Save You Tonight

51.

(Sorry for the bad editing and if this sucks, I'm half asleep right now! Haha )

I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach that something bad is going to happen. That once Harry and I get our relationship back on track something will happen to knock us back off. I've spent all of Friday worrying about it, feeling on edge, just waiting for some thing to happen. Gemma thinks I'm crazy and just scared, Harry thinks I'm having doubts and even though I've told him I haven't changed my mind he doesn't seem convinced. It's driving me crazy and it's keeping me from being present on the drive to London.

Harry and I seem to have fallen into the same routine as before. His hand on my thigh, my hand covering his, the car silent except for the music Harry let me pick. It was comfortable, but I could tell Harry was itching to say something, his thumb has been drumming against the steering wheel for almost an hour now. 

"Go ahead," I say, chuckling a little.

"What?" Harry asks, failing miserably at being clueless.

"I know you've been dying to say or ask me something, so go ahead." He glances over at me for a second before looking back at the road.

"Are you sure you're ok? You've looked sad and distant all morning and all of yesterday," Harry finally gets out.

I didn't say anything right off, letting the sound of the tires on the pavement and the music fill the silence. There's no point in not telling him about the way I've been feeling. I came back into this relationship not wanting to be scared of opening up and being honest. We need that honesty to help rebuild that trust. How could I expect him to be honest and open with me if I wasn't willing to put in the same effort?

"I've had this weird feeling ever since our date that something bad was going to happen, like to ruin our relationship," I tell him, turning in my seat so I could look at him better.

"Nothing is going to happen baby, I promise. You've been through a lot and me being stupid didn't help things so I'm sure you still have some doubts," Harry assures me, giving my thigh a light squeeze.

"Of course I still have some doubts, but it's nothing to make me feel this nervous," I tell him, grabbing his hand from my thigh and holding it tightly in mine.  I really hated feeling like this, I was literally sick to my stomach.

"Maci, nothing is going to happen. I'm not going to let anything ruin what we have. I've already gone through losing you once, I'm not going to let that happen again." Harry looks over at me and smiles reassuringly at me. His words calm me slightly but the feeling was still there. "If you want to cancel this weekend, we can turn around and head back. I don't want you to feel like this the whole weekend."

"I'll be alright. I don't want to head back." I smile at him even though he's watching the road. I admire is profile, loving the sharp angle of his jaw and the straight angle of his nose and the softness of his pink lips.  Still amazes me, even after everything that happened, I'm here with Harry Styles, this gorgeous man who could have anyone he wants but chose me.  Silly boy. My silly boy.