Trying to Throw my Arms Around the World

Pancakes

Pancakes

“I wouldn’t mind doing that again.” Roz lay panting next to me in bed, one leg crossed over mine, sweat gathering where our flesh touched.

“That was quite the strategy you deployed.”

“What do you mean?” She shifted her body towards me, the back of her knee ungluing itself from my upper thigh with a sucking sound.

“Not giving me the chance to decline.”

“Sometimes it’s better not to take any risks.” I closed my eyes and instantly images of Lou crowded the blackness behind my eye-lids. Simply kissing Lou, the slightest encounter of our mouths, was enough to set off a million explosions under my skin − and I felt every single one of them. A pity shag with Roz was no match, it didn’t even come close to the magic that spectacularly fluttered through my veins when Lou shot me a smile, her lips so full and promising. If anything, sleeping with Roz had only intensified my hunger for Lou.

“I should go. I need to change before work.”

“Don’t go yet.” And just like that, she was on top of me again, her endless limbs chaining me to the bed. “I have a feeling you won’t come back once you do.”

“Well, the reasons to stay away are far more numerous than the ones to return.”

“I’m not your therapist anymore, Lee. We can be friends now.”

“What a successful first step we took in that direction.”

“I know you’re in love with Lou and I’m hardly in bed with you because of a late-in-life discovery of the joys of lady love, but it doesn’t have to be awkward.”

“I liked having you as my therapist.”

“I know and I also know you liked it for too many wrong reasons.”

“Can you get off me now, please? I can’t breathe.” She released her full-body hold on me but I still felt as if I couldn’t catch my breath. I got up and hurried to the bathroom, the morning chill freezing my toes.

“Thanks for staying last night,” Roz yelled from the bedroom. “It meant a lot to me.”

Eleanor was already up and about, rummaging through kitchen cupboards and juggling pans, when I arrived home.

“Morning, Lee. Can I interest you in some pancakes?”

“Are you kidding me? Have I ever told you you’re the best landlady on this planet?”

“Not nearly enough, dear, but at my age praise becomes so insignificant, it hardly matters.”

“Don’t be daft. Either way, you’re the greatest of them all.”

“Busy night, I take it?”

“Yeah, babysitting and, huh, some other things.”

“No doubt.” She winked at me in a way only people with more than sixty years of experience in life can, putting it all in perspective with the blink of an eye. “Someone came to see you last night. A nice girl. Pretty as well.” Immediately my heart started thundering in my chest.

“Who?”

“I believe her name was Lou. Short for Louise, I presume?”

“Fuck. She came here? What time was this? And what did she say?” No, no, no, I thought, fuck no. I missed Lou because of a night of compassion with Roz.

“Mind your language, dear. It’s not even eight yet.” Eleanor peered at me over the rim of her glasses, her mouth drawn into a mocking curve. No one cursed more in this house than her. “She just asked if you were home. It must have been around nine.” I checked my watch. It was a quarter to eight. Was it too early to call her? And did she have a miraculous change of heart?

“I’ll be right back, Eleanor. I just need to make a call.”

To be continued…