Save You Tonight

12.

~June 16, 2016~

Here it is Monday morning and I still can't shake what happened Saturday night. My mind won't stop replaying the horrifying look in Kalebs eyes or the way his voice, full of anger, filled the space around us. I could still feel the way his hands dug into my upper arms, where I now have five medium sized bruises dotting both of my arms and they hurt like hell. I wore long sleeved shirts to cover them up, not wanting to explain how I got them. 

Sunday was...strange. Kaleb acted as if nothing happened and I went about my day in a haze. I got all my cleaning done, the laundry finished and dinner made without any interruptions from Kaleb. The slightest move from him had me practically jumping ten feet back. My heart raced in my chest all day and my mind ran about a hundred miles per second as I tried to justify what he did. 

He shouldn't have grabbed me like that and hurt me like he did. But I should have been more careful being out with Harry. I should have realized photos would have been taken and posted of us and that people would jump to conclusions about us. If I was just more cautious and aware I could have avoided that whole encounter with Kaleb. It was my own fault he got so mad. I should have known better. I just have to be more careful.

I was making some tea for Caroline and as I waited for the water in the kettle to boil I busied myself with making her something to eat. I cut up some fresh strawberries and place them in a bowl, along with some blueberries. I add some yogurt and a little bit of granola and call it good. I pour a small glass of orange juice and set it on the tray with her food.  Caroline is a very healthy eater and watches everything she eats, even though lately she hasn't been eating much.

Ive noticed her breathing has become more labored which in turn makes her exhausted. I've listened to her lungs and they aren't congested but I can still tell that it's hard for her to take a deep breath. She doesn't let it bring her down though, she's still pretty cheery and always smiling, even when she's not really sure what's going on around her. There are days where Caroline with be able to hold a conversation, be able to form complete, coherent sentence; while there have been days where she will say things that make no sense at all. Luckily today was a good day.

"Good morning Caroline," I call out a greeting as I enter her bedroom. Caroline sits in her rocking chair by her window, looking out into the back yard. She's dressed in her warm bathrobe and her fuzzy slippers.  She turns to me, her face breaking out into a wide smile.

"Good morning dear, how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you feeling this morning?" I ask, setting her tray of food down on the fold out stand next to her, careful not to spill the tea.  I take a seat in the small armchair beside her, giving me a view of the backyard as well.  It was sunny out this morning, a small hint of morning dew lingered on the green grass.

"Just fine, Maci. Just fine. This looks lovely, thank you," she says, taking a small spoonful of her yogurt with berries. While she eats I take in the vast backyard. The large guesthouse sits off the the left side of the house, leaving the rest wide open. Way in the back corner of the yard was a large greenhouse, something Anne has told me she takes pride in. She grows her vegetables and even some flowers. Anne promised me she would show me the ways of being a successful 'vegetable farmer'. I chuckled at her terminology but deep down I was thrilled to have someone teach me, considering the only thing my mother knew how to make were White Russians.

Caroline was just about finished with her breakfast when there was a knock at her door. We both look up as Harry opens the door, smiling widely at his grandmother and his eyes lighting up even more when he notices me next to her. Is he happy to see me? I suddenly feel nervous or anxious. My stomach was doing flips and I couldn't stop my heart from beating faster than normal.  Was any of this normal?