March 19th, 2014
So today I had a church retreat- it's kinda just a 3.5 hour long meeting in a church with those super holy people. You play some games, have some talks, tell some stories, eat a bit, and pray a fucking lot. I have to go, my parents want me Confirmed and to be Confirmed I have to go to the mandatory retreats. I kinda wanted to go anyway because each of the other 2 years there'd been a cute guy that helped run the show. So what if he's always a college kid? A girl can dream! But that's off topic, the main thing that made me want to type an update is that the head honcho had said, "Palms up is a sign of surrender, so always pray with your palms up."
[A/N THIS MIGHT BE TRIGGERING!! CAUTION!]
And I had immediately thought, "Funny, because I cut with my palms up. I bleed with my palms up."
When he said that I doubt he, or anyone else, noticed me automatically crushing my wrist in shame.
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So that's about it, that cute guy from last year was there, *sigh* He's got these really nice brown eyes and dark, warm features. He's also got this great smile and really nice teeth. He played the electric guitar, but he's really really churchy. So as if the age difference wasn't enough, our beliefs wouldn't meld nicely either. I'm not atheist, I do believe there could be a God, but I just don't have much trust in him. So don't bitch to me about this, but instead just let me do me, and you can do you. Also don't even think about calling me a whore because I'm "sooo in love" with this guy when I have a boyfriend. I said the guy was adorable features, but for GOD'S SAKE he's a COLLEGE STUDENT. IM BARELY A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT. It's HARDLY like we'd EVER be a thing in anyway!
That's all I've decided is relevant. Bye guys.
