Trying to Throw my Arms Around the World

Refined sugars

Refined sugars

Whenever I so much as glanced at Lou, desire gushed through me and my anger intensified. I had failed to see what was so special about Katy years ago. She sported a spectacular bunch of wavy curls and her eyes were of the seductive wide and brown variety, but her personality was so vile and manipulative that I couldn’t understand that Lou would even consider setting aside her principles for her. Bitter pangs of rejection cramped through my body, but I couldn’t admit defeat, not in front of Katy. Somewhere she had found the courtesy to not be all over Lou in my company − possibly on instruction from Liz or Alex. When Lou, unfazed by Joan’s comments, went out for her next smoke, I seized the opportunity and stepped out on the balcony with her.

“So, you and Katy eh? Some night that must−”

“Don’t be so hard on her.”

“You do know that at Alex’s party she invited me to go home with you both?”

“I think we all had a bit too much to drink that night. You included.”

“When did you miraculously decide to give relationships a go again, then?”

“It’s not what it looks like, Lee.”

“Oh really? Since when is showing up−”

“I think your girlfriend wants you to go back inside. If looks could kill, this window would be shattered and a shard of glass would be stuck in my throat right now.”

“She’s not my girlfriend. She’s my trainer.”

“Could have fooled me.”

I walked back inside and picked up a glimpse of fury in Joan’s stare. I probably shouldn’t have slept with her, but chances were that I would end up in her bed again tonight − if only to try and forget about Lou’s pillowy lips and maddening aloof stance.

Andrew had just served his home-made profiteroles when Joan announced her departure.

“I know you don’t do refined sugars but you don’t have to eat it,” I said, perplexed. It was obvious she didn’t want me to go home with her.

“Saturday is my busiest day. My first client arrives at seven-thirty.”

“OK, I’ll go with you.”

“Don’t be silly, Lee. Stay with your friends.” She thanked Liz and Andrew and hugged everyone goodbye, except me. My plan had not only failed, it had just painfully backfired.

“Go after her,” Liz said. “Talk to her.” 

I caught Joan as she exited the building. I had taken the elevator, she the stairs. Her puffy winter coat almost swallowed her.

“Hey, wait up.” She turned around, her face hard and unyielding. “What’s going on?”

“I knew what the deal was when coming here, so don’t worry about me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re in love with Lou. That’s fine.”

“Lou’s with Katy and you and I came here together. I’m not that heartless.”

“Open your eyes, honey. Remove your head from whatever it’s stuck into and open your bloody eyes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Bye, Lee.” She walked away in search of a taxi, shaking her head. I had no idea what she was talking about. It was a cold foggy night. I had run after Joan without grabbing my jacket and I stood there, bemused and shivering, as I watched her disappear into the low mists. I dreaded going back inside and meeting Katy’s triumphant grin. I cringed at the thought of seeing Lou and Katy leave together. Their deliberately concealing behaviour irritated me more than the flaunting I had anticipated. I rode the elevator back up, against Joan’s advice to always − even when it seemed impossible − take the opportunity to climb some stairs, and knocked on Liz’s door.

To be continued…