Did I let you down to get that sound
And break my knees to get release
And you needed some just to take you from
And I hit you more
Is your face still sore?
Sorry but I tried
It was never mine
And I can still pretend
I guess it all depends
I'm still a little crazy all the time
But I still try to hide it
That's still mine
Try a little more
a little more
a little more
They slap you like a bitch
and you take it like a whore
What a cheap perfume
I hate this room
So testify
But I still tried
And you need that stamp
Little handshake tramp
And you hit me more
And my face is still sore
Sorry but I tried
It was never mine
And I can still pretend
I guess it all depends
I'm still a little crazy all the time
But I still try to hide it
That's still mine
Try a little more
a little more
a little more
They slap you like a bitch
and you take it like a whore
Upside down
and around
and around
Just another piece
Till you need another sound
Faze them out
I know what you scream about
Don't let me down
And the guilt in me is the hurt in you
And the hurt in you is the lost in me
And the lost in me is the need in you
And the need in you is the guilt in me
Try a little more
a little more
a little more
They slap you like a bitch
and you take it like a whore
Upside down
and around
and around
Just another piece
Till you need another sound
Try a little more
a little more
a little more
They slap you like a bitch
and you take it like a whore
Upside down
and around
and around
Just another piece
Till you need another sound
Shake Tramp by Mariana's Trench
----------------------
THEY SLAP YOU LIKE A BITCH AND YOU TAKE IT LIKE A WHORE.
----------------------
June 13, 2014
So I fucking cried myself to sleep last night. I'm such a little bitch. I guess I'll tell you why... not that you actually want to know anything I put in this stupid online journal.
So, yes I have a boyfriend. No, I didn't get with that guy from the previous update. Yes, I have two rekindled crushes. No, I haven't broken up with my boyfriend. Yes, I'm aware I'm a pathetic skitch.
Both of my crushes are completely clueless that all I want to do with my life is cuddle up to them, lay my head on his chest, and cry my little heart out while his arm is around me so his hand rest right where my body has a feminine curve like an hourglass. I just want one of them to hold me through at least one night. So I can just be happy for a while. Who are these two mystery men? I won't say exactly, because one might read this. I can't say for sure though.
They're both tall, pale, dark haired, kinda shy, and totally sweet. They both love Internet, like me!
Guy number one is the first guy I ever cuddled with. Here's and excerpt from that beautiful memory! ------------------------>
One certain memory floods my mind and overrides Everything else. It's you and me. Cuddling. It's silent between us and you can hear the cheers from the foot ball game and the announcer. It's homecoming. We are laying down on the high jump mats. Your arms tighten around me. Just a little. But I love it. I indiscreetly snuggle closer to you and smile into your chest. For a moment, my life's complications don't matter. <------------------------------
I also remember from that night my mother had bought me a new perfume, it was Victoria's Secret perfume and after we started dating I would put the perfume on to remind me of that night when I first wore it and won you over. After we broke up I never wore it again. I hate myself for breaking up with you for that douche that lead me on. We didn't start out right anyway. I can't even remember the name of the perfume anymore. I still like you though.
Guy number two is someone who was never mine but I was always his. I always openly showed I wanted him to love me like I loved him, but he always went straight for his whores and never me. Why do boys just want to stick their dicks somewhere!? It broke me down and ruined us. Then he was just gone completely. That was the around first time I cut. That was when I still merely scraped four little, red, swelling lines. Then he came back, but the tables had changed. I was the dealer now! He came back and begged me to love him again, but the monitor had gone cold. My heart was frozen like a stone in winter. I didn't trust him. I told him he had to restart because he chose to leave. He didn't even FUCKING TRY. I'm so pathetic that I still had to try though! because "I miiissed him and I looove him!" Ugh, the sad part is that I can't help it.
I hate me because I want him.
I hate him because he doesn't want me.
I hate me because I won't get the FUCK over him.
I hate him because he's always off with other girls and leaving me miserable.
I hate me because I don't tell him I'm miserable.
I hate him because he doesn't notice how obviously miserable I am.
I hate me because I know I don't actually hate him.
I really just hate myself for everything I am.
Guy number two you probably know who you are and I don't care if you know anymore. Even if you did care you wouldn't pursue me anyway so I don't know why I bother.
I'm just a stupid little tramp.
