May 23, 2013
So my brother's old best friend, lets call him Jim, snapchatted me, as he sometimes does, and we started just talking, as we sometimes do. Eventually we were just saying dumb, sexy stuff, and he asked if I was a virgin. I answered and he told me if he was. Those answers were quite personal, so you don't get to know them. But we asked each other if we were serious about the flirty stuff we had made known earlier. Surprisingly, we both said yes. We've concluded that to do anything naughty together would be unwise and we dropped it. I can't help but think about him. All the time.
May 25, 2014
So I'm not yet over "Jim", but have come to realize that I never got over Will. Last night me, deb, and will were out until 2 A.M. Will was very giggly and all that good stuff. He had stolen my iPod, and I had taken his phone. Me and stupid Deb were trying to get my iPod back, mainly Deb because she claims she loves him. I know she only started mildly liking him because I really liked him. But nonetheless, I had reached the depressed stage of my bi-polar mood swings. Deb was being all annoying and none of us could go home till she gave Will's phone back. It was TWO in the MORNING and he had to work 9-4 tommorow, or technically that day, with very annoying people. I told Deb to just give it back, but she had the NERVE to say I was being ass! I was only trying to help Will! So I stopped and let them work it out. then she was trapped between me and him on the slide.
"Touch me and I'll cut you, bitch.", I told her then she fucking sat on my tits and OH I could have broke her neck right there! but I just told her to get her fat ass off of me. she did and I got up an moved to where she wasn't. I suggested again that she just give back his phone and she told me to shut up. She had already told Will to shut up as well, so neither of us were talking to her. She kept blabbering on and on anyway. That's when I started thinking about how much I still liked Will, and how jealous I was that she was hogging him when he was mine first.
She was breaking the girl code. Sisters before misters, right? Apparently not, she had said earlier that he was hers. I had scoffed at that but not said anything.
As I sat silently looking at the stars, I realized that she had stolen my guy completely. I was furious, because it had been ME who introduced these two! Had it not been for ME she never would have gotten to know him!
Then my heart broke as I noticed his amazingly flirty behavior towards her. What ever emotional heart I had left had been crushed into a million pieces, because while I was trying to move on from a guy that was just out of my reach; he had fallen for the girl that copies everything I do. She did everything I did, only she was more annoying, but he fell for HER? What's so wrong with me that I wasn't good enough?! HUH!?
This entry was titled "Whore." because I'm in love with everybody except my boyfriend. Poor Max, he puts me on a pedestal, but he can't reach me up here. I belong in Hell. We all know it. When my holy ass friends tell me about how horrible Hell sounds, I know that I will deserve all of it and more for the rest of eternity. All because I'm a little FUCKING WHORE.
