October, 14th, 2013
35 days down the drain. To day would have been day 36, but I broke down in my closet sobbing. I sobbed at the lost of beloved Jayyson. I sobbed at the fact that my 10 new cuts weren't bleeding enough. I sobbed that I am too chicken to overdose. I sobbed that no one knows these things. I sobbed that no one cared to care. I sobbed that everyone I loved was leaving. First I'm outcast-ed by my friends, which lead to renewing my friendship with Sydney. Then she had to move away. Then Jayyson overdoses successfully. What am I left with now? A best friend that has other people to love her? A crush that probably just likes this new found attention from me? A family that hates me? A boyfriend that likes the school slut more than me and doesn't even talk to me?
I fucking hate everything. I want to be with Jayyson. I want to die. Yet for some reason I'm still pleading for my knight in shining armor to come save me from my hell.
Shitty update for a shitty day.
Ugh, fuck off about it.
