August 16-18, 2013
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'VE BEEN CLEAN FOR TEN FUCKING DAYS (as of the 18th)!! IM SO PROUD AND HAPPY. Ok but seriously I'm so excited. I've been doing this paper chain thing where everyday I'm clean I add another loop. It really helps me because if I were to slip up I would have to cut out all those loops again; I am seriously so damn lazy. But I accidentally cut myself while shaving. I SWEAR IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I was shaving my legs for the pool party that night and I was going too fast! A complete accident and I didn't even want to do it again! I was happy that I didn't want to do it again. But idek of I said this last update but I had gone to the pool with Trinity and we were talking about tan lines and I had a bad one from my swimsuit skirt and my shorts. I was showing her it and I pulled my skirt up a little too far and the 4-5 cuts on my thigh showed. They're old but still clear because my thighs aren't as dark as the rest of my skin. I feel like I pulled my skirt down too quickly but she didn't say anything so I think I'm good. And that day there was this fucking ASSHORN KID. He was on his bike and had a crushed pop can at the top of his front tire so it would sound like a douchey dirt bike. He kept riding up really close behind me and Trinity and I absolutely hate people I don't trust behind me. So naturally I went up in the curb and Trinity followed my lead. And this gay ass kid was all like "You guys a wussies!" Just because we were walking on the curb because he's an annoying fuck! I remind you, this kid was like 8! But Trin made some kind of remark and he just called us wussies again. I didn't wanna deal with this dick so I just kept quiet and kept walking, but we crossed the road and he FUCKING FOLLOWED US! He did something and Trin slipped on the gravel and scraped up her foot. She let out a little squeal because that's just a girl's instinct. The kid called her a pussy and then he called me a pussy too! I was getting fed up with him and my sisters friend Doug came up from the pool and talked to us and he hit the kids tire with his when we told him the kid wouldn't leave. Then this kid was stupid enough to be all like "OMG YOU CAN'T DO THAT. I'LL TELL THE COPS ON YOU. I KNOW WHERE ONE LIVES!" (I won't say the cops name but HINT: I used to date his son.) and me and trinity were like "Yeah we know he lives too." And I, personally, went out of my way to say it really snotty and I added "I'm also. Best friends with his son." I mentally added 'so get over yourself bitch.' He repeated to threaten to tell the cops and I found I funny that he was threatening to tattle about nothing when he had just called US pussies. Doug had to go back to pool to work and me and Trin continued towards her house. And guess what? THE FUCKING KID FOLLOWED. He called us bitches and we said 'Well bitches are female dogs so that makes up cute. Thanks!' Then he called us douchebags and I knew a come back right away. "At least I'm old & smart enough to even know what a douche bag is." I said it really smug even though that knowledge is pointless. THEN THAT BITCH HAD THE NERVE TO CALL US UGLY OR SOMETHING and he hit me in the back of my leg with his fucking bike. I lost my control here a little. "You know, I would take my sunglasses off to let you see how many SHITS I don't give but these are kids shading out your face that I really don't want to see." I snapped at him. Trinity thought it was bad ass but I think I was kinda stupid. But hey, they didn't know I could sadly see him just fine. He didn't even have a response to mine so I won that round too. Then he brought up the whole cop thing and kept saying "you can't come on my property and I can all the cops on you." So finally Trin said "ok I don't even know where your property is and I really don't care." I actually liked that and it shut him up. He started to speak but trinity cut him off and asked why he was following us. He said he wasn't and we turned down the street to Trin's house. "well you can't come on my property or I can call the cops on you, so go away.", Trin said and I liked the way she took his stuff and turned it on him. We turned our backs on him and walked away and he said, "ok bye BITCHES." And I right away shouted, "SUCK MY DICK!" because it's just my default phrase, I say it automatically. But he responded with "Go to hell!" And I literally laughed out loud and said, "We're already fuckin there." He didn't respond but Trin did. I thought she was doing good until now, she whispered: I didn't think we were.
She ruined my whole realm of "Imma slap a bitch."
That's all for that story.
Oh yeah and I took the Goldberg's Depression Test... I scored 43. I should have guessed it but I was still a bit shocked by it. Yet, it is what it is, right?
I might as well update you on my love life because I'm just that girly and shit.
I haven't been talking to Jayyson lately and it makes me a little upset. Ok that's a lie it makes me REALLY upset. I know I sound annoying and possessive but I haven't talked to since like the stone age! And tbh I'm not sure if I should keep liking him until I meet him. I dunno. Maybe you guys could give me some advice? Because you know what they say: If you love something, let it go.
I know letting go hurts like a bitch but maybe it's better in the long run?
I can't just keep holding on to this whole thing with him but it hurts to think of letting go.
I just hate guys, love, life, and emotions.
-___- *sighs*
sorry this went up late.
