eyes dilate.
"Tell me," Mamrie's voice has gone a little husky. It's a little embarrassing how eager she is to hear Grace's fantasy.
"I thought about us, together. We're just about to have sex and Hannah walks in. She gets all flustered and apologises and you just stand up and walk over to her, buck naked. You bring her over to the bed and I kiss her while you start undressing her." Grace's hands are roaming over her skin and Mamrie blood is starting to race a little.
"When she's naked we pull her into bed with us..."
Grace is flushed and Mamrie can't tell if it's embarrassment or arousal.
"Tell me," she urges, sliding her under Grace's pants and over her ass. Grace's hips rock slightly in response and Mamrie squeezes gently.
"I go down on her. You watch. Then right before she comes, I stop."
Mamrie kisses Grace's shoulder gently and begins to work her way up her throat and her hand slides around Grace's hip until she meets wetness. Grace takes a deep, ragged breath.
"Keep going," Mamrie urges.
"Um...she...oh, Mamrie, there..."
"Keep going, Grace."
"I...um, I stop and we watch her make herself come and fuck! Harder!"
Mamrie doesn't think she's going to get any more detail from Grace tonight. She rolls them over and slides down Grace's body, eager to reward her trust.
——-
"It could happen, you know." Mamrie really doesn't know where this stuff keeps coming from. The two of them are having a nice quiet breakfast together and suddenly her mouth opens and absolute weirdness spills out.
"No it couldn't." Grace's automatic response sounds like the knee-jerk denial she always has towards things she wants. Mamrie decides to ignore it.
"We know she likes us both. We want it, she wants it. Why not?"
Grace looks up at her.
"You're serious?"
"Yeah. I am." Mamrie sounds as surprised as Grace does. They stare at each other for a moment.
"Wait, what are we talking about here?" Grace asks.
"I'm talking about you and me asking Hannah to be with us."
Mamrie sees the hope flash across Grace's expression briefly before it fades.
"Mames, this almost broke us up. If it goes wrong it could fuck up everything."
"It could," Mamrie acknowledges, "but I don't think it will. Even if she says no, we can deal with it. We're the Holy Trinity, Grace, we're the three in one. Nothing can break that."
Grace smiles.
"Okay. But we have to do this carefully."
——-
They really do intend to do it carefully. They plan to sit Hannah down and explain things in short sentences with small words and then give her the space to do her freaking out and processing and whatever else she needs. They plan to make sure Hannah knows this is something they both want and that she'd be an equal partner, not an intruder into their relationship. If she says yes, they plan to date casually to give Hannah a chance to adjust before bringing up the whole sex thing.
They plan to do everything right and then the party happens.
Maybe she shouldn't be surprised that it's Grace who initiates things. Mamrie knows Grace is convinced Hannah will say no, because Grace always refuses to believe that good things will happen to her until they're actually happening. She knows Grace is dreading talking to Hannah, she's afraid of saying the wrong thing and messing it up. Maybe this is her ripping off the Band-Aid, doing what she does best. Showing rather than telling.
Either way, when Grace looks down at Hannah and back at her, Mamrie knows what's up. She has a split second to decide to go with it before the two of them are kissing with Hannah held between them. Grace kisses her tentatively at first, as though asking permission, but if they're going to do this, they're going to fucking go for it.
Hannah makes to move away but Mamrie holds her in place and Grace runs her hands through Hannah's hair. When Hannah tries to say something Grace tugs and Hannah makes a tiny, broken noise in response and fuck, Mamrie is turned on. She slides her hands around to Hannah's waist and she swears she can feel her heart racing. She and Grace finally look at each other.
Yeah. They're going for it.
——-
Mamrie was right about the expression on Hannah's face as they undress her. Hannah is kind of passive at first, as if she's not sure what she's allowed to do, so Mamrie tells her. She finds herself becoming stern in an effort not to laugh out loud and wow, okay, Hannah is into it. Between that and Grace's mild pain kink, Mamrie is starting to feel like the vanilla one in the room and there's something she never thought would happen.
Hannah still looks a little nervous, so Mamrie tries out her theory. She looks Hannah dead in the eye and gestures towards Grace.
"Kiss her."
If it's even possible, Hannah's eyes get wider. She glances back and forth between them uncertainly. Grace finishes pulling her clothes off and walks over. Hannah is very deliberately not looking anywhere below the neck on either of them and Mamrie has to double her efforts to keep a straight face.
"Hannah," she says as Grace invades Hannah's personal space. "I said kiss her."
Mamrie can actually see Hannah's pupils dilate until barely any of the blue is left. She turns to Grace and laughs nervously.
"It's okay," Grace whispers, stroking her cheek. She's smiling at Hannah and her eyes are shining with love and Mamrie's heart constricts in her chest. This is right. This is what she wants.
Hannah glances at Mamrie once more and Mamrie nods.
And then Hannah is kissing Grace.
And then Hannah is kissing her.
And then they're loving each other.
Yeah. This is right.